nadine15 is offline nadine15 Post #1  May 18,2009, 11:44am
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hp
Last edited by nadine15; October 28,2009 at 11:31am.
 
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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #2  May 18,2009, 9:26pm

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I think that you should try an out-patient rehab for a month to clear your head and make a clean start for you and your baby. There is always the possibility of a state agency coming in and taking your baby away from you.
I think that you and your boyfriend are to young to be caught up in all of this drama. You were not a nice person and that is what's making your boyfriend crazy. So get it together or your going to be in real trouble. You probably need some counseling to get it together or the roof will come crumbling down on your heads. It's called Grow Up!

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DDjr is offline DDjr Post #3  May 19,2009, 6:45am
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nade,

You're young. You're going to make mistakes - it's part of growing up. Be careful hooking up with these guys. Make sure you are using protection every time.

If you have a problem with drugs or alcohol, you need to get some help with that before you make any decisions about your life.

It sounds like to me that your relationship with the first guy has just about run its course. If all you guys do when you are together is fight it's not much of a relationship.
 
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Vonniebelle is offline Vonniebelle Post #4  May 19,2009, 7:01am
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nade,
If I were you, I would stop with all the boys and the drugs completely. I would be sure to have a solid job and/or school routine and decide what I want to do with my life. Counseling/rehab might help with that. Do you have a mother, aunt, teacher, minister, nurse, or friend that you can talk to? You sound like a very smart and a very precious individual who has a lot together and a lot to live for. I wish the very best for you.
 
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Vonniebelle is offline Vonniebelle Post #5  May 19,2009, 7:14am
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Nadine,
I wrote what I did without mentioning your boyfriend. You have to help yourself and take care of yourself before you can help anyone else. I am not asking you to be selfish. After you become established in your own right, then you and your guy can work better together to help each other. He has to work out his problems. You work out yours. Then the two of you can work better together later. Each one of us has to take care of ourselves before we can take care of anyone else.
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shellyg is offline shellyg Post #6  May 19,2009, 7:46am
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First of all please stop using drugs! You are participating in self destructive behavior that will screw up your life if you do not stop. When you do and I hope you do stop using, it would be in your best interest to no longer associate with friends that use drugs. Including your boyfriend. In my opinion neither one of you love yourselves or you would not be using drugs. A person that does not love themselves cannot contribute positively to any relationship.
 
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angelofmerci is offline angelofmerci Post #7  May 19,2009, 8:19am
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Nadine,

As a teenager or young person you are experiencing the denial that "nothing can hurt me" that all young people go through. If you are not using condoms then you are playing Russian Roulette with your life since you could end up with HIV or other stds. Should you end up pregnant while using drugs, most likely the drugs will cross over to the fetus impacting its mental and possibly physical functions. It would be hard enough for you to take care of a normal baby right now but taking care of child whose mother took drugs while she was pregnant would be super hard as the baby would require more attention and cost more for all the medical treatment it would require.

Before you try to get serious about any guy I suggest you enter a rehab program to get straight. After rehab I suggest that you get as much education as you possibly can so that you will never be financially dependent on any man for your support. After you have gotten all the education that you want then and only then should you start looking forward to a serious relationship. Good Luck
 
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EugeneDammrod is offline EugeneDammrod Post #8  May 19,2009, 10:48am
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You seem to be at a serious crossroads in your life.

I recommend cutting off contact with all these guys, because they're not good for you and you're not good for them. I'm not saying that you're all terrible people, what I mean is that it's obvious to me that you guys are continuing this cycle of emotional hurt and drug abuse. It's going to be real tough because you're just 18 and you don't have perspective. You'll think about all the good times and memories and think that you're in love, but you really aren't. When you've got your house in order and acquire the maturity that often comes with age and experience you're going to find out what a true loving committed relationship is about, and it doesn't involve drug use and all this emotional yo-yoing you've been doing.

Also, as mentioned by several posters before me, get counseling. You'll probably be able to quit all the partying, and boys, and drugs for a little while, but you'll probably go back because judging from what you posted it seems that the true problem is rooted in your deep, deep emotional hurt and dependency. You just can't do that. You have your whole life ahead of you, but before you can live your life you're going to have to learn to love yourself, and with that love will come respect and independence.

Also, you're going to have to change your mindset on drugs. You can't get high, do crazy stuff, and absolve yourself the next morning by saying that you wouldn't have done the things you would have done if you weren't high. You took the drugs, and you have to always remember that it's you that ultimately has control over your life.

I'm sure about all this because I used to have some substance abuse problems myself, and I can see all the parallels between my life and yours. Except for all the dudes. I'm not really into dudes, so you switch them all out for chicks. Preferably hot ones.
 
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Vonniebelle is offline Vonniebelle Post #9  June 17,2009, 6:47am
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Dear Nadine,
Please, please just take some time off. Be by yourself for awhile and get settled down. Decide what to do with your life and how to take care of yourself. It might take a few months or even a year. Just remember you are a great kid a good person and you are going to be good at what you do. Your boyfriend needs to do the same for himself. If you two are meant to be together, let it happen slowly. Nothing has to be right now. Hope the best for you.
 
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