Am I breaking up or what?

I met my best friend several years ago and along the way I fell head over heels in love with her. The problem is, she is in a relationship and they have a 1 year baby. When we first met, she had just ended her relationship. We never dated, but felt a very strong mutual attraction. However, she soon found out that she was pregnant. It happend the last night they were together. Still she didn't think he would want anything to do with it so our feeling or at least mine continued to grow. Well, boyfriend decided he wanted to be in the picture and my friend went back to him, against the advice of most of her family and friends. She had been married and divorced twice before and has a child from each marrage, She really wanted a shot at being with the father of at least one of her children.


I kind of understood that, but still thought their relationship would never last. I still believe it is doomed to fail at some point but she keeps giving him 1 last chance after 1 last chance.


Our friendship continued and I even got to like the boyfriend as a friend but still feel they are not right for each other. I think she is just as dangerous to him as he is to her. I tried to tell myself, that I wanted her in my life in what ever possible so I accepted the friendship only.


After about a 1 1/2 years of this, I finally told her how I felt. It was during one of their many fights, he went out drinking or probably more and probably with other women. I explained that I loved her and really had since the very beginning and thatI thought she must have known that since almost everyone else who every saw us together figured it out. I also told her that I loved her son as if he were my own and it would be an honor to help her raise him if the BF continued to flake out. She acknowledged that she supected and her boyfriend probably did to, but when she decided to go back to her boyfriend, she wouldn't let herself look at me as anything other than a friend, albiet the best friend she has ever had, eventually I have become the dreaded Big Brother. Even her son knows me as "Uncle".


The friendship went on pretty much as if that conversation never took place, although I am a little more open about my feelings than in the past. However, I know it makes her uncomfortable. I also know her sister pretty well and and she tells to hang on. That she really does love me. In fact when they are together I'm just about the only thing she talks about, even if the boyfriend is present. It's just that she feels that she hasn't been a good mother to her older kids, she doesn't have custody of them but that's another issue, and really wants to be with the baby's father even if she's unhappy in the relationship. Her sister says she will eventually figure ou that is not the best thing for any of them.


I just don't think I can wait anymore and it breaks my heart to see them together and do nothing but fight and argue. They both really deserve better, they just bring out the worst in each other. Each time she takes him back for 1 last chance it just kills me. There isn't anyone else in my life right now except for my children, who also adore her. I have attempted a couple of other relationships over the past couple of years. One was on off again on again thing that never really had a chance to being anything serious, but she got mad and walked out because I was living in a fantasy, one-sided love affair.


That hurt, but I knew it was true. I eventually met someone who might have had some potential at a serious relationship, but I broke it off before it went very far. I was really afraid of it ended like the last one and she didn't deserve that. It was simply that I wasn't able to being in a relationship with anyone with my feelings the way they are.


So, here I am, I know I need to more on, but I don't know how. The thought of walking away and ending contact with her and her son (I really do care a great deal for him) is even more painfull then when my 20 year marriage came to an end. What do I tell her, I can't be your friend anymore because you won't leave boyfriend for me? I know ending our friendship will be hard on her too and she really hasn't done anything but tell me she can only be friends with me. Where do I go from here?

I met my best friend several years ago and along the way I fell head over heels in love with her. The problem is, she is in a relationship and they have a 1 year baby. When we first met, she had just ended her relationship. We never dated, but felt a very strong mutual attraction. However, she soon found out that she was pregnant. It happend the last night they were together. Still she didn't think he would want anything to do with it so our feeling or at least mine continued to grow. Well, boyfriend decided he wanted to be in the picture and my friend went back to him, against the advice of most of her family and friends. She had been married and divorced twice before and has a child from each marrage, She really wanted a shot at being with the father of at least one of her children.


I kind of understood that, but still thought their relationship would never last. I still believe it is doomed to fail at some point but she keeps giving him 1 last chance after 1 last chance.


Our friendship continued and I even got to like the boyfriend as a friend but still feel they are not right for each other. I think she is just as dangerous to him as he is to her. I tried to tell myself, that I wanted her in my life in what ever possible so I accepted the friendship only.


After about a 1 1/2 years of this, I finally told her how I felt. It was during one of their many fights, he went out drinking or probably more and probably with other women. I explained that I loved her and really had since the very beginning and thatI thought she must have known that since almost everyone else who every saw us together figured it out. I also told her that I loved her son as if he were my own and it would be an honor to help her raise him if the BF continued to flake out. She acknowledged that she supected and her boyfriend probably did to, but when she decided to go back to her boyfriend, she wouldn't let herself look at me as anything other than a friend, albiet the best friend she has ever had, eventually I have become the dreaded Big Brother. Even her son knows me as "Uncle".


The friendship went on pretty much as if that conversation never took place, although I am a little more open about my feelings than in the past. However, I know it makes her uncomfortable. I also know her sister pretty well and and she tells to hang on. That she really does love me. In fact when they are together I'm just about the only thing she talks about, even if the boyfriend is present. It's just that she feels that she hasn't been a good mother to her older kids, she doesn't have custody of them but that's another issue, and really wants to be with the baby's father even if she's unhappy in the relationship. Her sister says she will eventually figure ou that is not the best thing for any of them.


I just don't think I can wait anymore and it breaks my heart to see them together and do nothing but fight and argue. They both really deserve better, they just bring out the worst in each other. Each time she takes him back for 1 last chance it just kills me. There isn't anyone else in my life right now except for my children, who also adore her. I have attempted a couple of other relationships over the past couple of years. One was on off again on again thing that never really had a chance to being anything serious, but she got mad and walked out because I was living in a fantasy, one-sided love affair.


That hurt, but I knew it was true. I eventually met someone who might have had some potential at a serious relationship, but I broke it off before it went very far. I was really afraid of it ended like the last one and she didn't deserve that. It was simply that I wasn't able to being in a relationship with anyone with my feelings the way they are.


So, here I am, I know I need to more on, but I don't know how. The thought of walking away and ending contact with her and her son (I really do care a great deal for him) is even more painfull then when my 20 year marriage came to an end. What do I tell her, I can't be your friend anymore because you won't leave boyfriend for me? I know ending our friendship will be hard on her too and she really hasn't done anything but tell me she can only be friends with me. Where do I go from here?