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The1Tomcat The1Tomcat is offline
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Who should pay for your mistake?...you of course. She will be done with rebound guy soon, she got rid of you after you cheated on her, didn't she?, so she'll have the strength to get rid of him too. So don't worry...She does know what she's doing.
Wow... people don't take the time to read properly.

He stated that he cheated, true...
they broke up, true...
time passed, true...
they had started a friends relationship, true...
new guy is potentially setting up for an abusive relationship, true...
OP is concerned about ex-girlfriend, true

Just because he cheated doesn't mean he stopped caring about his ex-girlfriend on a basic human level.

Take out the "ex" part and replace with "friend" and now what is your advice?

New question - How do you tell your friend she is with a loser?

All same points in OP's post stay the same, new guy is cutting friend off from friends and family... how do you approach the friend when you can't approach the friend?

Read deeper people... the OP is still a human being with feelings and love for pete's sakes. Like someone once said, "Whomever among you is without sin, cast the first stone."
- June 21st, 2009, 10:37 am
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dreamingartist dreamingartist is offline
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you should not be friends with a EX. yah, she could have a abusive new boyfriend, but guess who's fault it is that you have to warn her. Yours. why? because if you never called her EVER AGAIN, never put yourself in this situation, then you wouldn't have to think about it, nor would it be your responsibility to act on it. And to say your not obsessing about it, BS. your on a forum asking advice. you obviously are consumed enough to have to think about it and figure it out. Here is what you do. MOVE ON DUDE. wow! grow some and find a new girl and stop acting like its your responsibility because you dated for 2 years. If you never talked to her again then you wouldn't have to deal with this right now, and if she got killed or something bad happened, you probably wouldn't even know. out of sight, out of mind.

What happens when you are married (if) and you have a wife and you are like.. oh honey, i can't make dinner, i have to go be friends with my EX GF, I have to go give her advice and console her and listen to her issues. seriously! grow up! you need to take care of yourself and HEAL. you obviously haven't gotten 100% over this and its your civic duty now to protect her because you dropped the ball in the first place!

you cheated, she moved on, you need to move on. stop trying to fix your mistakes. because guess what! your making ANOTHER one by being around her STILL.
- June 23rd, 2009, 02:26 pm
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Atothe Atothe is offline
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Just tell her, without actually saying it...break it down in the simplest terms...explain to her that she deserves much better.
- June 25th, 2009, 07:14 am
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judzz judzz is offline
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dnoc12 wrote :
I just don't want her stuck with this guy, but I know I can't say anything, he rown parents can't say anything because she gets mad, and won't talk ot them if they do. I just don't know what to do
Hi dnoc12
You'll need to decide whether you really want to get this girl back as your girlfriend or not. Judging from the way you write about things you are gutted you cheated on her and as a result she did the same to you (although you weren't in a relationship anymore). So make up your mind and if you confess your love to her and she rejects you, cut all ties and don't hope she might come back to you - just move on!
- June 27th, 2009, 03:56 am
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People_Talk_2009 People_Talk_2009 is offline
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You don't, you mind your own business.
- June 27th, 2009, 04:28 am
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CartertheWriter CartertheWriter is offline
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Actually, it is no longer your concern.
- June 30th, 2009, 01:16 pm
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copperlime copperlime is offline
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if you haven't told her he's a loser, tell her once. Maybe even tell her about the potential abuse and give her a good resource so she can decide, and then drop it. She has to decide for herself. Your silence about it after mentioning it once will speak waaay more than nagging her and always being there for her - you'll show her you really disagree with who she's with and that you're not going to be there to support it.

and from experience - don't give emotional advice/seek emotional advice from an ex. Dreamingartist's comment might seem kinda harsh, but it's so true. I dated a guy who was constantly either there for his ex or going to his ex for advice about our relationship and I hated it, and it was the only reason I left him after two years.
- July 1st, 2009, 09:13 pm
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