How to Talk to your Mate about their Weight

How to Talk to your Mate about their Weight

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How to Talk to your Mate about their Weight


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  February 19,2009, 6:10pm

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Talking to someone about their weight is the last thing any one wants to do, but when a person's health is at risk, it's necessary. Here's how to talk to your mate about thier weight without crushing their self-esteem.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  February 19,2009, 8:20pm
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This is great advice for a relationship advice site.
 
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InLoveAgain is offline InLoveAgain Post #3  February 20,2009, 7:27am
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I think that addressing the person's health, in relation to their weight, is how to approach it properly. No matter how sincere you may be, it might very easily be interpreted as you being unhappy with their weight as opposed to true concern about their health. Of course, as in any relationship issue, communication, and the degree to which you've created open communication prior to this, will be a major consideration.
 
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DearJohn is offline DearJohn Post #4  February 20,2009, 7:32am
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shygrrl,495566 wrote :


This is innappropriate advice for a dating advice site.


I agree!


Since "mate" is refered to in the plural "their" rather than the singular ("his" or "her"), this post is obviously promoting a polygamist agenda!
 
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tweet37 is online now tweet37 Post #5  February 20,2009, 7:58am
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Gee....I wish I read this article before I told her she was fat.
 
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marysophia is offline marysophia Post #6  February 20,2009, 8:20am
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Well, this was obviously written by someone never in the situation. You make it sound so easy, an article like yours is condescending. Are you implying that a serious problem like this could just be solved if someone would follow your easy, simple suggestions? Yeah, right.


The best thing I ever heard about weight problems is this - someone with a serious weight problem always has a serious emotional problem too.


I dated someone who was obese, not because I was physically attracted, but because I really liked him as a person. In the beginning, he offered to lose weight for me because he said I deserved someone in better shape, but he didn't stick to it. His eating habits were terrible and unhealthy - it went beyond fattening stuff - he doesn't want to believe in vegetables, vitamins, doctors, etc. He is a walking advertisement for heart attack risk. He would not listen to my concern about his health and my suggestions or offers to help him. He did not want to hear me say that the state of his health caused me constant worry and stress. He would accuse me of being "mean" whenever I brought it up.


I have kept him as a friend, but I don't need to be tied at the hip to someone like that, he was pulling me down with him and I gained a lot of weight when we were together.
 
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Scotch is offline Scotch Post #7  February 20,2009, 9:32am
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I think it is good advice and an issue many deal with but do not know how to bring up - it is important to approach in a really sensitive manner!
 
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wtfdotcom is offline wtfdotcom Post #8  February 20,2009, 12:00pm
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the article left out the part about the bullet-proof vest...
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #9  February 20,2009, 2:35pm
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wtfdotcom,496622 wrote :

the article left out the part about the bullet-proof vest...
You shouldn't wear those - they make you look fat.
 
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be11ad0nna is offline be11ad0nna Post #10  February 20,2009, 4:03pm
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Here's the best advice for talking to someone about their weight: When the conversation starts, if you are the one who is being told you have a weight problem - walk - no, RUN - away. If someone is unhappy with your habits and appearance they will never be satisfied. Once you lose 20 lbs they will want 25. Once you lose 30 lbs they will want you to have perkier breasts. While you're doing that you might as well have a tummy tuck too. Andon and on and on.


I have dated men like this - and when the subject of losing weight comes up, I walk away. If they can't deal with me flaws and all, then I can't deal with them either. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and they can find someone who will obsess about the physical with them - and I can find someone whoappreciates the wonderfulness of me, both body andmind.
 
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