Long distance relationship - ever done it?


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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  May 27,2009, 5:29pm
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Have you ever been in a long distance relationship? If so, how did it go?
 
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lindseyk is offline lindseyk Post #2  May 27,2009, 6:51pm

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I was in a long distance relationship last year. I would never do it again. But that might have had more to do with him than with the distance. We were not a good match, unfortunately.
 
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Mr_Right is offline Mr_Right Post #3  May 27,2009, 7:23pm
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Does a hour and 15 min drive one way count?
 
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JoJoBean is offline JoJoBean Post #4  May 27,2009, 7:32pm
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I have been doing it for a year this week. We see each other about twice a month give or take. I wish he was closer. It can be very hard at times and does get lonely. If he was not so wonderful and such a great communicator I don't think it would be so grand. I really hope we have a long future BUT if it does not work out, would I do it again? NO
 
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sabete2002 is offline sabete2002 Post #5  May 28,2009, 2:47am
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Yes, a couple of times. The first time was years ago and I ended up being married to him for 20 years. The second time it didn't work out but that was really because of the guy I was seeing.

They can work. Some people here are in LDR's. It takes a little more effort and understanding than a relationship with someone local is all.
 
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sc4me is offline sc4me Post #6  May 28,2009, 3:15am
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How far is too far? I don't consider anything less than a half-day's drive an LDR. If it involves a flight or an overnight stay in a motel that's an LDR.
 
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Mokkesofie is offline Mokkesofie Post #7  May 28,2009, 4:41am
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You are probably tired of me mentioning my LDR, but here it is anyway.

I've been in a LDR - (5,985 km / 3,719 miles, USA/UK) for 2 years on Tuesday. It's hard work and can be challenging but this guy is definitely worth it. In the beginning of August I'll know if I'm going there on a 6 months tourist visa this fall to give it a try living together. To me it came as a big surprise that I was asked to come as I didn't have the impression he wanted something serious and I was just tacking along, not putting any pressure on him, not talking about a future together at all. I'm crossing my fingers that I'm going, as I said, the verdict will be out in August.
 
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blrdancer is offline blrdancer Post #8  May 28,2009, 12:01pm
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I've been in a few ... two were about 2 hours away driving, the other was several states away (but he was a pilot - which I thought would make it more manageable.)

I think it's possibly they can work -- but I also have sworn I won't do one again. Also, there are 2 types of long-distance: 1) where you met and were together at some point - but then due to jobs, school, etc. you spend part of your relationship LD and 2) where you're LD from the beginning. Definitely think the former is easier than the latter.

I just think it's hard to really get to know someone from a distance - no matter how good communication is, you still miss out on little things like seeing how they interact on a day-to-day basis. For me at least, the distance made it too easy to see things through rose-colored glasses, b/c every trip to see them was like a vacation.
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  May 28,2009, 5:34pm
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Mr_Right wrote :
Does a hour and 15 min drive one way count?
Hmmmmm, no. You guys see each other every weekend without too much difficulty, I assume?
 
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eHA_Admin_Lori is offline eHA_Admin_Lori — Advice Official Moderator Post #10  May 28,2009, 5:35pm
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sc4me wrote :
How far is too far? I don't consider anything less than a half-day's drive an LDR. If it involves a flight or an overnight stay in a motel that's an LDR.
That's kind of what I'm talking about by LDR. Where it's not easy to see each other at least every weekend.
 
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