Here's the situation: my fiance and I have been together off and on since 1996, more on than off. We have 3 children together. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship. I didn't have any children when we met. Ok, he has asked to marry me for years now but I didn't think he was ready for a full committment and I wanted to finish school before we married. So now that I've finished school, I agreed to set a wedding date for July 2009. Unfortunately, my father passed away in October 2008, so I pushed the date back to October 2009. Then he started acting strange about the wedding plans and told me that he no longer wanted to get married in October but he wanted to wait until later. I also found out that he fathered another child with an ex-girlfriend within the last 3 years. That devestated me when he told me. He told me that he didn't want me to leave him, that's why he never told me. That really hurt me but I told him that we would work through it. So I asked why he wanted to postpone the wedding. He wouldn't give me a reason other than, "I want to be the best husband I can be to you and right now, I won't be able to do it." So, I initially cancelled the wedding plans even though I have bought dresses and paid for reservations. Later, he tells me that he wants to get married next year, 2010, during the spring. So, I change everything to April. He agreed on the changes. Well, next is where advice is needed. We got into an argument about his ex-girlfriend/son's mother and the way she treats him. She curses him out and makes demands and I don't like that. But he insists on being "nice" to her for the sake of his son. Well, during the course of this argument, it was revealed that he has 2 paternity cases pending with 2 OTHER different women from about 4-5 years ago. One child was a DNA match to him and I don't even know about the other one. He told me that he didn't tell me about it to "protect" me and that he knew that by October, he would still be going back and forth to court regarding these cases. He said that he has no contact with one of the mother/child and that the other one only wants child support and nothing else. My heart is with him 100%. My mind is telling me to trust him and let him work out these problems so we can get married in April. His family loves me and my family loves him. It would be a lot to sacrifice for his mistakes. He has helped me financially through school. He helps me with the kids. I don't know what to do. He is a good provider and I feel that he has learned his lesson but I keep worrying about any future "baby-mama drama." Please help!

You have to decide if any of these children happened while you considered yourself in a relationship with him. If the answer is yes, then he cheated. If he cheated once, he'll cheat again and again and again. (Which is what all this sounds like to me.)

Your decision is: Are you willing to accept this behavior because he's never going to change?

Wow,
"Baby Momma" drama is right. So how many kids does he have? I think I counted five. Well first off I would like to say that the foundation to any good relationship is trust. I sounds as if this guy lies and lies and lies, is irresponsible and blames it on "drama" women. Ask yourself what kind of a man denies that he has children. I can understand not wanting to tell you about the women, but to lie about the exisistance of children is horrible. It sounds as if he is a great dad to your kids now,,,but a deadbeat dad to his other chilrdren. How long before he kicks you to the curb and is with a new women making babies with her? And these are the kids you know about! If the courts have to get involved then it is a serious sign that he is irresponsible.
Getting married will not change him, he is who he is. Marriage will not magically make him honest with you. Does he have a job? How can he afford all these kids, the child support payments are gonna be through the roof.
So my recomendation is don't marry him. If he is serious about a relationship with you he would not be denying his kids.He may even have other women on the side right now and denying you and your kids exitence to her.
Sorry to rain on you parade, I don't sugar coat things, but women to women....take care of you and your kids first.
Good luck.

The number of children seems to be between 5 and 8.

8 Being 3 with OP, 2 from previous relationships, 3 from untold relationships.

As much as I dont like the situation, it sounds like you 2 have been together for 13 years. In that time he has been with at lease 3 other women. Tbh sounds like he cant keep things in his pants and that he has more skeletons in the closet in "protecting you" which it sounds more like he is protecting himself and giving you big news letting it settle and moving onto the next devastating thing. When is it going to end?