What do I do now? Don't throw rocks!


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charmed4261 is offline charmed4261 Post #1  May 17,2009, 9:24am
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Okay...I had a date this morning and I cancelled it because my heart just wasn't in it...I just kept thinking about HIM.

I know it was stupid, but I sent HIM a text message: "What would it take for you to let go of your anger and pride and realize there's somebody who cares enough and only wants to be with you?"
It was more of a retorical question. I never expected him to respond.

He did. He text: "No anger No pride I will call you at 6pm"

Why, why, why didn't I leave it alone?

I texted: "I hope it will be worth standing this guy up in SB...if it's not just send me an email instead."

He text: "Have fun in SB"
How was I supposed to take that? I pissed him off? The phone call tonight was not going to be good?

So I tried to call him to tell him he took it wrong. He wouldn't answer his phone, so I text him and told him he took it wrong. I just meant that I only wanted HIM.

No response. I try to call, he wouldn't answer.

So I text again and say "Oh...I get it...you're telling me that it won't be good"
No response.
I text again: "Why make me wait until 6pm"

He calls and says: This is what I'm talking about all these text messages, this is ridculous. I told him that I was just joking around and didn't want him to take it wrong, so I was trying to fix it" He said "I told you I wasn't going to play games" "We are not at a point in our relationship where you should be joking around" then he corrected himself and said "This is not a relationship" He said he would call me when he got to work tonight.

What is going on? If it's a Dear Jane phone call, I don't want to hear it.
 
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Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #2  May 17,2009, 11:02am
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Wow....this guy is getting more attention from you than he deserves. Hmmm.....all of the texts, calls, etc. would send huge red flags for me if I were on the receiving end.

I'd personally not waiting around for the guy's call and, in fact, wouldn't answer if he does call. I'd instead take the time to apologize to the guy whom I stood up and invite him out for coffee or a drink if he'd be willing to give me a second chance.

I realize it's tough letting an ex go and there's often a huge urge to call him back, but an ex is an ex for a reason. Try to be strong. During those moments when you feel you're about to break down and call him, think about everything that you have going for yourself and tell yourself that you deserve much more than this guy has offered. There are tons of men out there who will recognize what you have to offer (there's no sense in wasting time on those who aren't doing so).

It seems as though your relationship with your ex was over a while ago and (in my opinion), contacting him via text to tell him about another guy that you stood up was not cool. But hey, we're all human, things happen. I'd chalk it up as a lesson learned and take his response as a HUGE indication that he's not worth anymore time and effort....Meet and date other guys.....Next!


...Best wishes
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #3  May 17,2009, 11:27am
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Charmed, there comes a time in everyone's life when a light bulb comes on over their head and they "get it". Re-read what you wrote above and try to do it as you're reading a stranger's post. I hope you'll "get it".
 
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JMWTurnerFan is offline JMWTurnerFan Post #4  May 17,2009, 11:35am
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boccabum wrote :
Charmed, there comes a time in everyone's life when a light bulb comes on over their head and they "get it". Re-read what you wrote above and try to do it as you're reading a stranger's post. I hope you'll "get it".
Bocca: you should just copy this message to half the new threads out there.

Seriously: that's a lot of the problem. You know YouTube recently added to its comments a function that reads your comment back to you. The idea came from this (hilarious!) comic, posted a few months before they added the function: xkcd - A Webcomic - Listen to Yourself
 
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Nature_Lover is offline Nature_Lover Post #5  May 17,2009, 11:50am
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On the off chance that he does call, it will be to "gently" (but manipulatively and hurtfully) let you down. This is all part of the pattern...and you acting desperate and texting, then saying you were joking etc...is only:

1) Fueling his high that he gets from pushing your buttons and jerking you around emotionally
2) Giving him more ammo to use if he ever does call or write another "Dear Jane" email.

Please, please move on...don't waste time and energy and emotion on this guy. I know from experience...it is not healthy and leads no where good.
 
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ThePriestess is online now ThePriestess Post #6  May 17,2009, 1:46pm
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Can I throw blueberry muffins instead?
 
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JMWTurnerFan is offline JMWTurnerFan Post #7  May 17,2009, 1:54pm
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ThePriestess wrote :
Can I throw blueberry muffins instead?
At me, sure. That would be perfect right now.
 
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EastCoastMermaid is offline EastCoastMermaid Post #8  May 17,2009, 3:24pm
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Charmed,

I agree with Doctora.. don't answer the phone.

You gave him enough of your precious time. Whatever he has to say, do you really want to hear it?

Sometimes.. silence is golden... and necessary to move forward.

Good luck, stay strong!
 
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lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #9  May 17,2009, 4:07pm
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Don't answer the phone is a good idea.

But a better one, for future reference - don't instigate the communication with him in the first place.

I read through your other post on this. He can *only* continue this pattern with you if YOU continue with your part of the pattern. Seems to me that it's been what - 2 or 3 weeks of silence on his part. He didn't reach out randomly today and call to say he's going to call tonight at 6pm. He said that in reply to your instigating communication with him for your needs, your reasons. Let it go.

As difficult as it may be for you right now - just *don't* contact him. Not now, not tommorrow, not next week, or next month. Just DON'T.

He'll grow quiet once again, he's done it already. You'll move on quicker than you think you can.
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #10  May 17,2009, 4:49pm

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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JMWTurnerFan wrote :
Bocca: you should just copy this message to half the new threads out there.

Seriously: that's a lot of the problem. You know YouTube recently added to its comments a function that reads your comment back to you. The idea came from this (hilarious!) comic, posted a few months before they added the function: xkcd - A Webcomic - Listen to Yourself
Spot on. So many times I've written posts when I really needed to take a time out.
 
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