When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

When the Honeymoon Phase is Over

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When the Honeymoon Phase is Over


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shilohsweetie is offline shilohsweetie Post #11  May 25,2009, 1:17pm
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5 honeymoons later,,,,,,,,,,,some not lasting thru the nite,,,,,,,,,,,,it happens. especially when you get married. people just love the chase, the control and the thought they have someone all to themselves....
we can all dream that it will always be exciting, but reality just sets in and it happens.....
get over it, hopefully not marrying the guy, but still bellieving that there is someone out there that will possibly surprise you............someone you never even suspected
 
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hikergirl3 is offline hikergirl3 Post #12  June 2,2009, 3:58pm
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To the woman who seems to think she took things in bed too slowly and thinks her guy thinks she's ugly (sorry, forgot your name): Mind if I share my perspective on your situation? First off, fast or slow in bed is all about personal values and preference. Differences in opinion may make you two incompatible in that area (he maybe wanted faster, but you acted slower)....but that doesn't make you wrong for moving 'too slow'...if you were true to yourself, and don't have any problems ultimately stepping things up when you're ready, there's nothing to feel bad about there. Second, I noticed that you say things like he "apparently" finds you repulsive, which suggest to me that he never actually said such things outright, but that you only THINK the reason he's backing off with the intimacy is because of your looks. Is it possible that there's another explanation? Many times, what other people do doesn't really have anything to do with us, or isn't about us in the way we think it is, but we take their actions personally anyway (and trust me, I know it's hard not to take some things personally). My point is, though, that you seem to be beating yourself up in the looks department yourself, and I'm not sure he'd agree...and it definitely isn't helping you. Granted, he is backing off, for some reason, but you also mentioned that he's not wanting to break up because of the possibility of revitalizing his feelings for you. If you haven't done it already, I'd suggest asking him straight up exactly why he thinks he's been backing off (if he even knows), and maybe more importantly, what does he think would need to happen in order to revitalize his feelings for you. Try to listen openly and without quick or defensive reactions, and ask him to be entirely (and possibly brutally) honest for the sake of your relationship. If he really is interested in trying to revitalize things, then that could be reason to have hope, and open communication could very well uncover your next step...whether it be back together or further apart. Counseling may also help if you're both open to it (sorry if that sounds preachy or cliche'), and from what you shared it sounds like you two have a history and maybe something worth saving. You need to figure out exactly what the issue is though (instead of just THINKING it's your physical looks), and find out what could be done to fix things, instead of running circles in your head worrying and feeling bad about yourself. That will only keep you stuck exactly where you are....miserable. And you deserve better than that, whether it be closure and a chance to move on, or the possibility of rekindling things with your guy. Good luck to you.
 
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hogrally is offline hogrally Post #13  June 3,2009, 11:36am
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eharmonyadvice wrote :
What happens when that first, most passionate phase of a relationship begins to fade?
You stop hiding the fact that each morning you....toot loudly and just lay there and let ' er rip
 
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luvtheson is offline luvtheson Post #14  June 3,2009, 10:37pm
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beentheredonethattshirt wrote :
your first mistake...not realizing that you are not strong enough to hack it on your own. anyone wanting a relationship can't hack it on their own. so if you had realized this first then none of this would've happened and no roller coaster for you. and now you have nothing but a broken heart. get strong, learn to live on your own, rely on no one but yourself and you will be happy. at the end of the day, only you will be there for you.
That's so NOT true. People wanting a relationship want to connect & contribute to one anothers life. To find someone to share themselves with not because they are weak but because God made us to desire relationships. It's a natural thing to want to love & be loved - NOT a weakness. Relationships take work & you have to find someone who is willing to do the work that it takes to stay connected. I'm sorry for your loss but you can't force a person to "feel" love. You will need to heal, then try again. Give yourself some time. Build up your strength - not because you can only rely on yourself but because you will need it when you find that person who is willing to put in the time and effort.
 
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AnthonyTh is offline AnthonyTh Post #15  November 18,2009, 8:36pm

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this is a reality you have to face... if you do not want to get over it, then what you have to do is to court your partner everyday just like what you did in your early years (or months or weeks whatever).. easier said than done, but that's the key ...
 
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bubbathegut is offline bubbathegut Post #16  January 11,2011, 2:06pm
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Is there a dating law where you have move into different phases, my ex used to tell me the same thing all time. I felt the same amount of passion for her from the day we met to the day we broke up. She said it was normal for couples who have been dating for some time for the passion and sex to slow down. Well not for me, maybe I am special or something, but I wanted to touch and caress her every day that we were together.
 
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