It sounds like you're not over him...and you should be by now.


But, to address the specific issue, the problem I see in relationships like this is the disparity in power, experience, and options. Sometimes, May/December romances are made for good, sound reasons. A lot of times, however, it has to do with creating an unbalanced dynamic where the older partner, male or female, has more power in the relationship.


My concern with that is the motivation behind choosing a partner...choosing someone who is not your equal and who doesn't have the social/education skills and advantages to really make a true choice. The relationship may appear mutually beneficial, but it is more of a mutually parasitic situation. If he encourages her personal growth, that's one thing. If the success of the relationship depends on her staying in a less-advantaged position, that's problematic.


There's an interesting documentary called Cowboy del Amour about an American man who married a woman from Mexico because he was tired of the attitude of American women. He brought her here when she spoke no English, had no friends, and no work skills. As she began to grow as a person, he protested...didn't want her to learn English, didn't want her to have activities outside of taking care of him. She eventually left him. Now he brokers deals for other American men looking for the same thing...but his own experience proves the dynamic is a problematic one.


If your primary purpose in choosing a partner is to gratify your own needs at the expense of limiting another person's growth, I would take issue. There are those who will say that she is free to choose and that she gets something out of it that is beneficial to her. That may or may not be true. There are also those who say that all prostitutes make the choice to do what they do, but the truth is a bit more complicated.