crises069 is offline crises069 Post #1  June 9,2009, 3:40pm
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So I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago because I just needed some time to reflect and haven't talked to her since. I tried communicating with her and she rejected all my communication efforts. To be honest and as sad as it is to admit it, even though its been a year and a half, I'm still not over her. I just found out yesterday she has a boyfriend and I'm completely heartbroken. I want her back so bad yet I know it's over. My head says move on but my heart can't. Any advice?
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #2  June 9,2009, 4:25pm
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It doesn't sound like you need any advice on the situation...your thought process on this is correct. Think back on why you felt you needed to end the relationship. If that reason was valid, then you shouldn't beat yourself up for it; it was the right thing for you at the time. For all you know, you could have ignored your feelings on the matter, stayed in the relationship, and had it end anyway.

The way you feel right now is perfectly understandable. But at this point she has moved on, and if you care for her you should respect that. At the same time, you shouldn't try to get into another serious relationship until you are over your feelings for your ex. I wish you the best.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  June 9,2009, 4:47pm
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What you are experiencing is pretty normal unfortunately. A lot of time has passed and you are feeling lonely. You are focusing on all the good parts of your past relationship and forgetting the bad, including the reasons why it did not work out. Well, those reason are still there so try and remember them. It will help you move on. Above all else, get busy and start seeing other people yourself and move on so you don't focus on the past so much.
 
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crises069 is offline crises069 Post #4  June 9,2009, 4:58pm
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Is it normal though to not be over someone after a year and a half? That's what freaks me out the most
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #5  June 9,2009, 6:11pm
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A year and a half is a long time to think about an ex, no doubt, but there is no rule for how long it takes to get over a previous relationship. It's not uncommon for divorcees, for example, to deliberate over a breakup a few years before getting out into the dating scene again. Take as long as you need before you start dating again.
 
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PricelessAdvice is offline PricelessAdvice Post #6  June 9,2009, 6:35pm
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Tricky situation since you did not go into details as to why you broke up in the first place. So, my advice would be to think back to that time that you decided to end it, was it worth it? If it was than understand that people don't usually change and if they do it is mostly likely than not for a different person. She has a boyfriend now, what choice do you really have besides to move on? It is definitely not an easy process, but keep yourself as busy as possible to prevent the thoughts from pouring in. Good luck.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #7  June 9,2009, 6:40pm
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crises069 wrote :
So I broke up with my ex a year and a half ago because I just needed some time to reflect and haven't talked to her since. I tried communicating with her and she rejected all my communication efforts. To be honest and as sad as it is to admit it, even though its been a year and a half, I'm still not over her. I just found out yesterday she has a boyfriend and I'm completely heartbroken. I want her back so bad yet I know it's over. My head says move on but my heart can't. Any advice?
A guy who quits talking to a woman because he "needs some time to reflect" and then expects her to be sitting around waiting for her a year and a half later has some serious growing up to do! Sorry to be harsh, but you made this bed, now you get to sleep in it. You're just now feeling the pain you put her through... which is a GOOD thing! Next time you break up with someone, make certain that's what you want to do, because there are rarely second chances in love relationships.

Quit obsessing over her and find something else to fill your thoughts and time. Your heart will eventually follow your head in moving on.
 
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crises069 is offline crises069 Post #8  June 10,2009, 3:13am
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Wonderwoman402 wrote :
A guy who quits talking to a woman because he "needs some time to reflect" and then expects her to be sitting around waiting for her a year and a half later has some serious growing up to do! Sorry to be harsh, but you made this bed, now you get to sleep in it. You're just now feeling the pain you put her through... which is a GOOD thing! Next time you break up with someone, make certain that's what you want to do, because there are rarely second chances in love relationships.

Quit obsessing over her and find something else to fill your thoughts and time. Your heart will eventually follow your head in moving on.
sounds like what I did happened to you.
 
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estee is offline estee Post #9  June 10,2009, 4:39am
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OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART THE MOUTH SPEAKETH!......Your reply to,..... wonderwoman402 certainly answer the same "Stupid Way" you broke up with your ex-girlfriend.

After all, you didnt even give a particular reason why you broke up with your ex,..you are now asking people on how to get your ex-girlfriend back who you lost through "Your Own Stupid" choice or descion that you made.

according to wonderwoman402,..probably you did really need some time to reflect and expect her o be sitting around and waiting for you (Mr. Brad Pit)!.......but too late lol,..she has moved on to the greener zone, while you sit there all by yourself and lament over your "Poor Descion".
my advice to you is to simply move on with your lonely live and learn not to take an advantage of people, and also not to be "rude" when you are being corrected!................
 
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IcecreamMoon is offline IcecreamMoon Post #10  June 10,2009, 7:17am
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Unfortunately we do not get a lot of second chances in life. But we can learn from our mistakes and make sure we do not repeat them in the future.

Your 'heart' is actually also in your head. Use that energy towards something poductive (work, hobby, a project). When you concentrate on something you really enjoy doing, you will find yourself thinking of her less and less.

There is no set timeframe for this. Everyone is different. Take your time.
 
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