People want honesty when it suits them...not necessarily all the time. Also, I think the times when people lie are oftentimes when they really want to do something....but just don't want the negative consequences that come with that action. It's easy for people to say they 'want honesty'...but it's a bit different when there's something you'd really like to get away with.
The photograph is biased; the man's body language says "oh crud I messed up." Now look at the woman's body language.
Another article where men are immediatly considered wrong. Yet as comedian George Carlin noted "women ask men to be honest and then they were make-up."
Another comedian, Chris Rock said "women wear heels, they aren't that tall. Fake nails, hair color, everything about women is a lie." The audience went wild.
Why do so MANY EH profiles (women) ask men to be honest when they do the above? :-O
I don't agree that men should lie to women or vice versa. But why are men always painted as the liar?
How is make up, dying hair and fake nails lies? When a fifty year old has no grey hair or a woman has platinum blonde hair with dark roots and eyeliner and lipstick on, she's not trying to pretend she naturally looks that way and won't deny they're makeup and fake nails. Apples and oranges comparison. How are those openly done up features she's not hiding or lying to pretend are natural the same as a man pretending he's going to bed early only to drive to his mistress's house to sleep with her. Men lie and try to divert the attention to some eyeshadow and press on nails? Doesn't make sense to me.
Short answer....I don't deal with dishonesty in the relationship. Honesty is the thing I value the most...without it, there is no relationship.
Exactly that ^^. I have learned too late in the past that someone I was in a relationship with was a habitual liar, from "little" stuff to really serious issues, and that it wasn't likely to ever change.
But even when I see/hear evidence of "little white lies" anymore - on dating profiles or offline life - that's all I need to know. I don't care if it's "just a couple of years" off in age or a couple inches in height or saying a particular restaurant is fine, only to find out later that was the last place they wanted to go.
Even where there is no malicious intent or serious character flaws, I see it as an "convenient" way to worm one's way out of awkward/uncomfortable discussions or situations that indicates a lack of mature coping and communication skills, or a way to get what they want when they don't feel they can get it honestly.
Whatever the excuse, the bottom line for me is that there is only one direction for a relationship with a dishonest person to go, and I deserve better.
I can only quote my ex's tag line from match "honesty & respect are the key to a healthy relationship". Makes you wonder why he spent the kids' college fund in hostess bars.
Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... –
Simplicity-2012
I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do.
The general idea most of the ... –
Herkemer
And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... –
MicMan
How long have you all been on EH?
Thanks for the advice.
I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past. –
Simplicity-2012
The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..."
But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... –
Simplicity-2012
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