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Zayati Zayati is offline
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maybe they entered in relationship accidentally.......
- January 5th, 2009, 07:31 am
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canadienjoy canadienjoy is offline
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I CAN CERTAINLY RELATE TO THIS, WE WERE IN A LONG DISTANT RELATIONSHIP FOR SIX MONTHS AND HE WITHDREW 3 MONTHS BEFORE I MOVE BACK TO OUR HOME TOWN. I AM SO HURT AS WE JUST SPENT CHRISTMAS TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHERS FAMILIES HE SAYS THERE IS NO ONE ELSE. IT IS HARD NOT TO CALL I CARE TO MUCH I GUESS.
- January 5th, 2009, 10:53 am
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chicchik chicchik is offline
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Fantastic article!!! I have just been in the midst of such a scenario and have decided to give him some space...it seems that it is exactly what the doctor ordered!
- January 5th, 2009, 07:58 pm
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chicchik chicchik is offline
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delaney2009 wrote :

intense wrote :


delaney2009 wrote :


Going through it right now. It was him who was pushing for more.After dating for 2 months,when I finally let my guard down (I have been through a divorce)he hasn't called or communicated for 3 days. I don't get it. What did I do wrong?


going through the same...if you solve your mystery, let me know


I have decided to let it go. If they aren't treating us with the respect that we deserve (by not communicating it is disrespectful) then they aren't for us. Hard though... kind of kicks you in the teeth. When I posted first, I was devastated. Still hurt, but have decided that I don't want that kind of man. Good luck... feel good about yourself.
Iunderstand your pain. You didn't do anything wrong. Unfortunately, many men who have been hurt in the past are 'emotional lightweights'. So while it is natural to let down your guard as you get closer, it just freaks them out a bit when you open up. Let him digest and give him some space (they seem to need to go into their caves to 'do their thing'). If he cares, and it appears that he does from what you said (that he was pushing for more), he'll likelycome around. Just be patient, have faith and keep yourself busy and positive. God Bless.
- January 5th, 2009, 08:06 pm
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angelofmerci angelofmerci is offline
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livingdeadgirl wrote :

What about things are great and then his exwife drops the bomb she is going through therapy and wants him to come with to see where they went wrong and to try and reconcile and be a family again, and he jumps on it--just a few hours after telling me that there's no hope for them every getting back together! I feel so used and devastated! He was just telling me how much he loved me and then BAM! She pulls this stunt, just because he was an idiot and told her I was in town and that he loved me...
I was just the opposite of your guy. I had a stormy 8 yr marriage with two separations. Both times we went to counseling then got back together. The last time when we got back together I informed my wife if she so much as mentioned divorce I would give her one and never look back. Over the course of time I noticed her lack of enthusiasm for the marriage. I confronted her with this then filed for divorce. During the next two months I met the woman of my dreams. As we were enjoying a good conversation the phone rings. It is my ex wife wanting me to come over to talk. I told her if the talk was about getting back together she could forget it as I had found someone I was truly interested in and was not about to give her up. Three weeks later my ex moved back to where her family lived. I considered this good riddance.
- January 6th, 2009, 09:15 am
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msp1 msp1 is offline
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit wrote :

Takes a moment to breathe


Often times the man pushes and rushes us until you let your guard down, then BAM, they withdraw or run. Time for men to step up and be sure you know what you want beforehand. Don't rush us then panic onceyou've pushed us to the same page.
glassonlyhalffull......I have to agree with you! I am at the age where games should not be played in a relationship only on a playing field, like football, so why do me feel they don't have to step up to the plate in order to play?


Don't get me wrong ladiescan play games too, however what you mention just happened to me from someone on Eharmony. Amazing at his/my age he talked a good game, but when it came to actually suit up it was the wrong sport. Just my opinion!
- January 6th, 2009, 05:33 pm
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shirey shirey is offline
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Number one and two described the man I have been dating for the last 5 years and I have decided that I am going to give him his space. This is a new year and I do not have the patience to wait for a man to make up his mind on whether or not he wants a serious relationship or not. Life is too short to waste it someone who don't want or share the same things I do, so the best thing to do is give him his space-permanently!
- January 6th, 2009, 06:38 pm
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girly22 girly22 is offline
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I am so irritated with these notions about women and dating. Like we're these helpless little pups waiting to be chosen. Whether it is TV or magazines or this very article, I am so tired of the impressions that men are superior and the ball is always in their court. I get the idea that womens' behavior is expected to continuously adapt to the men. "Guy's don't like this." and "Don't do that or you'll push him away." What aboutwhat women don't like?!?!?Now I'm sure there are "crazy" and/or "clingy" women out there, but I feel that men need to step up and take responsibility for their actions also. Men can be very cold and naturally lack empathy. I am a down-to-earth and independent woman, if a man withdraws from me, he's done and we weren't meant to be. I'm not going to drive myself crazy analyzingmy behavior, wondering "Where did I go wrong?" Ladies, I believe we have to start demanding more from men, rather than always being the ones to compromise. Even as I look at 4 out of 6 of the popluar links and articles right above my comment...."Why men cheat during the holidays" "What men really want" "Top5 male turnoffs" and finally "5 types of women that men avoid" IS THIS SERIOUS?!? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!


I'm pretty disappointed in eharmony for advocating these ideas....
- January 7th, 2009, 10:18 am
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dtg_diz dtg_diz is offline
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I agree that men and women can bring comparable amounts of crap to relationships but since I only date men I will address my answer as such.


I have found that men will work like a dog to get you roped in and as soon as they have you hooked, in their eyes, they start the game. Thats when they start moving boundries. Respectful habits they had vanish. (ex. calling if they are going to be late) Time together seems to become more onesided. They want to keep you close enough they have an eye on you but still maintain their available bachelor status.
- January 7th, 2009, 11:07 am
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poetryinmotion poetryinmotion is offline
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glassonlyhalffull_fillit wrote :

Takes a moment to breathe***


Often times the man pushes and rushes us until you let your guard down, then BAM, they withdraw or run. Time for men to step up and be sure you know what you want beforehand. Don't rush us then panic once*you've pushed us to the same page.
This seems to often be the case. I could never figure this out. Is there some special awful thing that happens when you develop the same feelings as a man has displayed for you only to experience hurt and disregard once this is expressed? It's almost automatic. The only way to keep a man on the case is not to care too much but then, that's creepy. At least I can't even kiss a person I'm not crazy about. Why can't things just be nice, and the guy to stay around awhile so you can enjoy each other?
- January 8th, 2009, 01:01 pm
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