Is it pointless to stay around?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
SinSyn is offline SinSyn Post #1  June 14,2009, 3:39pm
SinSyn's Avatar

Joined: Jun 2009

Washington, USA

Posts: 2

See profile

I've been with the same guy for almost 2 years now.
About half of the relationship was spent long distance, about a 2-3 hour commute. Sometimess we'd only see eachother everyother weekend to a month.

Talking on the phone was the only real connection I had to him sometimes, and over time he started to hate talking on the phone.

He even voiced he was tired of commuting.

At the time, I hadn't had a job and was still going to school. It was rare for me to come into any kind of money but I still managed to save up a bit and use it towards taking a ferry and a bus just to go see him. I feel naive now, cause I had made him my life.

Over the span of the relationship, there was a single girl I had grown uncomfortable about. Simply put; he used to have feelings for her and tried very hard to see her. I recently found out that he had gone behind my back a few times just to "hang out."

Now, he's a hardcore gamer and I too played some games. But sometimes I wanted some time to hang out with him, without them. It was difficult to have him find that time for me, but he had stopped for her.


Twice in the relationship he decided he didn't know if he actually loved me, and decided to stop saying it.

And a third time, when I was sick and worried over my dad being in the hospital....we got into an argument because I needed to talk to him for support. He decided the argument was too much for him, and a year into the relationship, ended it.

A month later he came to me saying he was willing to try it again, and I accepted.

But I had grown bitter and distant because of the strain and emotional damage the relationship had done to me.

I still tried to be all there though, even considering.

At a point, it felt as if he decided to say "I love you." again, just to keep me around.

And later, I had found disscussions and hearsay from friends that he was only in the relationship cause he was afraid he wouldn't find someone else anytime soon, and he enjoys sex so much.


I had decided we go on a break recently to figure things out.
I just don't know if its worth it anymore.


Even my dad has said how he hates the way he treats me infront of him....and how my friends treat me better.

And its true, soemtimes I'm happier with my friends. But it can be hard.
 
  Reply With Quote
D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  June 15,2009, 2:37pm
D_Lion's Avatar

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

NJ

Posts: 30,743

See profile

And ...

You already know what to do, right?
 
  Reply With Quote
MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #3  June 15,2009, 3:11pm
MelinCali's Avatar

is moving!

Power Poster

Joined: Nov 2008

Earth

Posts: 8,113

See profile

Since I see no questions in the OP, I'll just answer the title.

Yes, it is pointless to stay around. Stop saving all your money to spend on being his booty call. He is making you look like a fool and you deserve better than that.
 
  Reply With Quote
wishamee is offline wishamee Post #4  June 15,2009, 3:29pm
wishamee's Avatar

has really enjoyed touring her State this summer.

Pacesetter

Joined: Dec 2008

PA

Posts: 260

See profile

You are one step closer to finding a better guy, right? Don't go backwards. You'll get through this breakup which SHOULD probably happen asap.
 
  Reply With Quote
logicalmind is offline logicalmind Post #5  June 15,2009, 4:23pm
logicalmind's Avatar

is over-analyzing life as usual

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

jacksonville florida

Posts: 47

See profile

the pain of breaking up lasts only a short time. do not let that stop you from seeking someone who will cherish and love you like you deserve. i can tell from reading your post that you are intelligent and articulate. use that brain of yours girl, and do not let your fears keep you in this bad relationship any longer.
 
  Reply With Quote
brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  June 15,2009, 5:08pm
brneyedangel's Avatar

would very much appreciate it if the rain would stop, now! Thanks!

Volunteer Community Leader

Joined: May 2009

northeast Ohio

Posts: 4,590

See profile

It sounds from the way you've worded what you've said that you already know what to do but just need some affirmation that it is the correct decision. I agree what everyone here has said. You know this situation isn't making you happy, as does your family. You've given it a second chance, and nothing seems better than it was before. You deserve to be happy. I'd walk away from this one.
 
  Reply With Quote
DyannaLynn is offline DyannaLynn Post #7  June 15,2009, 5:28pm
DyannaLynn's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2009

Thunder Bay, Ontario

Posts: 8

See profile

I have been in nearly the exact same situation. Don't put more into the long distance relationship than he is willing to put in. And don't settle for less than what you put in. Therefore, it's time to move on. You are stonger than you think, especially if you have been surving the long distance and the commute this long. Take that strength and apply it elsewhere, like school, the rest will come.
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #8  June 16,2009, 12:08am

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

Yes, I have to agree with you it's a waste of your time. He is immature and has an ego centric personality, but the worst thing is that he treats you badly!

Re-read your post, but this time understand you get nothing returned to you as a friend. I would not speak to him again because he has the ability to pull the wool over your eyes by lying to you and you want to believe him!

Harvey7.
 
  Reply With Quote
stevex is offline stevex Post #9  June 16,2009, 2:52pm
stevex's Avatar

Life is a blessing, it's a delicatessen.

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Austin, TX

Posts: 1,297

See profile

Just remember, if you are ever in a relationship where you are not 100% satisfied than you shouldn't stick around. If you are unable to talk to him and get him to understand the issues and if he is unable to change (and that is how it sounds) than it is best to leave him behind.

That is a very hard thing to do, and you will be online and hurt for awhile... However, you are a cute girl and a nicer guy will come along.
 
  Reply With Quote
angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #10  June 16,2009, 5:31pm
angelofmerci's Avatar

loves the feel of the wind blowing in his face while riding the curves

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,302

See profile

SinSyn,

Reading your post it is easy to tell that you are an intelligent person. As such I see someone although still quite young who has the insight and experience to recognize when things are wrong with a relationship and who is strong enough to survive a breakup. No matter how hard this breakup will be on you, know that in the end you will come out better for it and alot happier. Seek out your friends and family for support during these times. You have done everything you can to try to salvage this relationship. It is definitely time to move on. Good Luck
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 2
  • 1
  • 2


« Please help… I need to know if I am being unreasonable… | Relationships | Trust issues »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Am I the wrong one? Should I stay or just call it a day? living_in_a_dream Ask a Dating Expert 3 June 6,2009 8:52pm
Indecisive and Frustrated - Should I Go or Stay? LadyDi10 Relationships 12 May 15,2009 8:53pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:50am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0