Rebounds

I have a question maybe some of you folks can address.


I always hear about rebound relationships. Have any of you had a rebound type relationship that actually lasted or worked out for the two of you?

Yes and I'm still in it, however, we did take a break which cleared the rebound fog. Indeed, we are admittedly two different people now. I don't believe that they ever work from the get go.


I define rebound SO as someone who replentishes your needs/wants that were deprived in the prior relationship. Since the rebound process is not your normal behavior either, as you are making up for lost love, I doubt they would ever work. My hypothesis is that a sustainable relationship needs a level foundation in which to be grounded. Almost by definition, those in a rebound relationship are not "of stable mind".


After abt 18mos of healing from the split from ex wife (20+ yrs together), I met and began to date my rebound girl. The clock started when I got over the hurt of the ex and was looking inward and forward to rebuild myself. Only thru the benefit of hindsight am I now able to see that the deficit of lovings created over time with the ex had indeed distorted my needs/wants during my new relationship. Sure, I did know that my feelings for her, which had gone parabolic, were unsustainable at the time. However so much more was off kilter that I cld not see then that only time could help illuminate them. Fortunately, we split up for abt 4 months and we both dated others, fully convinced that we would not get back together. The time apart was necessary to reflect and reaffirm priorities and fill many voids. We met again by chance and rekindled the fire. we are now exclusive and hopefully on a better footing to meet and overcome the challenges ahead.

by the very definition a rebound is going to be a disaster





doesn't it imply a person using you to get over their ex? How can that end nicely?

i dont think the intention (usually) is to use someone to get over x. i think they want to move on and find someone who feels good,, but dont realize they need more time to get over their x. moving on to quickly hinders their ability to heal correctlly. its like trying to love twopeople at the same time. ive been with the guy that i was a rebound for, for about 8 years now. he did love me and it was wonderful. until he realized he was so confused becuase he wasnt really over his breakup. at that point he did alot of stupid stuff and caused alot of damage to us. by the time he realized i was the one he wanted hed done alot of damage which we had trying to heal from for a couple years now. he said to me last night that he was thinking about our first 3 years together and knows now he was in love me but could not regonize it,,and that he would do anything to have that back now. rebound is about trying to move on before your healed,,,, not so much about using the other person.

I have the ultimate rebound story...my friend was divorced last year due to his wife cheating on him..they have 2 young children and shared custody. He had short lasting flings with a bunch of women since being divorced last February. He then asked a cousin of his friend to dinner and 10 weeks later married her last week in Vegas. That is a rebound relationship I think...CAN 2 people really be in love after 10 weeks and can that last? Oh..and his new wife actually had a relationship with his X wifes now SO and they hate each other! What do you even say to a friend that tells you that? Good luck I guess!

I have the ultimate rebound story...my friend was divorced last year due to his wife cheating on him..they have 2 young children and shared custody. He had short lasting flings with a bunch of women since being divorced last February. He then asked a cousin of his friend to dinner and 10 weeks later married her last week in Vegas. That is a rebound relationship I think...CAN 2 people really be in love after 10 weeks and can that last? Oh..and his new wife actually had a relationship with his X wifes now SO and they hate each other! What do you even say to a friend that tells you that? Good luck I guess!