rarangure is offline rarangure Post #1  December 3,2008, 6:55pm
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OK...I have DEFINITE views on this subject, not just based on the fact that I'm a Christian, but just on simple morals.


A friend of mine told me that he and his ex-girlfriend got involved in that. According to him, he said he only did it because SHE wanted to, and he loved her so much that he went along with it, as any "good partner would who wants to make his partner happy"....RIGHT!


He said it was not like what he was expecting, didn't give me any details, because EEEWWW...didn't want any....


But said that it was no big deal, he has no regrets, nobody got hurt, no damage was done, and it didn't affect him one way or the other.


Now, he's not a Christian, but even among those who claim no faith, is it really that simple of a thing? Something that really can be carried out in a supposedly committed relationship?
 
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gr8guy is offline gr8guy Post #2  December 3,2008, 7:08pm
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I never understood swinging. I just don't get it.
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #3  December 3,2008, 7:28pm

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i haven't been to a park ina while so, no swinging more me
 
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DreamingOfAtlantis is offline DreamingOfAtlantis Post #4  December 3,2008, 8:35pm
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Personally, I prefer not to waste my time judging others. If they're hurting me or seriously hurting others, that's one thing, but if they're just doing something in private that they've all agreed to, then I don't see wh there's any reason for the rest of us, outside those closed doors, should really care what they're doing.



With that having been said, I have a friend who is, as she describes it, polyamarous. She has a boyfriend and they both date other people. She's as interested in women as in men. She's been in several polyamary societies. Those groups tend to not like swingers because they say they're about the interaction and caring and swingers are about just sex. Whatever. What I have noticed, though, is that she'll get involved with a couple, then they expect her to be only with them and get upset if she strays. Overall, from her, I hear about a LOT of drama in any of those groups. None of them come close to their ideal of people being able to have sex with multiple partners without other things getting in the way. I'm constantly hearing about how this couple is jealous of that one or that one guy is upset because now someone is sleeping with the other guy's wife he slept with last week and so on.


I've only heard about a small sampling of what goes on in these groups from one person, but considering that she doesn't tend to seek drama, yet keeps finding it in every group like this she's tried (and she's searched the state), I'm more and more convinced that this kind of lifestyle creates a lot of issues even for people that don't mind multiple partners.
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #5  December 3,2008, 9:21pm
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rarangure, wrote :

OK...I have DEFINITE views on this subject, not just based on the fact that I'm a Christian, but just on simple morals.


A friend of mine told me that he and his ex-girlfriend got involved in that. According to him, he said he only did it because SHE wanted to, and he loved her so much that he went along with it, as any "good partner would who wants to make his partner happy"....RIGHT!


He said it was not like what he was expecting, didn't give me any details, because EEEWWW...didn't want any....


But said that it was no big deal, he has no regrets, nobody got hurt, no damage was done, and it didn't affect him one way or the other.


Now, he's not a Christian, but even among those who claim no faith, is it really that simple of a thing? Something that really can be carried out in a supposedly committed relationship?
Yeah, let's see how this plays out in a year or two in their relationship. I'm not a strict moral code kind of girl, but I gotta draw the line here. No one comes out unscathed when they do something like this. It may not have an immediate effect, but I know couples who have done this and over time, they've said they wish they never had because it changed their relationship together and with some, it tore them apart.


Love doesn't ask a person to do something that could potentially be destructive. Curiosity and compulsiveness maybe.


It's just a little over the top for me and when you share your body, you share you psyche as well. It's hard finding one person that understands this and I'm gonna go do that kind of dance? I don't think so.
 
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TekGoNos is offline TekGoNos Post #6  December 3,2008, 9:31pm
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I once read an article about it. I don't remember the exact numbers, but the conclusions were:


1) Most of the time, it's the guy who convinces his girlfriend to try it out.


2) The majority of people don't like it after a try.


3) That being said, women are much more likely to enjoy it than men. Men tend to get jaleous.


But some couples are able to pull it off and it enriches their sex life without affecting their romantic relationship. They are a minority though, even between the couples who are curious and open minded enough to try it.
 
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notamaninpower is offline notamaninpower Post #7  December 4,2008, 12:02pm
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Like Dreaming, I cannot push my morals on others,I can only say what's 'right' for me in any given situation.


This I could NOT do since yes, I DO form an emotional tie/bind to someone I'm that intimate with, and would regret even getting to that point without said emotional involvement.


Also, unlike a lot of other men, this also goes for threesomes. Sorry, but one at a time is enough for me as I like to give my undivided attention and focusto those with whomI'm in love, etc. But, this also includes NOT bringing Jesus, or the 'good book' into the bedroom as a third partner as well!
 
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brianthebrain is offline brianthebrain Post #8  December 4,2008, 12:47pm
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Yeah, I agree with most, if it floats your boat, whatever.


I don't get how people get into sex and have no emotional bonds from it. I'm a guy and I am totally confused at this whole Pickup Artist thing. If you have NO feelings for someone, why would sex be any good? And if you do have feelings for someone why would you move on? Why not stick it out with that person?


I guess some people are less emotionally tied to others and can easily move on.


I get too easily emotionally attached, so I would be a wreck as a swinger. I can't imagine my closest friend having sex with someone else. What's the point of that bond?
 
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ResidentWeirdo is offline ResidentWeirdo Post #9  December 4,2008, 5:55pm
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It's not my thing, but I have no issues with other people doing it. I don't think anything consenting adults do is "immoral." I have two good friends who are in swinger relationships with their partners. Both have been married 10+yrs and have happy families. Swinging enriches their lives, and I think it's a wonderful thing for certain couples. Me, I'm too jealous...but if it works for you, then I'm happy for you!
 
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rarangure is offline rarangure Post #10  December 5,2008, 4:51am
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ResidentWeirdo,369250 wrote :

It's not my thing, but I have no issues with other people doing it. I don't think anything consenting adults do is "immoral." I have two good friends who are in swinger relationships with their partners. Both have been married 10+yrs and have happy families. Swinging enriches their lives, and I think it's a wonderful thing for certain couples. Me, I'm too jealous...but if it works for you, then I'm happy for you!
NOOOOO.....I wouldn't even consider doing it. Even if it weren't for my Christian values, which I realize people don't like having them pushed on them, I feel sex in itself is too personal, too private, too special, and too much of an emotional connection to involved others in it.
 
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