connie74 is offline connie74 Post #1  July 8,2009, 4:36pm
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In 35 years of life I have never dated any guy that was a mama's boy. Dont get me wrong. I can definitely appreciate a man loving and respecting his mother, but when can it be too much. Towards the end of our relationship I started noticing that his mother got involved with every aspect of his life. She paid his bills, found him employment and still had the final say when it came to his career choice. There were times that we would be engaged in a pretty indepth conversation and as soon as she called I was put on hold.I only met her face to face after we had been dating for a long time and it really blew me away how incontrol of his life she was(she was giving him instructions on washing clothes and how long you can keep a white t shirt) toward the end of our relationship his mother had formed an opinion of me(without taking the time to get to know me) and convinced my ex to end the relationship. She gave a bunch of ridiculous reasons and instead of being honest with her and telling her how much I did for him he just continued to push me away. I left him 3 weeks ago to come back home to florida and bad as the relationship was in the end I want him to realize that he made a huge mistake..I wonder if there is any chance he will..
- Today, 05:35 pm

 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel Post #2  July 9,2009, 11:35am
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I have never been in this situation before, but I have had friends in this situation who have found themselves equally as frustrated. I'm thinking that he's used to living his life this way, he's content, it's easier to go on this way than to rock the boat with his mother, and he's not in a hurry to change anything. Things always worked fine this way before, and they'll continue to work this way as he continues through his life. My concern for him would be when his mother is no longer around to tell him what to do, since he has chosen to passively allow her to call the shots for so long.

As for making him realize he's made a huge mistake, why do you feel the need to do this? It's over, you've moved back home, and he's no longer a part of your life. I know it hurts when it ends, but how will this really benefit you in the long run? If he didn't understand what was happening in the time you were together, and if he didn't realize what was happening as you left him, I'm thinking the chances are slim that he's going to realize it through anything you say or do now that you are gone, especially if his mother has the control over him that you say she does. I would suggest letting him go, letting him live his life the way he chooses to, and moving on to opportunities that are better suited to you.

Best wishes to you.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #3  July 9,2009, 5:38pm
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.....yes, she.....Sweeps past softly, without a sigh.....

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Once again I have to agree with everything The Angel said.

You're moving on (so you say). Forget him. You're not going to get the satisfaction you want there.

If it makes you feel better, try thinking you're leaving him to his sorry life!
 
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AustinShaguar is offline AustinShaguar Post #4  July 9,2009, 6:55pm
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connie74 wrote :
In 35 years of life I have never dated any guy that was a mama's boy. Dont get me wrong. I can definitely appreciate a man loving and respecting his mother, but when can it be too much. Towards the end of our relationship I started noticing that his mother got involved with every aspect of his life. She paid his bills, found him employment and still had the final say when it came to his career choice. There were times that we would be engaged in a pretty indepth conversation and as soon as she called I was put on hold.I only met her face to face after we had been dating for a long time and it really blew me away how incontrol of his life she was(she was giving him instructions on washing clothes and how long you can keep a white t shirt) toward the end of our relationship his mother had formed an opinion of me(without taking the time to get to know me) and convinced my ex to end the relationship. She gave a bunch of ridiculous reasons and instead of being honest with her and telling her how much I did for him he just continued to push me away. I left him 3 weeks ago to come back home to florida and bad as the relationship was in the end I want him to realize that he made a huge mistake..I wonder if there is any chance he will.
I assume he was also 35 years old? If so I would have figured he WOULD ALREADY HAVE A CAREER. Is it just me or is anyone willing to back me up when I say: I wouldn't date a person one more nano-second if their mommy paid the bills. I'm just wondering how it can be that your ex was the one to end the relationship and not you. This in itself tells me a lot. I would agree with the other poster who questioned why you'd be concerned with wanting him to know he made a big mistake. Seems awfully immature in my opinion.
 
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SoOverIt is offline SoOverIt Post #5  July 11,2009, 3:25am
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No. If he is letting his mother influence his life to that degree he will not suddenly now grow some independance just because you are not there. Begone and good riddance because a life with a man attached to apron strings is no life at all. You may as well just move in with his mother and have the relationship with her instead.
Move on with your life and find a man who has some self concept and determination.

Forget about your need to win in this situation. In truth the only winning position is the one you are now in. Completely free of him.
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #6  July 11,2009, 3:42am

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Mama's little boys and Daddy's little girls are all the same.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #7  July 11,2009, 4:25am
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Ditto!.......It's a Headache, not a relationship....
Bandmate wrote :
Mama's little boys and Daddy's little girls are all the same.
 
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singinggirl is offline singinggirl Post #8  July 11,2009, 7:17pm
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Be glad you figured it out now. I married a mama's boy. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, I wasn't her choice which meant that, again not surprisingly, it didn't last.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #9  July 11,2009, 8:05pm

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Count your blessing you could be married to him with momma coming for six month visits at a time. Forget get about it and move on!
You'll never win because mom is there to take your place.

Harvey7.
 
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pchep is offline pchep Post #10  July 12,2009, 6:07pm
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Connie - I am so glad that you have brought this issue up. I married a man and was married to him for sixteen years. Dated four before we were ever married. I did not see any of the signs until I got married so after.
I left my husband last August because he was a momma's boy. I am now divorced from him, which he still cannot believe. He called his mother 24/7 and would tell her everything where we were, what we were doing. He had to get approval from his mother all the time. When I would bring this up to him, he would simply tell me I am just jealous of his mother. Really, I married you so I can be jealous of your mother. I do not suggest to getting involved with a mamma's boy, run the other direction as fast as you can. I did not exist in our marriage until I physically left. Now he wants to be noticed by me and not his mother. It's a little too late.
 
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