is there a "relationship personality"?


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treeye is offline treeye Post #1  July 10,2009, 6:46pm
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being single for most of my current of my life, I witnessed most of my friends progressed from dating to relationship to marriage, while for me, after all the short lived dating/relationships, I'm still single. even on the streets, most people are happily accompanied, but here I'm, after a year's online dating, still single.

I'm pretty sure I'm not un-attractive, maybe there's something wrong with my personality? maybe my standards are too high?I'm not the relationship type? why it seemed so easy for others to be find a good relationship while so hard for me?
 
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howlong is offline howlong Post #2  July 10,2009, 7:33pm
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Just wondering how outgoing are you? What do you do in your spare time?

If you sit back and just wait for something then nothing is really going to happen. Especially if you are a guy, women (at least some) expect to be chased and if you arent chasing no one to get
 
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SoOverIt is offline SoOverIt Post #3  July 11,2009, 2:54am
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Who said they are in good relationships? Many people remain in relationships which are terrible just because they can't handle the thought of being single. And maybe there's nothing wrong with you apart from the fact you're trying too hard. People always say you find it when you've given up looking for a reason....that's the way it usually happens.

I have met every single one of my partners in the ordinary course of my life. Never through a dating site, or trawling bars or by looking. Relax and let it happen.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  July 11,2009, 6:32am
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It's hard for everyone, not just you. One thing.. eager , desperate and (read highlighted).. victim mentality, are all turn offs. Please do some introspection, think about others more not just your own plight and you will instantly be 1000x more attractive
treeye wrote :
being single for most of my current of my life, I witnessed most of my friends progressed from dating to relationship to marriage, while for me, after all the short lived dating/relationships, I'm still single. even on the streets, most people are happily accompanied, but here I'm, after a year's online dating, still single.

I'm pretty sure I'm not unattractive, maybe there's something wrong with my personality? maybe my standards are too high?I'm not the relationship type? why it seemed so easy for others to be find a good relationship while so hard for me?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  July 11,2009, 6:45am
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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treeye wrote :
being single for most of my current of my life, I witnessed most of my friends progressed from dating to relationship to marriage, while for me, after all the short lived dating/relationships, I'm still single. even on the streets, most people are happily accompanied, but here I'm, after a year's online dating, still single.

I'm pretty sure I'm not un-attractive, maybe there's something wrong with my personality? maybe my standards are too high?I'm not the relationship type? why it seemed so easy for others to be find a good relationship while so hard for me?
I feel your pain.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #6  July 11,2009, 6:48am
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SoOverIt wrote :
Who said they are in good relationships? Many people remain in relationships which are terrible just because they can't handle the thought of being single. And maybe there's nothing wrong with you apart from the fact you're trying too hard. People always say you find it when you've given up looking for a reason....that's the way it usually happens.

I have met every single one of my partners in the ordinary course of my life. Never through a dating site, or trawling bars or by looking. Relax and let it happen.
I think the OP is talking about LTRs, by your statement you have had many partners and not knowing anything about you including your age then I will assume that your relationships were not particularly long lived.

If you have had partners just fall into your lap so to speak you have been extremely lucky and certainly not the norm.
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #7  July 11,2009, 11:18am
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I'm approaching 30, and it seems when i get older, its harder to find someone who's both compatible and have chemistry. well,my bottom line is : chemistry, college education, taller than me (5'-8"), good job, no kids. I don't think that's a very high standard but I'm only matched with about one person every two or three weeks in my city... I don't want to do LDR.

I'm quicker to get emotionally attached than a man does, but I'm not desperate. maybe it's just coz the city I'm in, I'm glad I've to relocate next year.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #8  July 11,2009, 4:27pm
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Wiseman2 wrote :
It's hard for everyone, not just you. One thing.. eager , desperate and (read highlighted).. victim mentality, are all turn offs. Please do some introspection, think about others more not just your own plight and you will instantly be 1000x more attractive



I have to agree. Victim mentality is not attractive. And not even very realistic. You're what? Almost 30? LOTS of women marry older than that! My next door neighbor married at 56. She had all but given up.

It happened for her when she least expected it. Just like Over It said.



It's not over till you're dead and in the grave.
 
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treeye is offline treeye Post #9  July 11,2009, 8:26pm
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I don't get it. some frustration in dating equals to victim mentality. it seems only saints are now using eharmony, and they use it till "grave" time.

thanks for the post anyway.

j0hn8andy wrote :
I have to agree. Victim mentality is not attractive. And not even very realistic. You're what? Almost 30? LOTS of women marry older than that! My next door neighbor married at 56. She had all but given up.

It happened for her when she least expected it. Just like Over It said.



It's not over till you're dead and in the grave.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  July 12,2009, 3:59am
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Read your own "criteria" here. He has to live in your
town . He has to be so and so educated, earn so and so much be so and so tall,be so and so attractive Let me ask you something, when you look in the mirror,
are you so absolutely attractive, brilliant, rich and baggage free, that you meet a guy's
"dream woman" list?
treeye wrote :
I'm approaching 30, and it seems when i get older, its harder to find someone who's both compatible and have chemistry. well,my bottom line is : chemistry, college education, taller than me (5'-8"), good job, no kids. I don't think that's a very high standard but I'm only matched with about one person every two or three weeks in my city... I don't want to do LDR.

I'm quicker to get emotionally attached than a man does, but I'm not desperate. maybe it's just coz the city I'm in, I'm glad I've to relocate next year.
 
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