single mom.....will I ever find the one?


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ktxmom is offline ktxmom Post #21  June 26,2009, 10:42pm
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D_Lion wrote :
Did this person not know that you had children?

This should be disclosed in your profile (of course, if you’re meeting in person, you have to decide when to disclose.) If you didn’t have it in your profile, some people will consider that deception.

Some portion of men will not date a woman with children, others want to. In between are a portion who take each partner on a case-by-case basis. That group (which I’m assuming is the largest), you can work on influencing their decisions with careful strategy.
Yes he knew very well that I had kids
 
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ktxmom is offline ktxmom Post #22  June 26,2009, 10:44pm
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Thank you to everyone else for the kind comments..
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #23  June 27,2009, 5:01am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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A lot of us are in the same boat. Good luck to you
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #24  June 27,2009, 5:45am

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When_I_See_You_Smile wrote :
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Did you happen to notice in the Op's post where she judged the maturity of the man in his 40s she was seeing...single parents in their frustration often do exactly what they accuse others of doing...it is not immature for a man in his 40s to not want to raise another man's children or take on that responsability...women walk for all kinds of reasons and usualy will accept no judgement for those reasons....it work's or should work both ways....dating a single parent is a personal choice not a duty or a public service.
 
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estee is offline estee Post #25  June 27,2009, 6:19am
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i personally will say, patience is the first thing and your kids still should remain your top priority. my girlfriend who used to be single with three kids from two diffrent guys did had a tough time at the begining dating guys, most time they did take an advantage of her alot, but later she did really meet a nice caring middle age elderly man on a dating site who also had kids befor and she lives together with the man and her kids, and of course he did accept her kids like his own.

just be patience and dont compromise the love you have for your kids, although its difficult to find a single man who will accept a single mother with three kids. but still, you are young and there is still a lot of chance of you meeting with a nice caring single father who also will want his kids to be loved and accpted.
 
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ktxmom is offline ktxmom Post #26  June 27,2009, 8:08am
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Bandmate wrote :
Did you happen to notice in the Op's post where she judged the maturity of the man in his 40s she was seeing...single parents in their frustration often do exactly what they accuse others of doing...it is not immature for a man in his 40s to not want to raise another man's children or take on that responsability...women walk for all kinds of reasons and usualy will accept no judgement for those reasons....it work's or should work both ways....dating a single parent is a personal choice not a duty or a public service.
It's immature though how he handled it. He could have done a lot of things differently
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #27  June 27,2009, 8:23am
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Happy New Year, Everyone! :)

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When_I_See_You_Smile wrote :
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When_I_See_You_Smile wrote :
ktxmom,

Even though you're frustrated right now, please don't give up. You may just be meeting men who aren't willing or able to take on a family. Plus, men in your age group, may not be ready yet for any kind of commitment.

As with all things, though, there are always exceptions to the rule. There are men out there who would love to meet someone like you, a strong woman who has a loving heart, and is a good mother. Sometimes, you just have to wait for the right person.

I do agree that you could be looking for love, in all the wrong places. Are you currently a member of eH? As others have mentioned, try participating in groups that involve single parents. Also, seek out opportunities to enjoy your favorite activities (try meetup.com).

Be patient. It will happen, maybe when you least expect it.

Best of luck to you!

WISYS
Bandmate wrote :
Did you happen to notice in the Op's post where she judged the maturity of the man in his 40s she was seeing...single parents in their frustration often do exactly what they accuse others of doing...it is not immature for a man in his 40s to not want to raise another man's children or take on that responsability...women walk for all kinds of reasons and usualy will accept no judgement for those reasons....it work's or should work both ways....dating a single parent is a personal choice not a duty or a public service.
Bandmate,

The comments I directed to DIVISION have nothing to do with judging the maturity of a man in his 40's.

The OP is 28 years old. Of course, she's going to hope that someone in his 40's would be more mature and understanding about her situation, vs. a 28 year old man who may not even be ready for a long term relationship, let alone a ready made family.

No one is blaming this man for walking away; clearly, he was not willing or able to follow through with a relationship here. That's okay. It just means he's not the right guy for her.

The OP was simply venting. She's frustrated because she's not meeting men who are open to her unique situation. Does that give anyone here the right to belittle her, or make her feel badly about her chances for success?

NO!

"...dating a single parent is a personal choice not a duty or a public service"

Again, no one ever said dating a single parent was a duty or a public service. Any man who feels that way, should most definitely stay away from single mothers.

Please note that in my response to the OP, I was actually trying to be helpful.

You might try a little compassion next time, Bandmate.

WISYS
 
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aingr is offline aingr Post #28  July 4,2009, 12:54pm
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Hi

From my experience so far on eh, and from reading posts. Men that are not willing to date single moms assume that we are all the same. Mostly that I wont have anytime for them so they dont even bother answering my first set of questions. Lucky for me I have my parents that are willing to stay with my kids so I can go out. I want to find someone to spend time with but so far I havent had that chance yet. I am not expecting the men I meet or date to take on the responsibility of fathering my children. They have a father, he happens to live in a different state but he is still their father. And they have my brother for a stable male figure in their lives. If the relationship got as far as marriage then yes I would want him to help me with my children, but before that no. I am just hurt that no one has even met me before assuming all this.
 
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Bandmate is offline Bandmate Post #29  July 4,2009, 2:19pm

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When_I_See_You_Smile wrote :
Bandmate,

The comments I directed to DIVISION have nothing to do with judging the maturity of a man in his 40's.

The OP is 28 years old. Of course, she's going to hope that someone in his 40's would be more mature and understanding about her situation, vs. a 28 year old man who may not even be ready for a long term relationship, let alone a ready made family.

No one is blaming this man for walking away; clearly, he was not willing or able to follow through with a relationship here. That's okay. It just means he's not the right guy for her.

The OP was simply venting. She's frustrated because she's not meeting men who are open to her unique situation. Does that give anyone here the right to belittle her, or make her feel badly about her chances for success?

NO!

"...dating a single parent is a personal choice not a duty or a public service"

Again, no one ever said dating a single parent was a duty or a public service. Any man who feels that way, should most definitely stay away from single mothers.

Please note that in my response to the OP, I was actually trying to be helpful.

You might try a little compassion next time, Bandmate.

WISYS

Ok...i want to vent to...i'm 48 and can't find a woman over 45 who isn't fat or gives a rip about what she looks like....ok....i'll wait for the compassion on that one.
 
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When_I_See_You_Smile is offline When_I_See_You_Smile Post #30  July 4,2009, 3:21pm
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Happy New Year, Everyone! :)

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Bandmate wrote :
Ok...i want to vent to...i'm 48 and can't find a woman over 45 who isn't fat or gives a rip about what she looks like....ok....i'll wait for the compassion on that one.
LOL! Bandmate, you can vent any time you would like.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a woman who cares about what she looks like. I do hope that you find what you're looking for.

WISYS
 
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