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ManekiNeko ManekiNeko is offline
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jaysleepy wrote :


On a different note, whats up with that one dude's unncessary description of his ex gf?


What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? I love that line, and ask it when people ask questions that have the answer right smack dab in front of them.



So you don't stay up nights, I'll tell you exactly why I had the description up there. Someone could be the most physically attractive, sweet, caring, sensitive, and wonderful person in the world but if they criticize anything and everything you do, it's going to get under your skin.
- October 16th, 2008, 07:34 pm
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EMTZ EMTZ is offline
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If I were you, I'd dump him and would probably say, "I'm so sorry, darling, I kinda like you but you are just not good looking or successful enough for me. I tried to overlook your physical weaknesses, but unfortunately you're not smart or interesting either. And just a suggestion that may help you in your future relationships: learn how to perform in bed, OK? I can ask my baby brother to teach you if you want."
- October 16th, 2008, 07:50 pm
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NextChapter NextChapter is offline
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What we do in the name of love...bottom line is if it makes you feel bad, it ain't good. Life is way too short to suffer needlesly. Be prepared for the "you can't take a joke" response when you tell him why you are leaving, and yes, you will be tempted to believe it, but don't. It is indeed a tactic to get control over your mind and spirit so the real abuse can begin. Please leave. It will be hard, but it will be much harder if you stay. I know.
- October 16th, 2008, 08:59 pm
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japaneseblueeyes japaneseblueeyes is offline
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EMTZ wrote :

If I were you, I'd dump him and would probably say, "I'm so sorry, darling, I kinda like you but you are just not good looking or successful enough for me. I tried to overlook your physical weaknesses, but unfortunately you're not smart or interesting either. And just a suggestion that may help you in your future relationships: learn how to perform in bed, OK? I can ask my baby brother to teach you if you want."
I think the OP should just cut and paste this into an e-mail then cut all further communication. He will get the hint.
- October 16th, 2008, 09:37 pm
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I'd sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel...put all the proverbial cards on the table. If he's truly controlling, he'll more likely try and dominate the conversation than speak his heart. If he does that, tell him you need to be as honest as you can since you don't want to be in a onesided relationship (his side)rather you want your needs met also.If he continues to try and control the conversation without meeting you halfway with his needs, you have your answer...he's a control freak. In which, get up, say have a nice life and walk out the door. You can't change him, don't try...you'll only waste your time.
- October 16th, 2008, 10:08 pm
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littlepixie1978, wrote :


I have been dating someone for about 4 months now. Things are going great, I think we like each other a great deal, we have a number of common interests.


The only problem is he is constantly criticising me - about pretty much everything. He doesn't like where I live, he doesn't like how I cook, he is a lot more athletic and stronger then I am, so whenever we are going for excercise of any sort, I am always too slow for him, I am too lazy, I should constantly improve according to him.


I am pretty happy with my life, mind you, and I like myself the way I am. At some point of time I thought that its all joking behavior, and it didnt' upset me too much. However, recently its becomeing slightly out of hand, I think. He is telling me that I am way out of shape and need to get back in shape, and telling me that I got extra weight. Under no circumstances can I be considered overweight or out of shape - but yes, I am no physical match to him.


I don't know what to do. At this point of time I am torn between trying to talk to him and explain why I am unhappy with this behavior, or just dumping him on the spot. Which would be a shame - I really like him, we have a lot in common, we trully enjoy each other's company; but at the same time - if he can't accept me the way I am right now, if he wants an improved model - what is it giong to be like when say I am pregnant? or right after I have a baby?


Help, anyone?


I would ask that you do something for yourself. Get your closest friend, someone who will give you an open and honest opinion, and let them read your statement here and give you their opinion. I see quite a few places in here where you contradict yourself not even realizing it. To me that means that he has already started damaging you. He has you thinking that "things are going great" and "we like each other a great deal" but on the other hand your common sense is saying "he is constantly critizing me" and you are recognizing this as a problem..... which it is!!! A very big problem.


I really respect that you want to try to talk to him about this but I think he may start trying to convince you that it is all in your head. Next he will be telling you that you are crazy. How many women have actually heard that one before??? Scary to think about. He will convince you that you NEED to listen to him because that other voice in your head (common sense yelling at you) means you are crazy and only he can take care of you.... nobody else would want you like this...your friends don't care about you the way he does so dont listen to them... you should be more appreciative of what he put up with because he loves you... etc, etc, etc. He will destroy you before you even realize it.... he has already started.


Again, go ask a close friend to read this and give you their opinion. Please listen to it. Do it for yourself, do it for your sanity. Just be glad that you caught it in 4 months and not 4 years.
- October 16th, 2008, 11:24 pm
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