Have You Ever Been Called a "Nothing?"


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notyet is offline notyet Post #51  February 5,2009, 1:01pm
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constantseeker,472275 wrote :


Okay, time out you guys... I reacted badly the other night and may have come off as trying to do the same thing. Both of you sound like hands-on fathers who may or may not have deserved what happened, ...


that is an olive branch?
 
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cath817 is offline cath817 Post #52  February 5,2009, 2:26pm
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I find it interesting that nobody suggested maybe the 13 year old son was manipulating things in any way. I remember being 13 and I remember my kids being 13, as well as having dated someone with a teenager who was 14. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for and if the son has decided that he totally likes having mom and/or dad all to himself, what better way to try to rock whichever boat isn't going the direction he wants it to go than to get mom and dad at odds?


Please understand thatI'm not saying he's a bad kid, just that maybe he's trying to work circumstances so things go the way he wants them to...like always having whichever parent he's staying with all to himself.
 
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cynamon68 is offline cynamon68 Post #53  February 6,2009, 6:03am
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cath817,472934 wrote :

I find it interesting that nobody suggested maybe the 13 year old son was manipulating things in any way. I remember being 13 and I remember my kids being 13, as well as having dated someone with a teenager who was 14. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for and if the son has decided that he totally likes having mom and/or dad all to himself, what better way to try to rock whichever boat isn't going the direction he wants it to go than to get mom and dad at odds?


Please understand thatI'm not saying he's a bad kid, just that maybe he's trying to work circumstances so things go the way he wants them to...like always having whichever parent he's staying with all to himself.
Excellent Point......when my son was 13-15....he could play the manipulation game very well. Finally his dad and I talked about what was going on and we both came to a mutual decision on how to handle his behavior.
 
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constantseeker is offline constantseeker Post #54  February 6,2009, 6:26am
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[quote=notyet,472792]




constantseeker,472275 wrote :


Okay, time out you guys... I reacted badly the other night and may have come off as trying to do the same thing. Both of you sound like hands-on fathers who may or may not have deserved what happened, ...


that is an olive branch?
 
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constantseeker is offline constantseeker Post #55  February 6,2009, 6:42am
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cynamon68,473977 wrote :

cath817,472934 wrote :


I find it interesting that nobody suggested maybe the 13 year old son was manipulating things in any way. I remember being 13 and I remember my kids being 13, as well as having dated someone with a teenager who was 14. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for and if the son has decided that he totally likes having mom and/or dad all to himself, what better way to try to rock whichever boat isn't going the direction he wants it to go than to get mom and dad at odds?


Please understand thatI'm not saying he's a bad kid, just that maybe he's trying to work circumstances so things go the way he wants them to...like always having whichever parent he's staying with all to himself.


Excellent Point......when my son was 13-15....he could play the manipulation game very well. Finally his dad and I talked about what was going on and we both came to a mutual decision on how to handle his behavior.
You both have a good point about the manipulation thing. It doesn't appear outwardly that he is doing this, and my son and I have a very close relationship (or so I think), but I have been counseled on this before. Since his father and I cannot talk rationally, I'm not sure if we can work it out. I decided to just stay out of things;I'llbe my son'ssounding board, be a decent role model and provide a safe and solid home environment when he's with me. That's all I can do. Thanks for the advice.
 
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