Agreeing Disagreeably: in relationships, and here on our boards


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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #21  April 30,2009, 12:25am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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Just read the article after the link was fixed. Good stuff especially 1, 2, 3, 5 + 7. 7's a great goal to shoot for. Otherwise we'll have this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Clwhm...eature=channel The Great Office War A must see...
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #22  April 30,2009, 12:59am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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vapsman88,598344 wrote :

tweet37,598296 wrote :


vapsman88,598279 wrote :


That was a fabulous article, loved it!


I agree. Every bit as informative as the ones by Christian Carter.


Or Lynda Carter.
Christian Carter is a swoonable guy. He makes women swoon for him. Lynda Carter...oh my I'm the only surviving member (the others quit and/or moved away, the fools) of the Wonder Woman Club started in a treehouse long ago.* I wonder if Christian Carter can make her swoon?


Would he be agreeable if she wanted to rope him in? Or would she disagree to that in an agreeable way? If they got married, wouldshe agree toamarried name Lynda Carter-Carter?


*not all comments might be true in this post...
 
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outlaw1 is offline outlaw1 Post #23  April 30,2009, 1:37am

Time for the phalanx to go back to work...

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I'm standing up for agreeing to disagree in an agreeable way with fellow board members. What say you'all?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57hSq...eature=related Standing up


The hardest part is #7, uniting when you strongly disagree with someone. But we do have common goals here and getting along on eha is important.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-6Bo...eature=channelworking together


Offline I have more patience. For me I use the 1) look 2) listen 3) think before saying (intellectualize and ask "who and/or what am I really angry at? Am I reallly angry at ________ but taking it out on ________________? Is it the hot weather, empty stomach, job situation/other worries, fatigue, disappointment, etcthat are prompting me to (or them) use misplaced anger?

And finally 4) walk away and/or into another room if the other person is getting too loud, upset, etc, about to get violent, etc. There's a lot of other nifty things one can do like join an online Anger Management Group or read a book on anger ("Make Anger Your Ally" by Dr. Neil Clark Warren) is recommended. Easy & fun to read includes great tips on reducing and stopping your anger.


Long before I knew about E. Harmony.com I bought 3 books on anger. His was the best one and had the most solid easy to understand and use tips. One thing he says is get a friend to help you incorporate new coping skills (learning to recognize the signs BEFORE you explode, etc.) For mea friend let me know via hand signs letting me know I was going to lose it (you can use any physical or verbal sign/codewords you want.)


Within a relatively short time, I was able to turn from a venter to a more patience, peaceful person offline. Yes it took months before it became a permanent part of my not raising my voice mentality during an arguement. But with a helper it becomes a challenging fun way to learn about yourself via feedback.


http://www.amazon.com/Make-Anger-You.../dp/1561791210


Online it's a different story. I can't make the same connections via my brain and the spoken and written language. Maybe I don't write as good as my spoken communication is. Frustration sets in. The article presented here gives us more ammo to use/think of when encountering aliens* er I mean those who don't agree with us.


I've realized while I might be too direct sometimes and need to work on that as well as the need to win. Sometimes others might come across as appearing to be above board. Meanwhile like me, winning is higher on their personal agenda than they are willing or able to admit online. Cool. No one is perfect. I sometimes believe I'm a Spartan, what do I know?


What was the shout of the three Muskateers? One eha member for all and all eha for one ("one for all and all for one.") Ok not quite sounding the way I wanted but you get the internet sand drift. I say we all gointernet skinny dipping and hash out our problems in the internet waters.



* Xerxes may or may not be included here
 
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