Betrayal: 5 Steps to Help You Move Forward

Betrayal: 5 Steps to Help You Move Forward

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Betrayal: 5 Steps to Help You Move Forward


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  January 23,2009, 8:27am

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If you've recently suffered the sting of betrayal, you probably feel like your life is spinning out of control. Between the tears, humiliation, and confusion, you may wonder how you'll ever survive. What follows are five crucial steps to successfully move forward and beat the bite of betrayal.
 
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Scotch is offline Scotch Post #2  January 23,2009, 8:27am
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Another thoughtful article - I really like what was said about realizing that when someone betrays you it isnt about you or anything you did -- but their deficiencies.
 
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karanina is offline karanina Post #3  January 25,2009, 7:49pm
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hi i have just join


my relashionspih of over 20 years has ended my ex left because he fell in love with some one else and she makes him fill alive were i was to involved with my work with taking care of our family and home and him that I forgot to stroke is ego...


I feel just like you have said in the five steps but I;m not able to moveon.


but i will do my best to put it into action.
 
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papova is offline papova Post #4  January 27,2009, 5:19pm
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karanina,452863 wrote :

hi i have just join


my relashionspih of over 20 years has ended my ex left because he fell in love with some one else and she makes him fill alive were i was to involved with my work with taking care of our fainmily and home and him that I forgot to stroke is ego...


I feel just like you have said in the five steps but I;m not able to moveon.


but i will do my best to put it into action.
You will make it sweetie.........if he left you because you were so busy working trying to take care of your family and he didn't appreciate that, come on! Was he out working and taking care of you???? somehow I doubt it. Men and ego's....it's just insecurity and their need to have a mother around to stroke the ego. Do women need that?? I don't think so...most women just need to feel appreciated for everything they do...not to have someone tell them how fabulous they are every minute.
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #5  January 27,2009, 9:07pm
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karanina,452863 wrote :

hi i have just join


my relashionspih of over 20 years has ended my ex left because he fell in love with some one else and she makes him fill alive were i was to involved with my work with taking care of our family and home and him that I forgot to stroke is ego...


I feel just like you have said in the five steps but I;m not able to moveon.


but i will do my best to put it into action.
Of course he tried to put all the blame on you and ithad nothing to do with the Mid Life Crisis he was going through and the fear of getting older . . . which pretty much makes him a coward, so he really doesn't deserve to be with a woman who is strong and capable and committed to family.


I'd be a little more then pissed off myself after 20 years of hard labor and you look forward to going places and doing things together with your mate after all that work and then he bails on you. I hope you're getting alimony and child support.


You will get through this but it will take time and be sure you give yourself that time to heal. This is not easy thing but your life will turn out much better in the long run not havingan albatross hanging on your neck.
 
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rarara is offline rarara Post #6  January 31,2009, 5:05am
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :
If you've recently suffered the sting of betrayal, you probably feel like your life is spinning out of control. Between the tears, humiliation, and confusion, you may wonder how you'll ever survive. What follows are five crucial steps to successfully move forward and beat the bite of betrayal.
It took me a whole year to move forward. You can't rush those five steps. It takes lots and lots of time. For me it was impossible to start a new relationship during that time. I'm not sure I've forgiven him. I've just forgotten him. Actually he contacted me today for the first time in 9 months. I deleted the message unread.
 
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P2009 is offline P2009 Post #7  February 1,2009, 9:26am
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I have been reading the posted comments and am myself in the same situation. After more than 25 years together my partner told me a week ago that it was time to get her life back and have fun. Never mind that I would like the same thing since I have been supporting her thru thick and thin. The hardest part is dealing with the anger and despair I've been feeling. Every penny we had went into buying a house a year and a half ago and it is the first thing she wants to dump, no matter that we will both lose our shirts in this market. How do you deal with the betrayal when your financial future is on the rocks? Selling this house would put me into the poorhouse most likely for the rest of my life and besides the emotional devestation of losing my "best friend", that is the hardest thing I have been grappling with. Thankyou for your article on the 5 steps. I am planning to study them and work on them today, tomorrow and for as long as it takes to heal from this betrayal.
 
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42jvmhs is offline 42jvmhs Post #8  February 1,2009, 5:08pm
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what if you never forget?
 
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lovinlife49 is offline lovinlife49 Post #9  February 4,2009, 1:32pm
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karanina,452863 wrote :

hi i have just join


my relashionspih of over 20 years has ended my ex left because he fell in love with some one else and she makes him fill alive were i was to involved with my work with taking care of our family and home and him that I forgot to stroke is ego...


I feel just like you have said in the five steps but I;m not able to moveon.


but i will do my best to put it into action.
For I Have Just Join:


My heart goes out to you. My ex left me 2 years ago, 9 months after movingme and our 2 young teen sons500 miles away from our hometown. He thenmoved 5 states away to start a businessand to be withthe new love who is 22 years younger.


I have been in counselling alone and with my sons. It is baby steps. Moving on is a process. Sometimes you feel great and like you are moving ahead and sometimes you feel like you are going backwards. Live one day at a time, do caring things for yourself and reach out to your friends. Don't expect too much from yourself. Sometimes just getting through the day is enough. Be patient. I now realizethat I amworthy person and I am beginning to embrace life again.
 
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Susan22 is offline Susan22 Post #10  February 5,2009, 6:28am
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As a single parent I was reluctant to really let a man inot my life and when I did it was wonderful at first.


Yet, by the time I found out he was courting his ex-wife behind my back - it was too late. I was emotionally invested and my daughter had come to accept his presence. It has been a long road back after letting that trust be damaged - again. However, you have to move on forgive yourself and treat each day as a gift.


Susan
 
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