how do you know? is he in love or just having a good time?


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
kat5560 is offline kat5560 Post #1  May 19,2009, 11:29pm
kat5560's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 347

See profile

your having a great time with man,, you feel sooo close to him, he seems to be crazy about you and only wants to be with you,
he smiles at you lovingly and hugs you alot.
well i have found out recently that a guy can do all this and not necassarily be in love with you. he might just feel like freinds, or even best freinds. he could even be doing this with you and be liking someone else. ( yes its true)

how do you really know the difference between a man who seems and acts in love, and a man who is really in love?

how he acts? no. buy the way he treats you? no. how you feel with him? no. or maybe the amount of time you have been with him? no.
so give us a clue guys. what is the difference between a man having fun with you and a man in love? what are the tell signs?
 
  Reply With Quote
dolphin239 is offline dolphin239 Post #2  May 20,2009, 12:30am
dolphin239's Avatar

hopes for better weather.

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 181

See profile

Gosh, no replies? And I always like your posts kat, so I'll reply even though I'm not a guy. I guess everyone else is too freaked out and afraid they might offend someone and they're busy getting gender sensitivity training( not meant to offend anyone).
You question is kind-of a tough one. Is he playing head games with you? And also, I mean what exactly is your relationship? Are you just friends? lovers? dating? Love Is subjective. I guess it simply boils down to what he actually Feels, or is capable of knowing he feels. And why is he Acting "in love" with you if he Isn't in love with you? It Could be possible he was in love at one time if it's a LTR , but now finds himself feeling attracted to someone else. That happens all the time to Both genders I think. He could love you but not be "in Love". But if as you say he is "so crazy about you and only wants to be with you" then it would seem to me he is in love with you not someone else. Otherwise maybe he really Is crazy? I think someone can be in a LTR, still care a lot for their partner, but find themselves falling in love (or attraction) with someone else. If that same person acts like their still in love with you maybe they feel they Have to act that way because they don't want to lose the relationship they have with you? I don't know if that helps at all? Maybe more details of the exact situation would help.
 
  Reply With Quote
BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #3  May 20,2009, 3:13am
BikerBeagle's Avatar

thinks everyone should just ask themselves, WWBBD?

Virtuoso

Joined: Aug 2008

Kansas

Posts: 2,548

See profile

kat5560 wrote :
how do you really know the difference between a man who seems and acts in love, and a man who is really in love?

how he acts? no. buy the way he treats you? no. how you feel with him? no. or maybe the amount of time you have been with him? no.
so give us a clue guys. what is the difference between a man having fun with you and a man in love? what are the tell signs?
How does anyone know? ...you don't. It comes down to trust ...trust that when they tell you they love you, you believe them.

...and when they tell you they don't, you believe that as well.

Certainly 'love' can be validated by actions ...how they behave around you and towards you, how they prioritize you within their life, how much time they give to you (because time is our most precious commodity, once spent, we can never get it back), etc and so forth ...but these things don't prove 'love', they prove 'interest' in you that could be interpreted as 'love' ...or, as you said, 'fun', 'sex', or simply 'something to do on a Saturday night'.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  May 20,2009, 4:05am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

What is love? I think love is often confused with lust. Lust is that emotional high in the relationship - the make us feel good and excited chemicals racing through our body. Eventually that phase burns out and then you are either left with nothing or a bond of friendship and intimacy and comfort that keeps the relationship going.

Love is something that is much more subtle and comes later in the relationship.....way way later. To me it's one of those things that sneaks up on you eventually, where you may simply look at the person you are with and it kind of dawns on you that you really do love them, flaws and all. How can you tell that has happened to your partner? You really never can. There is no bright neon sign for that and I don't think every relationship ends in that. Also, I think you can love someone and still have too many problems in the relationship to want to be with them. Sorry for the non-answer to your question.
 
  Reply With Quote
sodone is offline sodone Post #5  May 20,2009, 4:25am
sodone's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 99

See profile

Well, I think that if a man tells you he loves you then he does. It's really that simple. You may be overthinking this a bit.
 
  Reply With Quote
ChironOfPelion is offline ChironOfPelion Post #6  May 20,2009, 5:30am
ChironOfPelio…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 4

See profile

I'll tell you if you tell me how guys can know when a girl is interested?

Careful with those feelings of closeness. Hormones can fool you easy. (Voice of recent experience and young glands here.) Stuff to watch for... For me, I'll start opening up to the girl more. Letting her see me vulnerable, instead of being stoic no matter what. Maybe tell her about emotional stuff I went through in the past and actually going into how it made me feel and how it changed me. Or just tell her exactly how I feel about her so there's no ambiguity. I'll start talking about the future with her in it and be willing to talk about long term plans and the possibility of commitment.

I guess I'd advise, if you feel like you're looking up to him, like he has an air of mystery and authority, like he hasn't totally opened up to you, then you need to wait. If he's made an effort to bring you into very personal aspects of his thoughts and feelings, so you feel like you're completely on the same level and the respect flows both ways in equal measure, then he probably loves you. Reaching this state doesn't happen quickly.
 
  Reply With Quote
waltercl is offline waltercl Post #7  May 20,2009, 7:01am
waltercl's Avatar

is Feeling good about life ............................

Veteran

Joined: Nov 2008

The South

Posts: 1,711

See profile

DancingFool wrote :
What is love?
Click here for the answer
Last edited by waltercl; May 20,2009 at 7:04am.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  May 20,2009, 7:12am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,750

See profile

waltercl wrote :
Click here for the answer

OH LOL.....thanks for a good laugh
 
  Reply With Quote
kat5560 is offline kat5560 Post #9  May 20,2009, 7:52am
kat5560's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 347

See profile

here is where my original question came from. i was thinking today about why i used to feel so good in my relationship. it was not becuase we went to the beach and had so much fun or felt so good together just being at a flea market. it wasnt "what" we were doing together. (the suppossed memeories).

what it was that felt so good, was that feeling you get when you have been with someone for years and feel so close to that person and know they feel so close to you,, you know that this person only has eyes for you and you feel so secure, so sure, so good, that you dont even have to think about it anymore. ""me and my guy... so close, so happy"".

well if this is really the part that feels so good about being with someone,,, but you "never really can know"" if what they are feeling is all this too...............................or maybe just really liking being with you with "not" feeling all that,,,,

then how can you ever really feel that wonderful feeling yourself???? i dont know how to "know". i dont know how to be sure so that i can i allow myself to feel that again. and i want to feel that again!!!!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #10  May 20,2009, 8:02am

Veteran

Joined: Mar 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,079

See profile

I believe that a person forsakes all others and places you and your interest and well being above all else in his life.

What do you consider a good time? If the above is true stop trying to make a mountain out of a molehill of insecurity. If on the other hand it's is not true, don't worry about it he treats you well, so just enjoy it as long as it lasts.

Harvey7
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« Too soon to become exclusive? | Relationships | Let Not The Sun Go Down on Your Anger »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Topics
Topic Topic Starter Board Replies Last Post
Advice Please: Time to Walk Away? lily9 Relationships 17 June 27,2009 11:11am
Let Not The Sun Go Down on Your Anger tbesq Relationships 23 June 24,2009 8:23am
2nd time this happends.... help me! star89 Relationships 13 June 11,2009 9:27am
Old Fashioned Romance & Courtship Just_A_Thought Love in Color 78 May 31,2009 6:54pm

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:48am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0