TiffanyDiamond is offline TiffanyDiamond Post #31  September 13,2009, 9:15am
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is so in love!!

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[quote=bigfincat;737365]
TiffanyDiamond wrote :

Moving in together is not always THAT huge of a step. It doesn't mean that you are getting married & neither does "I love you".
I understand what you're saying bigfincat. For some people moving in is not that big of a step and that's OK-to each his own. It just sounds to me like OP wants more from this relationship than she is getting and maybe I'm wrong, but I felt that her way to move things along was to get this guy to move in.
 
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pixie11 is offline pixie11 Post #32  October 15,2009, 6:36am
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Well here is the update to my situation.

I did, in fact, speak with him about the way he had corrected his friend. It was upsetting me, and I felt it was insulting in front of his friends. The way that we feel about each other is our own private business, and it does not need to be explicitly aired in front of our friends. He did apologize and say he didn't actually remember saying it, as he'd been drinking quite a lot that evening. (No, he doesn't have an alcohol problem - people can indulge on occasion without it being a problem.) However, he did apologize for this lapse and promised never to say anything like that again.

And as to the main part of my question...
All you naysayers can just shut your traps!!! My man loves me, and he told me so. He even opened up and just said that he's not used to being emotional and he's not going to be able to say it all the time to me, but I should always know that he feels it. And I do.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #33  October 15,2009, 7:34am
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Often I read comments, from men usually, that they are not mind readers, that we women need to make it clear what we want, what we mean, what we need. If we are interested - show it, no games. And while a totally agree; it is a two way street. Women are not mind readers either. If the OP's boyfriend was constantly saying 'like' then I would assume he meant 'like' and I think he is very lucky that she hung in there so long. I'd have been gone around month number three if not way sooner. No one wants to watch their life go by waiting in a state of limbo for someone else to figure out what they want. What is the worst thing that can happen if you tell someone you love them? You can lose them sooner than you would have if you kept you mouth shut. Best to get it over with quickly and waste less of the only life you get. OP - I think you are extremely patient and loving and I hope your boyfriend knows what a wonderful deal he is getting. Good luck.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #34  October 15,2009, 4:38pm
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pixie11 wrote :
Well here is the update to my situation.

I did, in fact, speak with him about the way he had corrected his friend. It was upsetting me, and I felt it was insulting in front of his friends. The way that we feel about each other is our own private business, and it does not need to be explicitly aired in front of our friends. He did apologize and say he didn't actually remember saying it, as he'd been drinking quite a lot that evening. (No, he doesn't have an alcohol problem - people can indulge on occasion without it being a problem.) However, he did apologize for this lapse and promised never to say anything like that again.

And as to the main part of my question...
All you naysayers can just shut your traps!!! My man loves me, and he told me so. He even opened up and just said that he's not used to being emotional and he's not going to be able to say it all the time to me, but I should always know that he feels it. And I do.
Good for you! Glad to see it all worked out!
 
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chopaface is offline chopaface Post #35  February 19,2010, 5:52pm
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women just have to climb over a steep hill to get the man they want. men have to climb over a mountain to get the woman they want. - chinese proverb

stop "chasing" him with affection, let him lead on, he will eventually say it through time and when the moment is RIGHT for him.

If he wants to engage in sex with you and you do not feel comfortable in it, DO YOU STILL HAVE SEX? You're emotionally raping him.

men needs to eat more salt than rice to truly know who they want to be with. women can season his meal with a lot of salt, which can get dangerous to his health. Don't overdo the salt, otherwise he will have high blood pressure and just might not make it to the wedding day. - my mother's chinese proverb of saying, "I am more wise than you, more older, therefore you should respect my advice to you."
 
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dbz77 is offline dbz77 Post #36  March 11,2011, 8:36am
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Maybe he does not want to live with you unless he marries you.
 
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LovelyLinda04 is offline LovelyLinda04 Post #37  March 12,2011, 12:36pm

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pixie11 wrote :
Well here is the update to my situation.

I did, in fact, speak with him about the way he had corrected his friend. It was upsetting me, and I felt it was insulting in front of his friends. The way that we feel about each other is our own private business, and it does not need to be explicitly aired in front of our friends. He did apologize and say he didn't actually remember saying it, as he'd been drinking quite a lot that evening. (No, he doesn't have an alcohol problem - people can indulge on occasion without it being a problem.) However, he did apologize for this lapse and promised never to say anything like that again.

And as to the main part of my question...
All you naysayers can just shut your traps!!! My man loves me, and he told me so. He even opened up and just said that he's not used to being emotional and he's not going to be able to say it all the time to me, but I should always know that he feels it. And I do.

Why ask the questions, if you don't really want to hear the answers including the ones that you disagree with?
You outline his faults in advance and then you also present a valid reason for his short comings. I will list an explicit example:

"I did, in fact, speak with him about the way he had corrected his friend. It was upsetting me, and I felt it was insulting in front of his friends. The way that we feel about each other is our own private business, and it does not need to be explicitly aired in front of our friends. He did apologize and say he didn't actually remember saying it, as he'd been drinking quite a lot that evening." (No, he doesn't have an alcohol problem - people can indulge on occasion without it being a problem.) Understand it now?

What is missing? When you love someone you develop a sixth sense with them about their feelings and different levels of sensitivity and especially with regards putting them down in front of your or his friends. It's called respect for your feelings. You can't teach or buy it, that is why you call it love! Recall the Beatles song: "You Can't buy me love", say the words now tell me what it means?

When pressed by American journalists in 1966 to reveal the song's "true" meaning, McCartney stated that "I think you can put any interpretation you want on anything, but when someone suggests that 'Can't Buy Me Love' is He went on to say: "The idea behind it was that all these material possessions are all very well, but they won't buy me what I really want." What does he want? "My boyfriend immediately HALTED the conversation and interrupted this friend to correct him and say, "Whoa there, not love, LIKE. LIKE." I found it rather disturbing actually, that he needed to make such a point of correcting the word "love".

Trust what you heard and trust your feelings. He does not love you, but he likes all the things that you do for him, like giving him credit for half of our new deck! Why did make sense for him to move in with you? Recently, after he had lost his job, we decided it made sense financially to move in together. It just seemed practical. Does it really? Has he gotten a new job and has he repaid you back yet?

With everything that you've done for him he still has not developed that sixth sense for the emotional needs of the women, who is the love of his life!

The Bird in the gilded cage is another sad story like yours, except she opened the cage door of the gilded cage and told him to fly away! Do you have the strength to do so as well?

I was not trying to hurt your feelings like the other naysayers just trying to show you a reality check.

L.L.
Last edited by LovelyLinda04; March 12,2011 at 12:55pm.
 
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