Indecisive and Frustrated - Should I Go or Stay?


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Harvey7 is offline Harvey7 Post #11  May 15,2009, 7:51am

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I would have to say it's almost like having a 7th. girlfriend. I don't thing that your communicating with him on a level that he can see the relationship from your eyes. On one hand you do share a fair amount of time with him, why? What part of the boring relationship are you responsible for? You seem to have washed you hands in contributing, humor, fun, sexuality and being a friend and a lover, so what is your roll?

I think that you could teach him how you like to be kissed and what turns you on in bed, but he is not a mind reader. Why not try some couples counseling to bridge the gap of misunderstanding. Life could be worse, so try it.

The reason is that it sound like you guys have a lot going on, but, poor communications and a lack of being responsible for yourself in the relationship, kind-a make you guys matching bookends!

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Last edited by Harvey7; May 15,2009 at 7:55am.
 
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boccabum is offline boccabum Post #12  May 15,2009, 9:10am
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LadyDi10 and beentheremom,
This is what happens whey you get into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, rather than living your life happy and alone and getting into one with the right person. In other words, I suspect that you wanted a relationship SO BADLY that you found the first guy that met the minimum number of requirements needed. You both listed them.
Why else would you start dating someone you weren't 100% attracted to unless the goal was the relationship? My advice to both of you is make yourselves HAPPY. If that means breaking if off with these guys, then do it.
A relationship is a purely voluntary thing to have. It's not necessary for happiness and surely doesn't CREATE happiness. If you're miserable, then get out and become happy again. After you find happiness, you'll be armed with indifferance (because you don't needa relationship) and be able to enter into a one without your self imposed sacrifices (like being attracted to the guy, or not compatible with him).
Last edited by boccabum; May 15,2009 at 9:11am. Reason: format change
 
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redheavens is offline redheavens Post #13  May 15,2009, 7:53pm
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Let me begin by saying, I am far from perfect and respect the value and precious gift of love.I've been dating this very nice gentleman for about 20 months. He treats me like a queen and puts me first. He's a great communicator and listener. Easy-going and easy to please. Patient and kind, So what's the challenge? There's no attraction (although he is not unattractive) and no emotional connection. He's not affectionate, good in bed, and he cannot kiss. In short, he's an intellectual nerd and dull. He spends most of his time on the internet and knows something about everything. He's a 'smart ass' and irritates me as he ALWAYS wants to debate facts. He's more concerned about being right than in relationship

It sounds like you already know what you really want to do and havent. If you really loved him you would not be able to refer to him in such disdain. Also have you a responsability to tell him in a positive way that in bed their is room for improvment.

Some people can over come looks but if you know you cant theirs no point in staying in the relationship because it will always be a sore spot. Something that will come up everytime you get upset or get in a fight with him. Same as kissing and how well he does or does not perform in bed.

So just ask yourself can i spend a lifetime with his traits that get on my nerves? If the answer is no than move on.
 
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