karlrobert is offline karlrobert Post #1  March 11,2008, 12:46pm
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My girlfriend wants to borrow a significant amount of money, about 10K. We've been dating for more than two years now and she wants to borrow the money to help out her family who are facing some financial woes with the current housing crisis. I'm hesitant to lend her the money fearing that this could cause problems later on but the same time, I want to help her out.

Have you ever lent money to a loved one, partner or friend ? What were the challenges that happened ? Is it ever a good idea?
 
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Tigster is offline Tigster Post #2  March 11,2008, 9:58pm
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Imade the mistake of lending a significant amount of money tosomeone who was having a crisis and haven'tseen or talked to them for over 15 years. Keep the money where it belongs "In your bank account". If you decide not to lend the money and your 2 year relationship ends, best to find out before you lend the money instead of after you lend it. I can understand you wanting to help her out, but on the other hand if things go bad, will you be ok with losing 10K?

GoodLuck!

Tig
 
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brit_rose is offline brit_rose Post #3  March 12,2008, 8:13am
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They say never lend money to family and friends. I think thats good advice. I know people who have done both and it always ends up badly - especially with the amount of money you are talking about...how do you expect her to repay you?? (My ex-boyfriend had a cell phone on my family plan, and even that small bill was enough to get between us, when he would rather be giving money hand-over-fist to his ex wife. He still owes me $150!!) Alternatively, go to your bank website and see if you can download a loan repayment schedule - they usually have a spot where you can figure out what the repayments would be over a certain time frame. Lend her the money if you must, but at the same time, present her with this repayment schedule so she - and her family - know you expect it back, and at what rate. And make them sign an agreement! But at the end of the day, as Tig said, you need to figure out if you would be comfortable losing $10K, just in case! If you have any doubt, just watch a couple of episodes of Judge Judy!!
 
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ZOfficial is offline ZOfficial Post #4  March 12,2008, 8:27pm
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I'm going to have to agree with the people here. It's your money. It's not greedy to keep it. The question really is, if you say no will it negativally impact your relationship? Also, would she either attempt to make you feel guilty, or take advantage of the fact that you would feel guilty? At some point in a relationship, some couples view it as "our money".So, I wouldn't completely dismiss this gal because she may get defensive about you lending out the money. Ya, she could be a scam artist, but she might not be. I guess only really you can say weather or not it's a good idea. If you are not OK with lending out that money, then really you shouldn't. It's ok not to be comfortable with that. What you might think about then instead..... is there anotherr way you can help this family other than with money?
 
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GranolaGirl is offline GranolaGirl Post #5  March 12,2008, 8:54pm
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Never loan money to friends or family, unless you never want to see them again! Check out Dave Ramsey's web site - he answers this question in his FAQs.
 
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thesecretofjoy is offline thesecretofjoy Post #6  March 13,2008, 7:02am
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I have a hard time imagining myself asking to borrow 10K from someone. Especailly borrowing it for someone else to use. Can't her family borrow money from a bank? And if they aren't able to borrow from a lending institution, you have to ask yourself if they aren't a good enough credit risk for the bank, do you think they will pay you back?

I say don't do it. The only scenario that ends well isn't the one that' most likely to happen.
 
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MarkInAustin is offline MarkInAustin Post #7  March 13,2008, 5:06pm
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GranolaGirl,69196 wrote :
Never loan money to friends or family, unless you never want to see them again! Check out Dave Ramsey's web site - he answers this question in his FAQs.
I would say that another way of looking at it is: never loan money to friends or family, unless you never want to see *it* (the money) again. If you do decide to loan the money, get a legal document drawn up spelling out the terms of the loan. It isn’t that hard to do, nor is it that expensive. If they balk at signing a note for the loan, then they don’t want a loan, they want a gift.
 
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lm124 is offline lm124 Post #8  March 13,2008, 5:57pm
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If you have plenty of liquid funds avaailable and can truly give it as a gift with love, then go ahead.

it sounds like this is not the case.

 
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Znayesh is offline Znayesh Post #9  March 13,2008, 6:39pm
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My rule of thumb is I don't 'loan' any amount of money I'm not willing to give as a free gift. If I give the money never expecting repayment, then any repayment received is a 'gift' back. Thus the relationship would remain intact.
 
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loonj is offline loonj Post #10  March 18,2008, 5:51pm
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karlrobert, wrote :
My girlfriend wants to borrow a significant amount of money, about 10K. We've been dating for more than two years now and she wants to borrow the money to help out her family who are facing some financial woes with the current housing crisis. I'm hesitant to lend her the money fearing that this could cause problems later on but the same time, I want to help her out.

Have you ever lent money to a loved one, partner or friend ? What were the challenges that happened ? Is it ever a good idea?
I look at this differently from most from ready the responses. It is just money. Friends and family are forever and true friends would not allow money to come between them no matter the amount. I have borrowed from friends in the past and loaned in the past. I have always paid my friends and family back but they have not always paid me back. I never mention it because like i started it is just money.
 
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