kat5560 is offline kat5560 Post #1  July 12,2009, 9:14pm
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i was just reading one of the eh articles.

it quotes that "love is not a feeling,, its a decsision".

what do you all think about that??
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #2  July 12,2009, 9:18pm
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It is 10000000% correct.

Feelings. Fade.

There will be times when you are totally irritated with your spouse. Love is sticking with that person through thick and thin, not how you are feeling every day about them. What about if they get sick or seriously ill? They need you to be there for them even though you might not "feel" like it.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #3  July 12,2009, 9:35pm
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Love is in part a feeling, but that's only part of it.

Most importantly, love is a verb. To love. It is therefore characterized by loving actions.

I have found that it's definitely easier to love through action if I feel love, the feeling, for someone. But simply feeling love won't build a relationship.
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #4  July 12,2009, 10:21pm
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kat5560 wrote :
i was just reading one of the eh articles.

it quotes that "love is not a feeling,, its a decsision".

what do you all think about that??
Troublemaker!

The problem that still exists if love is a 'decision'....is that decisions can be changed, just as feelings can.
Last edited by jayjay; July 12,2009 at 11:14pm.
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #5  July 12,2009, 11:33pm
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I think it's both, actually.

According to my own personal and yet to be published disctionary, Love is defined as a feeling opposite of Hate. It is the easiest way I know how to define it, in addition to the usual companions of Care and Respect.

In that same dictionary Love is also defined as a decision to Learn about each other, a choice to Understand each other based on that Knowledge, rather than jumping to unsubstantiated conclusions, and a conscious effort to Grow Together and not apart. An added bonus of purely human Compassion is always welcome.

The feeling of being "In Love" is defined largely as an Inspirational Infatuation. But then it is the job of True & Pure Love to keep that wonderful feeling of being "In Love" alive, at least for the most part.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #6  July 12,2009, 11:54pm
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kat5560 wrote :
i was just reading one of the eh articles.

it quotes that "love is not a feeling,, its a decsision".

what do you all think about that??

I think that's complete BS! If love were a "decision," I could have decided to be in love with any one of several fine men who have asked me out, but I felt nothing for.

If love were a "decision," when I had a broken heart I could have just decided not to love that person any more.

No.... love is a FEELING. You can decide what to do with that feeling... but LOVE is a FEELING.
 
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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #7  July 13,2009, 12:05am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I think that's complete BS! If love were a "decision," I could have decided to be in love with any one of several fine men who have asked me out, but I felt nothing for.

If love were a "decision," when I had a broken heart I could have just decided not to love that person any more.

No.... love is a FEELING. You can decide what to do with that feeling... but LOVE is a FEELING.
I agree that it's not simply a decision or an act of will, but it's not solely a feeling either. It's a verb.

If it were a feeling alone, you couldn't love someone - you would simply feel love, like you feel happy or sad. But you don't happy or sad anyone.

In every language I've ever spoken (a total of six) love is also a verb, not simply a noun.
 
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ActionSoftGuy is offline ActionSoftGuy Post #8  July 13,2009, 12:29am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
I think that's complete BS! If love were a "decision," I could have decided to be in love with any one of several fine men who have asked me out, but I felt nothing for.

If love were a "decision," when I had a broken heart I could have just decided not to love that person any more.

No.... love is a FEELING. You can decide what to do with that feeling... but LOVE is a FEELING.

Good point.

I think love is a decision, but we have the freedom whom we will decide to exercise that decision towards. There are some who are much easier to love than others. And when choosing a mate for life, it would seem sensible to choose, at least initially, to love someone who you are more prone to love. And then after that choice is made, you continue to love them, but now it is a decision, not based on feelings, but rather on choice.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope — Advice Member-Moderator Post #9  July 13,2009, 12:44am
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I believe that love is a choice: except in rare cases, you fall in love because you are ready and willing to. And because the guy is hot.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #10  July 13,2009, 4:36am
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The 'feeling' part of love is the attraction you feel for that person ...

...but love, itself, is what others have said - a verb, an action, a choice of emotion (as opposed to logic).

Honestly, ask anyone who has been married for 10+ years. Some days, and sometimes more days than not, you have to make a conscious decision to be in love with the person you've committed your life to because the 'feeling' of love simply isn't enough.
 
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