What do you do when you're in love with someone, but you're not in a relationship with them and you know that entering into one would be a huge, terrible mistake? Worse of all, what do you do when they're a very close friend?


I have a woman that I've fallen for rather hard. The problem is that I need someone that's emotionally available in a relationship. This woman is one of the most emotionally closed off individuals I've ever met. Seriously. She'll disappear from contact for a month at a time from all of her friends because she doesn't want to be around people. I'm probably the closest to her, and even then I only get hints and vagueness about her feelings. There's never anything concrete, and I need concrete. I need affection and openness in a relationship to feel comfortable and valued. I know I won't get these things from her, so I don't try to take it any further. But I can't shake it. I can't just ignore the feelings I have for her. I don't know where to put them or how to focus them, but I know that pining for her and wishing for something more isn't healthy. And while I'm generally the kind of friend that likes to try to fly in and solve everyone's problems, I know that I can't do that. Especially with her. She's stated, repeatedly, that she doesn't like being close to people and would rather face her issues alone.


Do I tell her how I feel and see how she reacts? What if she not only shuts that down, but shuts me out as a result of it because now I've made things weird? If I did tell her how I felt, is saying something along the lines of, "I'm in love with you, but I know we'd be awful in a relationship" endearing or offending?


Thanks for any help/guidance on this.