Anyone here have experience with open relationships?


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midnightcorridor is offline midnightcorridor Post #1  July 6,2009, 3:10pm
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I'm curious if anyone here has ever been in or is currently in an open and/or polyamorous relationship? If so, have you used eHarmony to date people? And, if so, when and/or how did you reveal your open relationship?

For those who are opposed to open relationships: What is your experience with them, if any? And why are you opposed to them?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #2  July 8,2009, 10:31am
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You are on the wrong site, eHarmony is for one-on-one relationships, find a site that caters to your "style". The women on this site are not looking for players,swingers, "open" etc. They will most likely be offended, as soon as you "reveal" your "style"
midnightcorridor wrote :
I'm curious if anyone here has ever been in or is currently in an open and/or polyamorous relationship? If so, have you used eHarmony to date people? And, if so, when and/or how did you reveal your open relationship?

For those who are opposed to open relationships: What is your experience with them, if any? And why are you opposed to them?
 
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stevex is offline stevex Post #3  July 8,2009, 10:41am
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midnightcorridor wrote :
I'm curious if anyone here has ever been in or is currently in an open and/or polyamorous relationship? If so, have you used eHarmony to date people? And, if so, when and/or how did you reveal your open relationship?

For those who are opposed to open relationships: What is your experience with them, if any? And why are you opposed to them?
While I see nothing wrong with your style, the idea of a swinging relationship is somewhat appealing to me and there are many people that enjoy them and are safe and all is good.

With that said, Wiseman offered some wise words. eHarmony is designed for people looking for their soul mate. The chances of you finding other swingers or men and women interested in dating a swinger on eHarmony seems like it would be very low. Even so I would likely put in your profile that you in an open relationship currently and just looking for sex. You will likely get a lot of people close you on eHarmony though so not worth spending the money on this site for you.

May I suggest CraigsList Casual Encounters? Also sites like OkCupid and PlentyOfFish have the option for "sex partners". You and your girlfriend should look for other swinger groups in your area, in some major cities there are actually swinger clubs and from what I gather the swinger groups hold some very exciting house parties.

Good luck in your search.
 
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VictoriaJ is offline VictoriaJ Post #4  July 8,2009, 10:41am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
You are on the wrong site, eHarmony is for one-on-one relationships, find a site that caters to your "style". The women on this site are not looking for players,swingers, "open" etc. They will most likely be offended, as soon as you "reveal" your "style"
As for using EH to find an open relationship, I agree with Wiseman here. It's really, really not EH's style.

As for open relationships, I was in one once and am acquainted with a number of people who have chosen that lifestyle. I only did it because the man I was in love with would not commit to me--so, I figured, why not? It was disconcerting and felt unnatural to be with one person when I was in love with another. I got the heck out of that relationship and would never do it again.

I should clarify: I'm not judging you here; it's just really not for me, and I wouldn't recommend using EH in your case.
Last edited by VictoriaJ; July 8,2009 at 10:45am.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #5  July 8,2009, 10:58am

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Wiseman2 wrote :
You are on the wrong site, eHarmony is for one-on-one relationships, find a site that caters to your "style". The women on this site are not looking for players,swingers, "open" etc. They will most likely be offended, as soon as you "reveal" your "style"
you mean... all those people on eha that were dating numerous people at the same time while yelling that its all a "numbers game" are now gone from here?
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #6  July 8,2009, 11:22am
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txbubba wrote :
you mean... all those people on eha that were dating numerous people at the same time while yelling that its all a "numbers game" are now gone from here?
What makes you think or assume that they are in sexual relationships with multiple partners?
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #7  July 8,2009, 2:01pm
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txbubba wrote :
you mean... all those people on eha that were dating numerous people at the same time while yelling that its all a "numbers game" are now gone from here?
Nope, they're still here. I don't think dating multiple people means the same thing as open relationship.

I think the definition of open relationship is a separation of the physical and the emotional aspect of a relationship. When several people can divest themselves of the physical component yet retain the emotional part with a specific someone. Thats when an open relationship occurs.

Now, personally, I think this setup is very much like the friends with benefits scenario. The fact that you are dealing with several different people, always means you are dealing with separate views and emotions. It can work if everyone is on the same page, but when you throw intimacies and sex around, its way too easy for someone to get off that page and hence problems begin to arise.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #8  July 8,2009, 2:04pm

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neardc wrote :
What makes you think or assume that they are in sexual relationships with multiple partners?
where did i say they were in a 'sexual' relationship?
 
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VictoriaJ is offline VictoriaJ Post #9  July 8,2009, 9:05pm
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txbubba wrote :
where did i say they were in a 'sexual' relationship?
That's what a polyamorous or open relationship is, Bubba: having sex with more than one partner with the full knowledge and consent of all involved.

To the OP: see, a lot of people on EH might not even know what you're talking about!
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #10  July 8,2009, 9:18pm

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VictoriaJ wrote :
As for using EH to find an open relationship, I agree with Wiseman here. It's really, really not EH's style.

As for open relationships, I was in one once and am acquainted with a number of people who have chosen that lifestyle. I only did it because the man I was in love with would not commit to me--so, I figured, why not? It was disconcerting and felt unnatural to be with one person when I was in love with another. I got the heck out of that relationship and would never do it again.

I should clarify: I'm not judging you here; it's just really not for me, and I wouldn't recommend using EH in your case.
VictoriaJ.,

Is your being a swinger akin to Bill Clinton's smoking pot and not really enjoying because he wasn't inhaling it? or Never having sexual intercourse with Monica Lew. just Cigars among friends?

Harvey7.
 
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