Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

Relationships Relationships: they have their ups and their downs. Share your joy or weather the storm in this discussion board.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
VALIENTE VALIENTE is offline
VALIENTE's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Jun 2009

Posts: 1

See profile

HEY IM NEW HERE JUST WANTED SOME ADVICE.
MY HUSBANDS BROTHER IS IN TOWN SO THEY SPENT THE LAST 5-7 DAYS DRINKING ALCHOHL AT HIS MOMS HOUSE MY HOUSE AND ANY OTHER HOUSE THAT WILL ALLOW THEM TO. HE GETS HOME AT 1-2 IN THE AM NOT EVEN A CALL AND WHEN I DO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM HE BLOWS ME OFF AND SAYS HE IS NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG HANGS UP WHEN I REDIAL HE HAS TURNED OFF HIS PHONE WELL YESTERDAY I INFORMED HIM I AM NOT RUNNING A HOTEL AND HE CANNOT STAY OUT LATE HE REMINDED HIM HE HAS A FAMILY TO SPENT TIME WITH TOO . SO LAST NIGHT I WAS FED UP TOOK BOTH HIS AND HIS BROTHERS SUITCASES OUT AND LOCKED HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE. I HATE THAT HE DRINKS AND AM WILLING TO COMPROMISE IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS BUT ON SAT THEY HAD BEER WITH THIER BREAKFAST AND DIDENT STOP UNTILL MIDNIGHT. HE NEVER ACTED THIS WAY UNTILL HIS BROTHER ARRIVED. WAS I TOO HARSH?
- June 3rd, 2009, 04:03 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
angelofmerci angelofmerci is offline
angelofmerci's Avatar

angelofmerci loves the feel of the wind blowing in his face while riding the curves

Veteran

Join Date: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,304

See profile

I am sorry you find yourself in this sad situation. I do not think you were too harsh. I do think you are married to an inconsiderate child though. No responsible married adult goes on an alcoholic benge like this, it just is not the accepted norm. You did not say if he was a smoker too but if he is then count yourself lucky that he was not at home while he has been drunk or else he could possibly burnt the house down. I lived with that fear when I was really young and will not ever tolerate that again. As for your husband's need to visit with his brother well he should do that after he has come on from work, gotten cleaned up and eaten first. At least that way you know how he is doing and where he plans to go. One question I have for you is "Are all the members of his family drinkers like this?" If they are then you are fighting an uphill battle. Good luck
- June 3rd, 2009, 08:59 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
Uncle Apple Uncle Apple is offline
Uncle Apple's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 257

See profile

I think the effects of the alcohol are still with him. People who have a serious drinking problem, tend to always be in denial, until nearly too late. Why don't you and your husband see a counselor, or seek a divorce?
- June 26th, 2009, 09:15 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
Harvey7 Harvey7 is offline
Harvey7's Avatar

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2009

Posts: 1,027

See profile

You did the right thing without a doubt in my mind. But since you've taken a stand you have to make a plan, so what's your next step?
Does your husband have a regular job? If he does how does he work when he is drunk? Does he own and drive a car? Has he been arrested for DWI? If his brother had not come to visit, what would your husband normally be doing with his time? Do you have children?
Being a drinker is a learned habit which is addictive and destructive to him and his family, but neither he nor his brother care about that. If your hubby has medical insurance, I would contact them about getting him into an rehab facility for treatment and therapy. Most plans will cover up to 30 days in a treatment program plus out patient therapy. The trick is How are you going to get him to voluntarily commit himself? I can not give you any useful information so I would suggest that you contact AA or your family doctor for real advice. Good Luck.

Harvey7.
- June 27th, 2009, 02:38 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
IcecreamMoon's Avatar

IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

Virtuoso

Join Date: May 2009

Posts: 2,848

See profile

No, I don't think you were too harsh at all. I'd let him stay with his brother for a while, until you've had a chance to cool off. Then try to convince him to attend some sort of a treatment program for alcoholics (binge drinking is serious), and then decide if you wish to stay with him.

Best of luck!
- June 27th, 2009, 05:10 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

« Restless heart ... | Array | Advice Please: Time to Walk Away? »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“ Ahhhhhh. How sweet. We all deserve it. We're great. ” – trixie1868

Join the “Is everyone but me dating?” discussion

“I pretty much am the wrong line. I try not to be.” – jsbach

Join the “Ever been Caught in the Wrong Line?” discussion

“Ha! Great thread. Well I have said it before and I'll say it again. You can't make anyone love you but you can stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I'm not sure if it'd work on me. ... ” – trixie1868

Join the “does persistance pay off?” discussion

“Yes. A bigger boat. The solution to many problems, come to think of it.” – D_Lion

Join the “Is a Cruise a good Date?” discussion

“"Don't get married." "In fact, don't date. Better still, don't even talk to women." Sorry.” – D_Lion

Join the “What is the best financial advice anybody has ever given you?” discussion

“This so needs to be in "Completely Stupid Conversations!"” – D_Lion

Join the “No Excuse for this thread...” discussion

“ Loud enough that the professor knows I am not paying attention, not so much than anyone is pointing and laughing.” – Can_I_just_be_Jo

Join the “Is there a difference between weekday and weekend dates?” discussion

“If this requires another $29.99/month subscription i'm not buyin!! (but I do thank you for your kind thoughts though)” – PY_2

Join the “My match responded!!!” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:10 pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0