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ManekiNeko ManekiNeko is offline
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MoneyHoney, wrote :

I've been exclusive with a guy for 4+ months. I just had a birthday but did not tell me BF until afterwards because I did not want him to feel OBLIGATED to buy me anything, take me out for an ultra-special dinner, etc. However, he now knows it was my birthday, and he didn't bother to get me a card, flowers, or anything. I feel hurt! I didn't want him to go out of his way on my actual birthday, but I thought he would at least have done something to acknowlege it. Have I set myself up to be disappointed? PS We have spent the last 2 weekends at various festivals, where he could have easily bought something small that had caught my eye.
This guy is an a-hole. Simple as that.


I at least give E-cards to my friends on their birthdays if I can't mail anything to them.
- October 21st, 2008, 08:44 pm
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rg26 rg26 is offline
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MoneyHoney, wrote :

I've been exclusive with a guy for 4+ months. I just had a birthday but did not tell me BF until afterwards because I did not want him to feel OBLIGATED to buy me anything, take me out for an ultra-special dinner, etc. However, he now knows it was my birthday, and he didn't bother to get me a card, flowers, or anything. I feel hurt! I didn't want him to go out of his way on my actual birthday, but I thought he would at least have done something to acknowlege it. Have I set myself up to be disappointed? PS We have spent the last 2 weekends at various festivals, where he could have easily bought something small that had caught my eye.
This is messed up and you're giving women everywhere a bad name. For cryin out loud quit playing games with this man.
- October 21st, 2008, 09:22 pm
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talonfinite talonfinite is offline
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Wow, honestly? You keep your b-day away from him and then after it's over you expect him to reciprocate? If I was him, I'd actually be very wary of you from this point on. To me, you just threw a huge red flag.
- October 21st, 2008, 10:03 pm
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ImmanuelInMyHeart ImmanuelInMyHeart is offline
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Yes. You definitely set yourself up. Men usually take a woman at her word. When she says, "Don't get me anything for my birthday," we usually believe them and act accordingly. Most of us are not good at taking hints unless we learn what she really expects.
- October 21st, 2008, 11:01 pm
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talldrinkowater talldrinkowater is offline
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Yes, you set yourself up to be disappointed.


You played a game....you lost. Guys don't like to play that kind of game...you know, the ones where you change the rules all the time.
- October 21st, 2008, 11:43 pm
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Glider_Pilot Glider_Pilot is offline
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MoneyHoney, wrote :

I've been exclusive with a guy for 4+ months. I just had a birthday but did not tell me BF until afterwards because I did not want him to feel OBLIGATED to buy me anything, take me out for an ultra-special dinner, etc. However, he now knows it was my birthday, and he didn't bother to get me a card, flowers, or anything. I feel hurt! I didn't want him to go out of his way on my actual birthday, but I thought he would at least have done something to acknowlege it. Have I set myself up to be disappointed? PS We have spent the last 2 weekends at various festivals, where he could have easily bought something small that had caught my eye.
So you did everything possible to make sure he paid minimal attention to your birthday, and are now upset that you got exactly what you asked for?


Games-playing is an ugly thing. Don't do it anymore and you're likely to be happier.
- October 21st, 2008, 11:55 pm
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Songryder Songryder is offline
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MoneyHoney, wrote :

I've been exclusive with a guy for 4+ months. I just had a birthday but did not tell me BF until afterwards because I did not want him to feel OBLIGATED to buy me anything, take me out for an ultra-special dinner, etc. However, he now knows it was my birthday, and he didn't bother to get me a card, flowers, or anything. I feel hurt! I didn't want him to go out of his way on my actual birthday, but I thought he would at least have done something to acknowlege it. Have I set myself up to be disappointed? PS We have spent the last 2 weekends at various festivals, where he could have easily bought something small that had caught my eye.
The way you communicated it was very clear . . . you didn't want him to get you anything or make a big fuss, so he didn't . . . on any level. He was doing what you asked. You most likely needed to be more specific. So try not to blame him for it and lesson learned.
- October 22nd, 2008, 12:57 am
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Grrrr also! This is exactly why men think women play games and don't mean what they say. Not all women are like this.You're blaming him for not getting you something when you didn't eventell him it was your birthday.........until it was over......talk about mixed messages.
- October 22nd, 2008, 09:29 am
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Red Sox Girl Red Sox Girl is offline
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Outwith the game playing, I also think you have given him the wrong signal here - you've been together for a few months yet have basically withheld the most personal date in your life from him - your birthday. If a guy did this to me, I would assume he wasn't that interested in me & didn't care that I might have wanted to do something special for his birthday. Be careful what you wish for, & really, quit the game playing. I'm not sure how old you are, but truthfully, games aren't becoming of anybody at any age. Relationships are difficult enough as it is, you should be looking for ways to simplify yours, not make it even tougher.
- October 22nd, 2008, 09:38 am
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Mowsa Mowsa is offline
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GRRR is right!Don't expect him to get you a gift after the fact and then pout about it. The whole point behind not telling someone its your birthday is that you don't want any special attention for it. That's like celebrating New Years Eve in February. Its only one day, and you missed your chance to feel special. That was a stupid game to play - you lose.
- October 22nd, 2008, 09:51 am
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