Would you consider this verbal abuse or just plain truth?


Reply
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
marlieP is offline marlieP Post #81  January 31,2009, 1:15pm
marlieP's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

MA

Posts: 61

See profile

sarcasticpsycho, wrote :

What if you just moved in with your boyfriend after a year of dating and one night you were too tired to have sex (great sex life every night) and he got mad, jumped up and started to put his pants on and yelled "well if you arnt going to give me any I have 2 on speed dial a lot better than you ever thought about being". The next day afteryou manage to removeyour heart fromyour stomach he proceeds to tellyou that he was sorry and that hesaid it out of anger. Would that be considered verbal abuse or just plain truth? Could you ever trust that person to be faithful to you?
since when is "just anger" ok anyway. Do we always say the meanest things we can think of when we are mad or do normal adults hold back?


he's crazy and it will get worse. leave now before he starts hitting you.
 
  Reply With Quote
MissAnnG is offline MissAnnG Post #82  January 31,2009, 2:43pm
MissAnnG's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jun 2008

Ontario

Posts: 14

See profile

sarcasticpsycho, wrote :

What if you just moved in with your boyfriend after a year of dating and one night you were too tired to have sex (great sex life every night) and he got mad, jumped up and started to put his pants on and yelled "well if you arnt going to give me any I have 2 on speed dial a lot better than you ever thought about being". The next day afteryou manage to removeyour heart fromyour stomach he proceeds to tellyou that he was sorry and that hesaid it out of anger. Would that be considered verbal abuse or just plain truth? Could you ever trust that person to be faithful to you?
I would say that the person is all about His own needs and self centered.


Words can be more abusive than physical.


A person will forget physical pain that has come and gone, but when someone who is suppose to love & care for you Says hurtful malicious words towards you, that is Always in the back of your mind.


Red flag sorry to say. You deserve better.
 
  Reply With Quote
nancymargrit is offline nancymargrit Post #83  January 31,2009, 3:00pm

getting the garden ready

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,419

See profile

sarcasticpsycho, wrote :

What if you just moved in with your boyfriend after a year of dating and one night you were too tired to have sex (great sex life every night) and he got mad, jumped up and started to put his pants on and yelled "well if you arnt going to give me any I have 2 on speed dial a lot better than you ever thought about being". The next day afteryou manage to removeyour heart fromyour stomach he proceeds to tellyou that he was sorry and that hesaid it out of anger. Would that be considered verbal abuse or just plain truth? Could you ever trust that person to be faithful to you?
I haven't read the other six pages of this thread yet, but this is not just "the plain truth". There's something else going on here.


I'm off to read the other six pages to see what else I can learn.
 
  Reply With Quote
nancymargrit is offline nancymargrit Post #84  January 31,2009, 3:02pm

getting the garden ready

Veteran

Joined: Jul 2008

Posts: 1,419

See profile

MissAnnG,463537 wrote :

sarcasticpsycho, wrote :


What if you just moved in with your boyfriend after a year of dating and one night you were too tired to have sex (great sex life every night) and he got mad, jumped up and started to put his pants on and yelled "well if you arnt going to give me any I have 2 on speed dial a lot better than you ever thought about being". The next day afteryou manage to removeyour heart fromyour stomach he proceeds to tellyou that he was sorry and that hesaid it out of anger. Would that be considered verbal abuse or just plain truth? Could you ever trust that person to be faithful to you?


I would say that the person is all about His own needs and self centered.


Words can be more abusive than physical.


A person will forget physical pain that has come and gone, but when someone who is suppose to love & care for you Says hurtful malicious words towards you, that is Always in the back of your mind.


Red flag sorry to say. You deserve better.

Agreed - with both comments.
 
  Reply With Quote
c_hristy is offline c_hristy Post #85  January 31,2009, 3:11pm
c_hristy's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

- videos and pictures below-

Posts: 178

See profile



Verbal abuse.


And no, I would not trust him.
 
  Reply With Quote
DearSomeone is offline DearSomeone Post #86  February 1,2009, 7:53am
DearSomeone's Avatar

is blessed!

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 102

See profile



If is was just a month maybe it would be more forgivable, but a yeat?! that's questionable...I belive It's actaully both, he is idefinetly verbal ly abusive and to add insult to injury out of anger he told the truth....so there is a number 2! AHA!!!!
 
  Reply With Quote
cath817 is offline cath817 Post #87  February 1,2009, 8:15am
cath817's Avatar

is watching paint dry.

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2008

VA

Posts: 321

See profile



My ex used to say some very hurtful things whenever he got angry with me. He never apologized, just excused himself by saying, "well, I got mad." It got to the point that I would try to do everything just the way he wanted so he didn't say these things. As time went on, it took less and less to make him angry. When Ilook back, I now believe he would "get angry" so he could blame me for some of his actions (such as visiting hooker bars overseas with his single friends.)


When I'd finally had enough and stopped cringing, I asked how he'd feel if I said and done similar things to him. His comment: "That wouldn't be right!"


Ifyour boyfriend'sangry behavior is allowed to continue, I feel it will keep getting worse.
 
  Reply With Quote
sillymama is offline sillymama Post #88  February 1,2009, 9:16am
sillymama's Avatar

IS Wishing ManeiNeko AND DLion Love and Success!!!!!!

Enthusiast

Joined: Dec 2008

Rocklin, CA (sacramento area)

Posts: 504

See profile



His anger was grossly innapropriate!!!!!! And will not change later on. I for one would RUN for the hills, that being said;


Bare with me for a min.......While I don't think you should ever refuse your partner, your partner should KNOW you well enough and know when it is innapropriate to ask (someone is clearly exsausted, sick, just had surgury etc). I know I am probably going to get jumped all over for saying you should never refuse your partner, please listen to my reasoning before the harsh judgments pop put of everyones mouth;


The one thing in a relationship you should be able to trust is that they will NOT REJECT you. Come on that is what dating is for. We see it everyday on these board, the hurt, frustration and anger over being rejected by people. The person who SHOULD love you most is now telling you, your need to bond with me tonight just doesn't work for me and is not a top priority. There has never been a time that I was so tired that EVENTUALLY I did no enjoy it. You have the right to explain to your partner "you may need to do a little somthing extra BECAUSE I'm so tired to get me in the mood" but I think flat out rejection of your partner (AND ONLY YOUR PARTNER) is wrong.


For those who may not see this as rejection I want you to imagine you spent a great deal of time preparing a nice meal (or a sandwich) have the candles lit romantic music playing in the background your honey comes home from work, you answer the door in the buff (if a woman insert nice pair of heels here, men some massage oil) and your partner sits down and starts reading the paper and says not tonight dear, I have a headache and proceeds to eat this fine meal in front of the tv.


Obviously that is not the case here (or maybe it is we don't know)


But rejection hurts especially when it is someone who loves you or should love you.


Now having said ALL that, I would leave his angry little tooshy without a second thought? Are you planning on having kids? Do you have kids? What happens the first time that child dissapoints this man.....Your story sounds a lot like.....I wish you had never been born.


I remember my daughter when she was 4 telling me that she wishes her dad would just spank her because words hurt more than hands because it doesn't go away sometimes. Just food for thought.
 
  Reply With Quote
EMTZ is offline EMTZ Post #89  February 1,2009, 9:31am
EMTZ's Avatar

has quickly adapted back to her lazy lifestyle

Virtuoso

Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 2,553

See profile



That means he needs to grow up. Unless you are a ped0phile, dump him.
 
  Reply With Quote
itsbits is offline itsbits Post #90  February 1,2009, 5:57pm
itsbits's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Jan 2009

Midwest

Posts: 209

See profile



Well, this is just abuse. Somewhat manipulative right? I mean, you'll really think twice before voiceing your opinion about sex again right? I know, that when in a relationship, all you have to do is say "in the morning honey, been a long day, I'll get you in the morning" and my guy will alwaysbe like "OK baby". There have been times when I've been in the mood and my partner will "later baby, too tired right now". It's not rejection, just not this moment. I've never blown up at them and they've never blown up at me.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« Engaged, but really confused | Relationships | Predicting a relationship's success »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Absolutely not. I have no idea why allowing gays to marry would affect anyone's lives, unless they're sexually insecure about themselves.” –  sun73

Join the “Did our President give up the election for a single issue?” discussion

“I learned that the woman's communication style has to fit mine or else it won't work.” –  sun73

Join the “Why do 40 yr olds still play games?” discussion

“Here's where to email if you think a match might be a fraud: matchconcerns@eharmony.com . Tell them the match's name and location so they can find them. If what's making you suspicious is an email ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Match from another country...is he a "fraud"?” discussion

“I know you clarified you just want a general opinion on when people bring this subject up, but I'm going to give you both that and also what I believe you should do. The general idea most of the ... ” –  Herkemer

Join the “When is it time to discuss your position on having kids?” discussion

“And that's a very valid point. I get the feeling that eHarmony is keeping their price high to show they they are not cheap and therefore, their members are serious.It seems to me that combining the ... ” –  MicMan

Join the “Free Communication Weekend” discussion

“How long have you all been on EH? Thanks for the advice. I signed on in late April 2012 but have been on other dating sites in the past.” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “New Here” discussion

“The only one that bothers me is the "they weren't his kids so meh ..." But there could be a whole world of story behind that. Like "she dumped me and it was painful and I hated losing the kids in ... ” –  Simplicity-2012

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 11:08am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0