2nd time this happends.... help me!


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star89 is offline star89 Post #1  May 19,2009, 2:27pm
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ok i been dateing this guy for a few months and well he new what he was getn his self into when he wanted to be with me i tld him just like i tld every other guy what they was getn there selve into! that i wanted kids and i wanted to be married and all i want outta like is to be a house wife and just all the simple things and he was all for when i said the simple things ya know... well anyways i also tld him that i wouldnt rush into anything and that i would be ready when he was. but i just had to know that it was something he wanted as well and he was dead set on thats what he wanted.... so we talked about it more and more and oneday i get a call.... saying "baby i love u and i love what we have but i never want to be married and i never want to have kids. but i dnt wanna break up with u why stop a good thing." so i told him" yea why stop a good thing? but why should i keep wasteing my time on a man that wants nothing that i want outta life and he new how much that ment to me and he completly broke that... and so we break up..... after a few weeks i fianly can talk to him without cryn he tells me how much he loves me and i how much i mean to him and that he cnt sleep he cnt eat and that bull ya know but i fell for it and then he asked me to marry him stupid as i am i say yes..... and he PROMISED me OVER AND OVER AND OVER that it was what he really wanted and he wasnt doing just cuz it made me happy..... ok so then we start planning the wedding and everything and even started tring for kids and that ment SOOOOOOOOOOO much to me me ok...
and i tld him i was look im not rushing u at all with all of this cuz i kinda felt that som,ething was wrong and i tld i wasnt rushing him into anything but ...................

so we go up the road he take me to a show and his ex wife was there and after that day everything went wrong..... we go up the road again and he tells me that he dnt want to have kids right now and that he dnt want to marry me and the wedding wasnt till a year anyways but any way he tells me he is scared and that he just dnt feel right about it anymore and all this but tells me to keep the ring that one day he might wanna get married after he done already told me and was dead set on having kids with me and bn married to me. so idk what to think about it its the sec time he does this to me and he is FOREVER always going back on his word and promises he makes to me he never keeps them! and but he also tld me that he was selfish that he wanted me and that all he cud think of to get me back. so he lied to me made me think he really wanted a life with me and then breakes the promise he made me so i really DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT! i love him and im the type of girl that hates breaking up with a guy nomatter how much he has hurt me so PLZ HELLLLLP MEEEEEE!
thanks,
 
 
nogamespls40 is offline nogamespls40 Post #2  May 19,2009, 3:05pm
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Let it go, keep it moving unless you are a glutton for punishment. Hanging on to people that you know in your gut is not going to be what you want them to be will never get you the type of relationship you are looking for. I also would recommend that you get in touch with your inner self to find out why you would still want to be with anyone that treats you badly. That's just my thought on it all.
 
 
star89 is offline star89 Post #3  May 19,2009, 6:20pm
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i jst wanted to thank you for ur input thats helps some what but i have a prob. im really sort hearted and no matter how much i get hurt i cnt hurt them bk ya know. but thank u that does help me and i should just move on!
 
 
nogamespls40 is offline nogamespls40 Post #4  May 19,2009, 11:36pm
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Your welcome. There is a big difference between being soft hearted and a emotional door mat for people. I'm not sure what your history is and please don't spill it all here, but you sound like someone that has become use to being treated badly and assume that it is the way a person shows their love for you or something or worst thinking that you don't deserve to be treated any better. Please speak to a therapist, I truly beg you too, because there are some deep rooted issues going on with you.
 
 
stillthesame is offline stillthesame Post #5  May 20,2009, 2:21pm
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feels like she is 21 again!

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yes, i think you need to see someone about that, then and when you get those resolved, you will be able to someday have enought self esteem about your self to have a healthy relationship with someone.
 
 
meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #6  May 20,2009, 3:52pm
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Can someone translate in 20 words or less?
 
 
NathanCM is offline NathanCM Post #7  May 20,2009, 10:02pm
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I only date the female gender that can type passable English.

Sounds like you both just have different goals in life. Move on.
 
 
MommyGetCoffee is offline MommyGetCoffee Post #8  May 20,2009, 10:21pm
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There is a big difference between "hurting someone back" and simply moving on.

You could simply say "I'm ready to move on."

It will hurt. But doing the right thing for yourself isn't always easy.

It would hurt worse to marry him, have a couple of kids and then find yourself a divorced mom with a heart that's been trampled. Trust me, that takes a lot out of a gal.

Take care of yourself.
 
 
SoOverIt is offline SoOverIt Post #9  May 21,2009, 6:19am
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Can't help you with the relationship issues but maybe you want to try talking in sentences and taking a breath occassionally. That is, if how you write is anything to go by...
 
 
star89 is offline star89 Post #10  May 24,2009, 6:59pm
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ok well i moved on right after i wrote this i broke up with him! and everything is great! sorry for wasteing yall time with this but thank u for the comments
 
 
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