Moving In...

Dear VegasChick,


Was distressed to read of his dishonesty with you in the matter of not being divorced but letting you think he was. More than ever, I advise you NOT to move in with him. Again, it seems like he is trying to proceed but this time without being emotionally ready to proceed.


After anyone's divorce, the person needs time. There's a very apropos saying, "Marry in haste, repent in leisure." There's nothing wrong with giving it another four or five months of being apart and then eloping or marrying in front of friends or family or however you all decide to get married.


I can now see his mother's concerns even more clearly and I do think she is correct. Do this not not only for the sake of your future relationship but for YOURSELF, most importantly, so you're not a rebound and a divorce statistic.


If you look at the whole of your life, several more months is NOT that much in the great scheme of a person's life and I think this guy needs more time - despite whatever he may be saying to you.


He's got to heal on his own without using you as a crutch for avoiding thinking about and facing his own role in the breakdown of his marriage.


Not only would I go through the book and other thing I mentioned - "The Couple Checkup" - but I'd definitely make sure to have plenty of premarital counseling.


What he did was lie to you and broke trust. I'd take that very, very seriously before marrying such a person and look him over a whole lot more before tying the knot (though not living with him first).


Please think about these things for YOUR well-being.


JavaJava5

vegaschick


In your post one word "deployment" stood out. The only time I have seen that word used was in connection to someone in the military, usually those headed overseas. If what I am thinking is true then your moving in is premature as anything could happen that could end up in one huge legal mess at a time when you would not need it. Could you clarify?