I CAME HERE AT A TIME THAT I WAS SO FRUSTRATED AND GETTING READY TO END IT. BUT IT WAS BECAUSE OF THAT, THAT WE HAVE REALLY BEEN TALKING AND COMMUNICATING WITH EACH OTHER. I HAVE KIND OF BEEN GOING THROUGH ALL THIS WITH YOU GUYS STEP BY STEP AS I AM GOING THROUGH THE CHANGING EMOTIONS OF EACH DAY. AND I SO APPRECIATE THE HELP I AM GETTING. BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN PULLING YOU ALL INTO ALL MY OF MY OWN EMOTIONS, I DONT THINK YOU HAVE GIVENYOU A CLEAR PICTURE OF HIS PERCEPTION OF ALL OF THIS.


IF HE WERE HERE TELLING HIS SIDE OF THE STORY IT WOULD GO LIKE THIS. I WAS MARRIED FOR 30 YEARS AND DEVASTATED OVER THE END OF MY MARRIAGE. WHEN I MET MY CURRENT GIRLFRIEND IT WAS THE BEST THING I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. SHE WAS WONDERFUL. BUT I WAS TORN OVER CARING FOR HER AND NOT BEING HEALED FROM MY PAST. IT WAS TO SOON FOR ME TO BE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP AND I KNOW THAT NOW. IT WOULD NOT HAVE MATTERED WHO IT WAS,, I WAS JUST NOT READY. BUT MY GIRLFRIEND BEGAN PUSHING ME FOR AN ANSWER AND A COMMITMENT IN OUR 3RD YEAR AND I WAS NOT READY. I FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS WRONG OR MISSING BUT DID NOT KNOW WHAT IT WAS. I WENT TO A THEREAPIST WHO SUGGESTTED I START MEETING OTHER WOMEN AND SHE TOLD ME THIS WOULD HELP ME. I WAS IN SO MUCH TERMOIL THAT I AGREED. SHE HAD ME MEET A WOMEN THAT LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE MY EX WIFE. I FELT A STRONG ATTRACTION TO HER AND FELT REALLY GOOD HAVING SOMEONE LIKE THAT NOT REJECTING ME (LIKE MY WIFE DID). I REALIZE "NOW" THAT IT WAS NOT SO MUCH THIS WOMEN I WAS FEELING ATTRACTTED TO, BUT RATHER SEEING THE GHOST OF MY EX WIFE. "AT THE TIME" I THOUGHT IF I FELT SO MUCH ATTRACTION TO THIS WOMEN IT MUST MEAN THAT I SHOULD NOT BE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE IT WAS HOW DIFFERENT THEY LOOKED THAT WAS MY PROBLEM (BECAUSE I COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT ELSE IT WOULD BE SINCE EVERYTHING ELSE WAS PERFECT). I ALSO WAS GETTING ALOT OF "ENCOURAGMENT" FROM THIS THERAPIST (WHO I NOW KNOW WAS BEING UNETHICAL AND WRONG), BUT AT THE TIME I TRUSTED HER. I REALLY DID NOT FEEL "AT THE TIME" THAT I WAS CHEATING BECAUSE ALL I WAS DOING WAS GOING TO TALK TO THIS WOMEN SO I COULD FIGURE OUT MY FEELING AND WHAT MY PROBLEM WAS. (I KNOW BETTER NOW, AND I FEEL HORRIBLE AND FEEL SO REGRETFUL THAT I HURT MY GIRLFRIEND).I FELT LIKE I HAD TO FIGURE OUT MY FEELINGS SOMEHOW BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO HER WHAT MY EX WIFE DID TO ME. I DID NOT WANT TOMAKE A WRONG DECSION ABOUT US AND REALIZE LATER IN LIFE I WAS WRONG.AFTER I HAD BEGUN TO SORT OUT MY FEELINGS AND REALIZE THAT MY PROBLEM WAS THAT I JUST WANSNT READY BEFORE! I THINK I WAS ALWAYS IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AND JUST COULD NOT SEE IT AT THE TIME. WE HAVE HAD A REAL HARD TIME IN THE LAST 2 YEARS BECAUSE OF THIS AND I STILL LOVE HER AND WANT TO MARRY HER BUT SHE HAS DOUT ABOUT MY FEELINGS NOW. WE HAVE NOT HAD MUCH OF A RELATIONSHIP IN THE LAST 2 YEARS AND I STILL FIND MYSELF FEELING LIKE SHE IS THE ONE FOR ME (IF ONLLY SHE COULD BELEIVE AND GET BACK TO HOW WE USE TO BE). THE WHOLE THING WITH HER HAVING A DIFFERENT LOOK AND ALL THAT STUPID STUFF DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE. SHE IS VERY DIFFERENT THAN MY EX WIFE OR THIS OTHER WOMEN THAT I WAS TALKING TO THAT RESEMBLED MY EX WIFE. SHE HAS A TOTALLY DIFFERENT LOOK THAT I WAS NOT ACCUSTUME TO SINCE I HAD SPENT 30 YEARS WITH MY WIFE. SO I EXPLAIN TO HER THAT MY ATTRACTION IS "DIFFERENT" THAN IT WAS FOR THEM,,, BUT THAT WHAT I FEEL HER IS "BETTER".


OK, "IF" IT WAS HIM TALKING THIS IS WHAT HE WOULD HE BE SAYING TO YOU GUYS. SO HOPEFULLY YOU WILL SEE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY. SOO,,,,,,,,,, OPINIONS????