D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #11  April 29,2009, 5:58pm
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Quoting Mel:


Are you suggesting it is better to be unemployed for two years, exhaust your resources to the point that you can no longer pay your rent, but in the meantime continue your creative endeavors that do not earn a living? This latter point is in reference to the OP comment: "he hasn't worked in 2 years (in anything that pays him".[/b]


I do not see a definitive right or wrong to this question. One person may choose to pursue a “creative endeavor” while another chooses to attempt to start a small business venture and another chooses to not work while incurring large debt to get a postgraduate education. It is not a certainty that he is lazy for not having a paycheck … maybe, but not proven.


Further, I prefer not to equate accepting a support which has been previously offered[/i] with money-grubbing greed (indeed, I am offended by the assertion that these are similar concepts.)
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #12  April 29,2009, 6:14pm
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D_Lion,598696 wrote :

Quoting Mel:


Are you suggesting it is better to be unemployed for two years, exhaust your resources to the point that you can no longer pay your rent, but in the meantime continue your creative endeavors that do not earn a living? This latter point is in reference to the OP comment: "he hasn't worked in 2 years (in anything that pays him".[/b]


I do not see a definitive right or wrong to this question. One person may choose to pursue a “creative endeavor” while another chooses to attempt to start a small business venture and another chooses to not work while incurring large debt to get a postgraduate education. It is not a certainty that he is lazy for not having a paycheck … maybe, but not proven.


Further, I prefer not to equate accepting a support which has been previously offered[/i] with money-grubbing greed (indeed, I am offended by the assertion that these are similar concepts.)
I think for the first part, there is too little information in the OP and we will probably not agree on this with the current picture presented.


As for the second part: "I prefer not to equate accepting a support which has been previously offered with money-grubbing greed (indeed, I am offended by the assertion that these are similar concepts."


Thank you for clarifying, I now understand your point and I agree with you having read this. I am sorry my comments offended you, as I also do not believe these concepts are similar. Please accept my apology.


I do still believe from my original comments that if the OP doesn't feel good about changing her mind about this offer now because he might be on the street, she will feel even worse about that being his fate if he moves in indefinitely and the situation becomes intolerable, making her be the one to put him out.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #13  April 29,2009, 6:46pm
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A person should not offer something to another and then rescind that offer upon acceptance.


I do not even have the words to condemn such action.
 
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MelinCali is offline MelinCali Post #14  April 29,2009, 7:01pm
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Well, I for one will not judge the OP for rethinking her offer, regardless of whether it is something I would or would not do myself.


The offer was made a few months ago. We do not know if any circumstances have changed for her, and we don't fully know how things have changed for this man, or what their relationship even really is for that matter. Plus, I think she did not think through the ramifications of her offer in the first place.


In the end, she is the one who has to do what is right for her since this is her life, her home, and more importantly, her resources we are talking about. If she is of similar age, her income or savings are going to be supporting someone else and she might not be prepared financially to do so, especially if she is fairly close to retiring.
 
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