Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #11  April 27,2009, 8:38pm
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Games???? Hmmmmm.... I guess I can see how your deciding to sit back and see if he contacts you may be interpreted by some as playing games BUT...so be it. If you can make an honest assessment of your efforts to contact him and conclude that you've been putting a lot of effort and have seen little in return, thenput the ball in his court and give him a chanceto step it up.


I definitely understand the meaning of being "too busy", but let's be real.....If someone is interested in you (and is thoughtful and worth sticking around for), he'll AT LEAST text you a smiley face or something to let you know you're not simply a "weekend" gig.


I'd sit back and see if he responds. I don't think it's playing games, it's simply seeing the extent to which he's willing to put in the effort and (in the process) help you determine whether he's worth YOUR continued time and effort.





....Best wishes
 
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Doctora2012 is offline Doctora2012 Post #12  April 27,2009, 8:40pm
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serendipity16,596398 wrote :







I have mentioned it to him that I expect him to call more, which was met by denial (for the most part). I'm not a game player by any means and I really do want to just call him up/send a quick email/text, which I do often(maybe twice a week during the week).


As far as the hours go, they aren't opposite, but I think somewhat erratic. Right now we both have jobs constituting of project work with strict deadlines (which means we are cramming in at least 18 hour days for at least a few days before a deadline) and our deadlines don’t often coincide. The only difference is I like to send him a quick message/surf in the 5 minute breaks I take while he likes to go grab a coffee with his colleagues (he's a bit of a caffeine addict). We both have projects that are due soon right now, maybe I’ll plan something for us after we are done our projects and not read too much into this.
Oh, and forgot to mention.....DROP the "I expect him to call more." Can't expect anything from anyone, sweetie (not even if he were your husband). Allow this guy to be himself (hopefully he'll end up being thoughtful enough to initiate communication sometimes), and make no attempts to change him.





....Best wishes
 
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Jacquiem is offline Jacquiem Post #13  April 28,2009, 1:00pm
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Interesting posts. I met a guy who expressed interest in me first. He's actually been flirting with me at the gym for months. He finally just fessed up, told me he liked me, and gave me his number. I called him that night. Heck, why wait, I wanted to let him know I'm intersted, too. He called back from work the next am. I texted him this morning just to say hello and to "maintain the level of interest" on my part; good Lord I got back a declaration of my beauty and queenliness!I liked it!!!! When I see him at the gym and if we get a chance to chat, I will slip into the conversation how I like letting a man know he's on my mind sometimes (not all the time - he doesn't need to know how much I ACTUALLY think about him. Noooooo, he doesn't need to know that) because I'm not shy about letting someone who's interested in me know that I'm interested, too. I think it's nice to know someone's thinkingabout you. In a nice way. That would be a BIG HINT for him to do the same.I will also slip in some other things Jacquiem likes, like going to see Wolverine this weekend, andbuttered popcorn, and gummie stars.


I used to do the waiting game, but I figure if I'm interested in you, too, why bother? If you give me your number, I'm calling you. Now if I'm always the one initiating contact, that becomes a little suspect, but I don't mind letting a guy know he's on my mind.


Men do like that, don't they?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #14  April 28,2009, 1:24pm
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When you say busy, how busy are we talking about? Do you mean he works 12-16 hour days and is dead, beat, andtired after that? If that is the case, it's not surprising he does not call you. It's not that he does not want to, it's that he is too tired. You making an effort during the week is probably viewed as sweet and pleasant on his part. Also, if he calls on the weekends and makes the effort to see you despite the trouble of travel, I'd say that you don't have much to worry about. Relationships are a two way street.
 
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serendipity16 is offline serendipity16 Post #15  April 28,2009, 5:33pm
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Thanks for the input! You all raise some really fascinating points to contemplate. I really appriciate the different ponts of views.


Doctora - I guess I shouldnt' expect to change him. Maybe he just has a differnt way of letting me know he's thinking about me by making plans when we can.


Jacquiem - I really don't do the the whole waiting game either, which is why this is so strange to me.


Dancingfool- As for our jobs, we are both in jobs that leave us beat at times, not physical work, but projects that take up way too much time, effort and co-ordination to the point that both of us have been known to just crash on our couches because we are not be able to make it our beds. Even weekends aren't completly off, sometimes we need to work weekends if thats what it takes to get the work done. That being said, I do send him cute little msgs (that basically show that I'm thinking about him) if/when I get a chance, but its been a while since he's done the same. I have a project due on Monday and he has 2 on Tuesday so I'll see after that I guess. We both knew work comes first and we are both in similar situations, but I didnt' anticipate him being this busy. Guess you never know and just have to wait and see....


I'll just drown myself back in work (I have ample of it at the moment).


Thanks again!
 
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