photocrazybaby1507 is offline photocrazybaby1507 Post #1  March 6,2009, 3:24pm
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misses her man... haven't seen him for a week

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So my boyfriend of 2 years now dated this one girl for almost 2 years before he met me, we met through this 'love square' yeah,I know, odd right?


Well, my first ever boyfriend was the one I had before him and... it didnt work out too well. We dated on and off for 4 months then I found out he had been cheating on me with one of my (believe it or not) elementary school friends! (Yeah I know... small world) Anyways... the boy she was cheating on is now my current boyfriend. And she and my ex have been dating like every 2 months off and on for 2 years while I'm perfectly content...


Except for one thing, his 2 exes decided to call me one night about a year ago... and tell me that he had cheated on both of them and they explained it in further detail. Well... I asked him about it because it worried me and he did admit to cheating on both of them, but he only cheated on his most recent girlfriend because for the 2 years he dated her... he knew she was cheating on him for at least a year (with my ex) and didnt do anything about it.


Then about 2 months later he sent a text to his most recent ex (even though we had agreed to stop talking to everyone we had dated or tried to date due to his cheating problems)... and he asked her if she could try to come see him at work. She called me and told me that he had, and I once again confronted him about it. He lied. He said his cousin sent it. And when I asked him if he was telling the truth he broke down and started crying, repeating over and over "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I just wanted to see how she's doing! Can you blame me? I dated her for 2 years!"


I was heartbroken. He broke a promise and lied to me. I told him that if he wasnt ready for a new relationship yet, then he shouldn't have started one. I felt that I had wasted 6 monthes to a year of my life on someone who didn't really want to be with me and didn't really love me (like he had been saying). He knew that if she would have tried to see him that she would be ALL over him. And he kept saying that it wouldn't have and he just wanted to talk and maybe give her a little hug. And I told him I didn't like the sound of it at all. So after 2 hours of both of us crying one night... he apologized and said when he got enough money, that he would buy a new cell phone, lose her number, and she would no longer have his.


So I was able to forgive... yet I can't forget. No matter how much I try! No matter how much I want to! And I believe its brought my trust level for him so far down, that I've gotten to where I continually want to know what he's doing and where he's going and how long. Is that bad considering his past? And what should I do now? I love him so much and he's been very honest with me ever since this happened (like he said the night when I found out what he had done... "[He] made a mistake, and [he] won't ever do it again, because [I'm] the best thing that has ever happened to [him] and [he] almost lost me [then], and [he] doesn't want to lose or almost lose [me] ever again.") but I want my trust for him to become stronger... What should I do?
 
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Icouldwriteabook is offline Icouldwriteabook Post #2  March 6,2009, 3:31pm
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Um, you CAN delete a phone number from your cell and then when it comes up as "unknown" just don't answer. Or even, if it does have her number, again he could just choose to NOT answer. Also, with most cell phone providers, can't you just call them and say "hey, I want to change my number?" I am pretty sure you do not have to buy a whole new phone. Even worse than the calling her issue is the lying about it. It would make me wonder what else he has lied about and not got caught in.
 
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photocrazybaby1507 is offline photocrazybaby1507 Post #3  March 6,2009, 6:59pm
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misses her man... haven't seen him for a week

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That makes complete sense! I know I asked him to do that but he just said "No, I need a new one anyways..." which led me to believe for a while that he was still talking to her some, just not as often. Not to mention right before all this happened, we went to my best friend's mom's birthday party (my best friends parents just recently got divorced btw) and he decided that he was gonna let 2 girls about a year younger than me (he's a year older than me) hit on him AND take his phone and give them their numbers... actually this is when the whole trust issue REALLY started... he told me they were just looking at his phone before dinner then after dinner my best friend suggested I check to make sure... so I checked his phone while he was in the shower (this party was at a camp on a lake so we swam and stayed in cabins over night, etc.) and he came walking out and couldn't find it, then saw my best friend looking behind my back at it and got angry... needless to say he has never called the girls, but he still has the numbers in his phone. Not to mention, when we went swimming the next day he was flirting with the girls and kept telling me "well I'm trying to give you and your friend some time since yall barely see each other" (considering she lived 2 hours away at the time), Uhhh yeah right, bullcrap. I told him I wanted all 3 of us to hangout because I wanted my best friend to 'approve' my boyfriend, and to this day he believes that she hates him, because he didn't listen to me and he never let her have the chance to even talk to him.
 
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit is offline glassonlyhalffull_fillit Post #4  March 7,2009, 5:38am
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Bottom line, he disrespects you, and you need to decide how long you will put up with it
 
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