attraction when your older


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kat5560 is offline kat5560 Post #1  June 30,2009, 11:35am
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i started a thread last night. the (how attractted were you to your wife) one.
i had a another thought about the subject but did not want to include it in the other thread and change the direction of that thread.

if having a high attraction to a mate is so very important (which i beleive it is),, is there an age where it no longer becomes so important to either the man or the women?

here is why i ask. as people get divorced, widowed, ect, they are back into the dating pool. they are looking a partner to feel so good with just like everyone else. but if a women is looking for a man to be highly attractted to her and a man is looking for a women he can be highly attractted to,, then how likely is that if you are older?

ok, so picture this.. 60 year old man meets 60 year old women. can you picture him sitting there admiring her and saying to himself "i am so strongly attracted to her!! or visa vera.... with a 60 year old women with wrinkles and getting kind of older looking and so not so good looking anymore,, can she expect a man to look at her at that age and be thinking he is so highly attractted to her?

i am getting up there in that age bracket so it is a scary thing. i would imagine that even the person you are with would not feel that high attraction he did when you were younger and prettier,,, so i would think it would be even harder if your out in the dating world. so what do you do if your getting at an age that rashonally you can not expect someone to feel a really strong attraction to you like when you were younger and hot looking.

so then what?? do you give up on love and relationship becuase you know you wont find that with someone again at that age? do you decide it is not so important anymore,,, and if you do that then how would a women ever feel that wonderful feeling of knowing a man has a high attraction to her? (or worse, feel the hurt feeling of knowing he is not).

geez i hate getting old
Last edited by kat5560; June 30,2009 at 11:40am.
 
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waltercl is offline waltercl Post #2  June 30,2009, 11:56am
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How old are you? I would think attraction is still very important (at least to men) into their 60's and probably 70's.
 
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tjlpd is offline tjlpd Post #3  June 30,2009, 12:03pm
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Good question. Struggling with this myself. I am 41.

ETA: I feel attractive. However, men who are attractive seem to go for younger women or only after the perfect 10s. I do not need a 10 but I do not want a 60 yo or someone who looks or acts like they are that old.
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #4  June 30,2009, 12:10pm
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I believe the attraction will be there. It'll be in the eyes of the person when you look at them, the eyes expresses a lot and you see the person as she/he is inside and the outside will follow.
Dang, it's hard to explain but I hope you get what I mean.
 
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j0hn8andy is offline j0hn8andy Post #5  June 30,2009, 12:15pm
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It is true that as you get older, the things you look for in a mate will change. Character, for one, will move up front & center. That's a good thing!

A couple just bought the house next door. Mid 60s, maybe. Both widowers, as am I. They hope to marry in August in their new home. There are a world of possibilities out there.

Having been widowed, married to the finest man I ever knew, I am unlikely to pick a man who would give me less than I had. It would besmirch the memory I have of a love that made my heart sing.

I do believe I have the power to attract to me what I want. So if I have the confidence to believe that I am attractive, good personality, great sense of humor, loads of fun in my life, what's not to like, love & want?

I think we become who we think we are. I don't know how old you are (55-60?) but I do know you won't get what you want by giving up or not expecting to get it! Especially because of age.

I wouldn't be any younger than I am. There are alot of good things about being who you are, where you are, right here, right now! You just have to believe in yourself.
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molly_and_me is offline molly_and_me Post #6  June 30,2009, 12:16pm
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Of course attraction is important at any age. Forgive me....I have to just say loudly "Good Grief"!! I am 59 and I certainly don't feel old and wrinkly...I am very young for my age.

I think you have to define 'attraction', what does that mean to you. Obviously, we have to first be physically attracted but then there's the chemistry. It's a meeting of the eyes, an appreciation of a smile, sharing a sense of humor, interesting conversation....all of those plus many more add to the attraction of another person. As we age, we can't just give up and say....well I don't look like "insert name" therefore I'm no longer attractive. We have to accept that 'yes' I'm no longer 21 and I can't look that way any longer....but I can look as good as possible for someone my age.

Remember...age is just a number and there are plenty of stories on both Eharmony and elsewhere of people in the 50's and older who find the love of their lives. You just have to believe and keep that bounce in your step and that smile on your face and that helps to make you attractive.
 
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jcd1968 is offline jcd1968 Post #7  June 30,2009, 12:38pm
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As we get older, our opinions of what is physically attractive change.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #8  June 30,2009, 1:13pm
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I recall a (very handsome) friend of mine who was in his 50s at the time telling me that when he was younger he never imagined that he would find women that age attractive. Surprise! He now found them plenty attractive...

The point being that we just tune into attractiveness differently as we age. It feels the same; just looks different...lol!
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #9  June 30,2009, 1:34pm
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neardc wrote :
I recall a (very handsome) friend of mine who was in his 50s at the time telling me that when he was younger he never imagined that he would find women that age attractive. Surprise! He now found them plenty attractive...

The point being that we just tune into attractiveness differently as we age. It feels the same; just looks different...lol!
I like that! When I was 20, I was attracted to guys like Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Brendan Fraser ("pretty boys," you might say).

Now, at nearly 32, I like men with more character, a few laugh lines, even some scruff! Heck, bald is s.exy now!

So, yes, it feels the same, but looks different.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #10  June 30,2009, 1:44pm
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Please don't generalize. Not all guys want to baby sit. I think Christey Brinkley is still hot
tjlpd wrote :
Good question. Struggling with this myself. I am 41.

ETA: I feel attractive. However, men who are attractive seem to go for younger women or only after the perfect 10s. I do not need a 10 but I do not want a 60 yo or someone who looks or acts like they are that old.
 
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