You said he's not "unattractive" and have had sex with him. Why did you sleep with him if he's so ugly?

Why do you say he's not interested in working on the relationship? Have you tried leading? Are you expecting him to know what you need or have you talked with him about what makes a good partner for you?

You said he wants to get married some day but you don't "fully" see it. So you've considered marrying him to be able to determine you don't "fully" see it, are you being realistic about marriage or expecting a movie-like fantasy?

You posted, so I'm replying...perhaps you are so torn because you do love him and just aren't mature enough to accept him as he is?

How can you encourage his "treating you like a queen" and "putting you first" but trash him so badly?

If my retorts are ticking you off then maybe you should re-evaluate the good things in the relationship and about him. Because if there are core things you love about him and your time together then perhaps you're actually happy and just don't realize it yet?

Please don't make a rash decision but don't drag him through the dirt either. It doesn't sound like he deserves to be treated poorly by you because it sounds like he's been pretty dedicated.

Consider a new tactic...be honest, try something new in the relationship, make more of an effort to really get to know him, work out with him, tell him what bothers you...then if he can't live up to what you believe is good enough then cut him loose knowing you gave it a real chance.

Sounds like something brought you two together. Sounds like there's something that kept you together for 20 months, right?

Just communicate with him about where you are inside, but don't lead him on.

Attraction in a long-term-relationship waxes and wanes. That's normal and it will happen from time to time even if you move on to the next person.

I don't think that is a reason to let go. I think you should hold on and be friends at first in time the attraction might come. Don't let go for sure because that may be someone that you can grow to love. And as you said he treats you like a queen you already have something a lot of females do not have., and are looking for and would ignore the minor flaw that you are willing to let him go for. You should always be friends at first that would make the relationship last longer, because there is nothing hidden, friends tell each other everything. And if something happens it happens if it don't then you would still have a great friend. I am not sure the kind of guys you are interested in but you are obviously not in a relationship and the past ones have not worked! It seems that he may be different from them and that may be a good thing you just need to stick in there and give it a try.

Ok, here's the deal. I've been in a relationship for over 2 years and can feel your pain. I'm with a great guy, respectable, attractive and stable, however, there's no "chemistry". Sex is awkward without passion. There's no "intimacy" and he doesn't kiss either. In fact, the only time he touches me is when he wants sex and that's maybe once a week....not enough for me. He's also a "right fighter" and it's "his way or the highway". He constantly talks about stupid TV shows and a real couch potato. He's also gained about 30 pounds since we've been dating and I work hard to stay thin, be healthy and want to look good for him, but it's not recipocated. This is what I've learned....you can't change anyone, only yourself. If you don't have that "chemistry" from the beginning or if it has fizzled out, it's not going to come back over time. It's sometimes easier to settle for the wrong person, because starting over or being alone can be scary, but life is too short. The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for 20 months, is being in a bad relationship for 20 months and a day. It's nobodys fault if there's no connection, but it won't change. Drop him and find someone who makes you feel like your the center of his life. Find someone who tells you that you're beautiful and someone who makes you feel butterflys in your stomach when you look at him. If it's not passionate now, it definately won't be later. Just think to the future...is this the man you want to grow old with. Will this man take care of you when you're old and sick? Are you willing to do the same for him? Will he get you through the hard times of life like the death of loved ones, loss of a job or financial crisis? Is this the man that you feel grateful for that he found you in this great big world? If not, move on. People come in and out of your life for different reasons to teach us something about ourselves. Just because your "dating" him and it's comfortable, doesn't mean "he's the one". Believe that you deserve to be happy and don't settle. It's better to be alone for a while then to be with the wrong person for one more day. Don't sell yourself short. There are may opportunities out there that you're closed off to because you're in this current relationship. If you're not happy, stop the bleeding now and move on before it's 5 years later and you're still not happy. The right man will come to you at the right time....be open to it.