ua2pants is offline ua2pants Post #1  October 25,2008, 11:47pm
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My names Josh and I got out of a relationship last Sunday, (Oct. 19th), and I was the one that ended it. I realized on that following day that I made a huge mistake. The whole story is, the friday and saturday prior to the breakup, it seemed like my girlfriend was avoiding me, such as, she wouldnt hold my hand, give me a kiss, or anything of that nature. So I thought she just wasnt in a good mood so I tried to make her happy but nothing I did worked. So on Sunday morning she woke me up around 10:00am and said she wanted to go home early around 12:00pm so she could hang out with her friend Tessa, so I had no problem with that and took her home when she wanted to. (NOTE: I never gave her any restrictions from hanging out with her friends.) Later that day I found out that she was not hanging out with her friend Tessa but her friend Chaz. She knows that I dont like Chaz because he said he was going to try and break me and her up so he could get with her. This situation made me think she was not being faithful to me. So without any question, I ended the relationship. After I had time to cool down, I realized why she had lied to me about it. She was afraid to tell me she was hanging with her friend Chaz because she was afraid that I would get mad at her. I now understand fully for the mistake that I have made and have been trying to get her back in my arms ever since. Does absolutly anybody out there have any advice for me so I can be happy and be with her again. We both still love each other but she said she isnt sure if shes ready to put her heart up to that again. How can I prove to her that I will not make that mistake again? This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me so I am clueless. Please, someone help me!
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #2  October 26,2008, 10:52am

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toss her out and forget about her.


and don't let her come crawling back either
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #3  October 26,2008, 10:52am

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and use paragraphs next time
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #4  October 26,2008, 11:00am
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Let the smoke clear for a while, and then see if you feel the same way about letting her go. Also, without stalking her, see how her friendship with Chaz has changed, if at all. If they also seem to be together all the time, and appearing to look like a couple, chances are the seeds were planted for that when you were dating her. Trust your gut.


As for the breakup itself, you probably should have talked it out with her beforehand, to find out if indeed anything was happening between her and Chaz. But hindsight is 20/20. I'm sure you won't make that mistake with the next woman that comes along.
 
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DennisWisconsin is offline DennisWisconsin Post #5  October 26,2008, 11:03am
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She lied to you. She should be doing the apologizing. Don't act like you're whipped... Don't put yourself there...


And use paragraphs...
 
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rg26 is offline rg26 Post #6  October 26,2008, 11:04am
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Do not try to get back with this girl. She was in the process of dumping you when you ended it. Or at the very least contemplating it.


Girl doesn't want you to touch her its a very bad sign.
 
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yecats is offline yecats Post #7  October 26,2008, 11:10am
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ua2pants, wrote :

My names Josh and I got out of a relationship last Sunday, (Oct. 19th), and I was the one that ended it. I realized on that following day that I made a huge mistake. The whole story is, the friday and saturday prior to the breakup, it seemed like my girlfriend was avoiding me, such as, she wouldnt hold my hand, give me a kiss, or anything of that nature. So I thought she just wasnt in a good mood so I tried to make her happy but nothing I did worked. So on Sunday morning she woke me up around 10:00am and said she wanted to go home early around 12:00pm so she could hang out with her friend Tessa, so I had no problem with that and took her home when she wanted to. (NOTE: I never gave her any restrictions from hanging out with her friends.) Later that day I found out that she was not hanging out with her friend Tessa but her friend Chaz. She knows that I dont like Chaz because he said he was going to try and break me and her up so he could get with her. This situation made me think she was not being faithful to me. So without any question, I ended the relationship. After I had time to cool down, I realized why she had lied to me about it. She was afraid to tell me she was hanging with her friend Chaz because she was afraid that I would get mad at her. I now understand fully for the mistake that I have made and have been trying to get her back in my arms ever since. Does absolutly anybody out there have any advice for me so I can be happy and be with her again. We both still love each other but she said she isnt sure if shes ready to put her heart up to that again. How can I prove to her that I will not make that mistake again? This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me so I am clueless. Please, someone help me!
i have been in the girl's situation, but i think i can shed some light on it for you, Josh.


when i was younger i hung around with a lot of guys that were my friends.


my parents use to say, guys cannot be girls friends. i said bull.


then i got a boyfriend and hung around with my guy friends and my boyfriend got jealous. i told him he could hand around with us. i like being with them.


i am looking back now, because i am in my 40s now, turned out those guys that hung around with me did like me and hope to go out with me.


every last one of them.


i was so totally thinking that they were simply people that liked me and we had a good time.


i lost my boyfriend and moved on even though i was heart broken.


after that, at different times over the years, they asked me out and told me they had been so into me buy didnt know how to say anything, or they didnt want to ruin the friendship.


in the end i dont see any of them now. it feels like a lifetime ago.


i have an adult son now and the best advice i could give him i will share with you.


live, experience, enjoy and when there is pain Know it will get better, it makes great memories and it helps change people to be better people.


what you do with what time throws at you is MORE important than anything else.


if you still love her, that is admirable. you WILL get through this. simply go to her and tell the truth. tell her you are so crazy about her and chaz said he would try to break the two of you up, and you dont want that to come true.


if she forgives, you will end up with her again. if she doesnt, you can then know you tried to do all you could to be with her again.


no matter what happens though, feel your pain and move your self through it. you will heal. it just takes time. dont do anything stupid when you feel your pain, because there is an exit out of the pain.


a light at the end of the tunnel.


talk to her Josh. simply talk. best thing to fix this.


ME - yecats
 
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Immerito is offline Immerito Post #8  October 26,2008, 11:22am
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ua2pants, wrote :

My names Josh and I got out of a relationship last Sunday, (Oct. 19th), and I was the one that ended it. I realized on that following day that I made a huge mistake. The whole story is, the friday and saturday prior to the breakup, it seemed like my girlfriend was avoiding me, such as, she wouldnt hold my hand, give me a kiss, or anything of that nature. So I thought she just wasnt in a good mood so I tried to make her happy but nothing I did worked. So on Sunday morning she woke me up around 10:00am and said she wanted to go home early around 12:00pm so she could hang out with her friend Tessa, so I had no problem with that and took her home when she wanted to. (NOTE: I never gave her any restrictions from hanging out with her friends.) Later that day I found out that she was not hanging out with her friend Tessa but her friend Chaz. She knows that I dont like Chaz because he said he was going to try and break me and her up so he could get with her. This situation made me think she was not being faithful to me. So without any question, I ended the relationship. After I had time to cool down, I realized why she had lied to me about it. She was afraid to tell me she was hanging with her friend Chaz because she was afraid that I would get mad at her. I now understand fully for the mistake that I have made and have been trying to get her back in my arms ever since. Does absolutly anybody out there have any advice for me so I can be happy and be with her again. We both still love each other but she said she isnt sure if shes ready to put her heart up to that again. How can I prove to her that I will not make that mistake again? This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me so I am clueless. Please, someone help me!
Assuming she knows WHY you don't like Chaz (as opposed to "she knows I don't like Chaz"), then I'd say she is either not concerned about his stated desire to break the two of you up, or she intends to date (or has been dating) Chaz.


She chose to see this guy behind your back; her lack of honesty is a red flag. Take time to recover from the breakup, and find someone else.
 
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Songryder is offline Songryder Post #9  October 26,2008, 6:10pm
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ua2pants, wrote :

My names Josh and I got out of a relationship last Sunday, (Oct. 19th), and I was the one that ended it. I realized on that following day that I made a huge mistake. The whole story is, the friday and saturday prior to the breakup, it seemed like my girlfriend was avoiding me, such as, she wouldnt hold my hand, give me a kiss, or anything of that nature. So I thought she just wasnt in a good mood so I tried to make her happy but nothing I did worked. So on Sunday morning she woke me up around 10:00am and said she wanted to go home early around 12:00pm so she could hang out with her friend Tessa, so I had no problem with that and took her home when she wanted to. (NOTE: I never gave her any restrictions from hanging out with her friends.) Later that day I found out that she was not hanging out with her friend Tessa but her friend Chaz. She knows that I dont like Chaz because he said he was going to try and break me and her up so he could get with her. This situation made me think she was not being faithful to me. So without any question, I ended the relationship. After I had time to cool down, I realized why she had lied to me about it. She was afraid to tell me she was hanging with her friend Chaz because she was afraid that I would get mad at her. I now understand fully for the mistake that I have made and have been trying to get her back in my arms ever since. Does absolutly anybody out there have any advice for me so I can be happy and be with her again. We both still love each other but she said she isnt sure if shes ready to put her heart up to that again. How can I prove to her that I will not make that mistake again? This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me so I am clueless. Please, someone help me!
You didn't make a mistake . . . she lied to you. Did she know this sleeze bag said this to you and yet she still went out with him? Yeah, they deserve each other. You're radar was dead on, so don't digress into feeling bad about what you did. You did the right thing and lame excuses on her part aren't going to fix the fact that she lied. She's the one that needs to apologize to you whether you get back together or not and one of the conditions of getting back together is she stop seeing this guy . . . period, but I doubt that will happen, so move on.
 
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