Is bigger better? Is she really into me?


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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangelAdvice Member-Moderator Post #21  July 12,2009, 12:31pm
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KungFuFtr wrote :
Why the HELL would she tell you about how great a past lover was or the size of his junk?! Also, her talking about stuff she's done with other guys and not you (until recently) is about as therapeutic to a relationship as a kick to the groin during foreplay.
Why why why?
Good question...was wondering the same thing myself...
 
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scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #22  July 12,2009, 12:41pm
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KungFuFtr wrote :
Why the HELL would she tell you about how great a past lover was or the size of his junk?! Also, her talking about stuff she's done with other guys and not you (until recently) is about as therapeutic to a relationship as a kick to the groin during foreplay.
Why why why?
brneyedangel wrote :
Good question...was wondering the same thing myself...
heck, from reading the OP he probably asked her.

there are people that will pester you with questions about how they compare to past lovers - and you should never ask questions if you can't handle the answer.
 
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skip9824 is offline skip9824 Post #23  July 12,2009, 1:46pm
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scarlet13 wrote :
heck, from reading the OP he probably asked her.

there are people that will pester you with questions about how they compare to past lovers - and you should never ask questions if you can't handle the answer.
I don't know if that is necessarily true. I think we ask questions every day that we don't REALLY want to know the answer to, but we ask looking for validation. "Does my butt look fat in these jeans?"

One thing people forget is how fragile the male psyche can be. I think stereotypically women are seen as being more emotional, and needing more affirmation, etc... And I don't think this could be any further from the truth. I also don't think that needing affirmation is a sign of insecurity... The book "The Five Love Languages" holds that this is one of the 5 basic ways that we feel loved by others.

In my relationships I try to not point out a shortcomings in my partner, even if directly asked, if I know it is something they can't do anything about. If it really doesn't matter... tell the person the answer you know they are looking for. Build them up, add to their confidence (we all need a boost sometimes), and make them feel good about themselves. If the problem is SO important to me that it would be a deal breaker, and the person can't do anything about it (even if they wanted to)... then the relationship just isn't going to work out.
 
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FaintestInkling is offline FaintestInkling Post #24  July 13,2009, 3:41pm
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