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kat5560 kat5560 is offline
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tommyboy047 wrote :
I think, love is a feeling. When in love with someone, you feel this love and sometimes deeply. You decide to commit to that person because you love them, not love them because you decide to love them. I would rather have someone who loves me because they feel it rather then decide to love me but then decide to commit to me because of the feeling of love. And you decide to stay with them through thick and thin because you feel love for them.
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im agreeing with this one,, and also with wonderwomen.

Love is not that intial attraction. That is a feeling of attraction that feels like love but isnt. To me i feel love when i look at person im with and see all those wonderful things i love about who they are,, and then i "feel" a feeling of love in my heart. i never think about choosing that feeling,,,its just there.
But if it was a choice, i would have been in love years ago with a wonderful man that i was freinds with for many years and who loved me very much, but i just did not "feel" that kind of love for him.
i would have liked to,i would have liked to choosen too, i just couldnt.
if someone is loving me back,, i would also much rather have it for the reasons tommyboy just said.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:02 am
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tommyboy047 wrote :
And, you can't just decide to stop loving someone you loved. It takes time to heal from a lost love not a decision. Sure you have to decide to to start the healing process because if you don't get to that point to decide to get over a loved one, you probably never will but you can't just decide and then the feeling is over, nope, no way, no how... grrrruuufffff (OZ).
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so true.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:07 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I and really confused now


twinwaters wrote :
HI Im a newbie here

- July 13th, 2009, 10:09 am
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dietpepsi dietpepsi is offline
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The older I get, the more love resembles family. Parents, grandparents and siblings. People that are involved in your daily life, who have entered your inner circle of trust by relation and not by choice.

You might not get along with them all the time, but you love them because you respect them for who they are (as public citizens and private individuals) and how they always look out for you and vice versa.

Can you lose that loving feeling? Not if they're good people. Can you love someone and hurt them at the same time? No that's not love.

So no, love is not a romantic feeling but a steady flux of actions and social interactions to support another.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:18 am
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It begins as a feeling, then if there is a commitment that is a decision. After that it is a decision to continue in the relationship even on those days when you don't particularly like the person you love. The reward is that the feeling comes back if you are patient and then you appreciate what some others would have walked away from. No one is lovable each and every day, not even you. So give what you want to get.
- July 13th, 2009, 10:36 am
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kat5560 kat5560 is offline
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Diann1950 wrote :
It begins as a feeling, then if there is a commitment that is a decision. After that it is a decision to continue in the relationship even on those days when you don't particularly like the person you love. The reward is that the feeling comes back if you are patient and then you appreciate what some others would have walked away from. No one is lovable each and every day, not even you. So give what you want to get.
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thanks diann,, said beautifully.
- July 13th, 2009, 12:33 pm
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Diann1950 wrote :
It begins as a feeling, then if there is a commitment that is a decision. After that it is a decision to continue in the relationship even on those days when you don't particularly like the person you love. The reward is that the feeling comes back if you are patient and then you appreciate what some others would have walked away from. No one is lovable each and every day, not even you. So give what you want to get.
It's also true that our decisions aren't entirely rational. If anything, it seems that decisions are actually based on emotion (especially regarding highly charged aspects of life) and that the reasons we have for these decisions are more like post hoc rationalizations. Perhaps the 'decision' to love someone reflects a longer emotional timescale, rather than emotions that change quickly.
- July 13th, 2009, 12:49 pm
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Dietpepsi, I noticed your romantic reference to love. I am a romantic person and the more I love someone the more that romantic side comes out. I do feel romance, I sometimes feel romance as deeply as I feel love. When setting up a romantic experience for my girl, the whole time I am setting it up, I am feeling how much I love this women, and sometimes the experience goes through changes because of this feeling that is consuming my thoughts, my romantic side can be very creative. Even if just out on the town, opening her door and helping her in and out of the car, is part of romancing the person you love. Love for me is a feeling and so is romance. Not all will agree but a true romantic I am sure will. Sure you can argue that I decide to be romantic but I say, I am a romantic, that is who I am and it's a feeling that comes over me. Romance does not die over time with a true romantic in flourishes because your feeling of loving someone does the same. I do not feel romance if I do not feel love, at that time I will do something though not so deep or creative because all women deserve romance in there life. The difference is clear for those that know.
- July 13th, 2009, 12:54 pm
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carose wrote :
Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
IMO that description of love from Corinthians describes a kind of divine love that human beings, in and of themselves, are not capable of. I don't think this is a description of 'romantic love' which is what discussions on this forum generally consider. I think the divine love described in your post is something entirely different than romantic love.
- July 13th, 2009, 01:04 pm
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Wonderwoman402 Wonderwoman402 is offline
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carose wrote :
Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
I am living proof that love does NOT endure all things and that love can fail.

This quote does not, however, address whether love is a feeling or a decision.

I haven't seen anything here to convince me that love is a decision. Love is a feeling, and you can act on that feeling (or not act on that feeling, depending on the situation), but you cannot just decide to love someone or to be in love.
- July 14th, 2009, 02:47 pm
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