Would you consider this verbal abuse or just plain truth?


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peg099 is offline peg099 Post #51  October 17,2008, 5:12pm
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RRoland,297829 wrote :

Why do I have to give up on women if I don't want a relationship? There are plenty of women who don't want relationships either.
Yeah, apparently they just want kids to mother.
 
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RRoland is offline RRoland Post #52  October 17,2008, 5:21pm
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peg099,297852 wrote :

RRoland,297829 wrote :


Why do I have to give up on women if I don't want a relationship? There are plenty of women who don't want relationships either.


Yeah, apparently they just want kids to mother.
Those are the women who are relationship-minded.
 
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ImmanuelInMyHeart is offline ImmanuelInMyHeart Post #53  October 17,2008, 5:24pm
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That was DEFINITELY verbal abuse whether it was true or not. It was intended to manipulate you so he could satisfy his sexual urge - plain and simple.
 
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Jato87 is offline Jato87 Post #54  October 17,2008, 6:02pm
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talonfinite,296651 wrote :

It's not verbal abuse or plain truth rather it's plain immaturity and childishness; since I don't get my way, I'll throw a tantrum. BUT there are always three sides to a story, your's, his and the truth. Maybe it's come to that time when you both need to sit down, be brave and redefine your relationship so as it can move forward. If you both brush this under the rug without being truthful, it'll be the beginning of the end.
I agree that there's likely a third side to this that needs to be considered, and we've heard only ONE side. His reactionwas not appropriate, but are we to assume that SHE never has or NEVER WILL say something similar, out offrustration and angerwhen SHE is suddenly very emotionally disappointed???


This kind of thing happensin EVERYmarriage or LTR, and the two parties had better understand that andbe prepared to deal with it!!!! This is notan aberration or an unusual incident, particularly with regard to sex, but a couple suddenly being confronted with the realities ofliving with another person!It will come up again and again!!! Those who do not recognizeit as merely a normal conflict within marriage will reap the heartbreak of thinking that they were going to live "happily ever after."
 
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JAZZYJO is offline JAZZYJO Post #55  October 17,2008, 8:51pm

hey mister- throw me something!

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If I read the post right she gives him lots of sex lots of time. So one night she tells him no and he throws a fit and said he is calling other women, i would have told him it's properly a good idea to go ahead and set them up for tomm. and the next day, and the next day too, way to go Romeo== you dont need to call women cuz you just screwed yourself!
 
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talonfinite is offline talonfinite Post #56  October 18,2008, 6:47am
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RRoland,297831 wrote :

talonfinite,297078 wrote :


RRoland,296655 wrote :


talonfinite,296651 wrote :


It's not verbal abuse or plain truth rather it's plain immaturity and childishness; since I don't get my way, I'll throw a tantrum. BUT there are always three sides to a story, your's, his and the truth. Maybe it's come to that time when you both need to sit down, be brave and redefine your relationship so as it can move forward. If you both brush this under the rug without being truthful, it'll be the beginning of the end.


I agree that it is immature and childish. But women like to mother, no?


You took that comment as quid pro quo? It's not meant for a comparison, it's only stating an obvious reaction...based on one side of the story. What does the need for some women to mother men have to do with it?


Since women like to mother, shouldn't they be happy when they get a immature, childish partner?


No one has ever accused me of being immature or childish, yet many have accused me of rejecting loving care.Well, if you like to mother, you will get a child. Deal with it.
Sorry, I just don't see it the way you do. I don't think giving a response as you stated really accomplishes anything accept driving a bigger wedge inbetween and setting the realtionship up to work under only those roles when it comes to satisfying each other's needs and desires...the motherly attitude and the childish reaction.
 
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talonfinite is offline talonfinite Post #57  October 18,2008, 6:51am
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JAZZYJO,298223 wrote :

If I read the post right she gives him lots of sex lots of time. So one night she tells him no and he throws a fit and said he is calling other women, i would have told him it's properly a good idea to go ahead and set them up for tomm. and the next day, and the next day too, way to go Romeo== you dont need to call women cuz you just screwed yourself!
What you stated she said is true but if you look at it objectively, everyone is the hero or in the right from their perspective. It's possible she was withholding or not satisfying something else he needed and instead of standing jup for himself then, he chose to fire back at this expected, repeatitious time; transference...happens all the time to people who don't assert themselves in a healthy manner.
 
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talonfinite is offline talonfinite Post #58  October 18,2008, 6:53am
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Jato87,297963 wrote :

talonfinite,296651 wrote :


It's not verbal abuse or plain truth rather it's plain immaturity and childishness; since I don't get my way, I'll throw a tantrum. BUT there are always three sides to a story, your's, his and the truth. Maybe it's come to that time when you both need to sit down, be brave and redefine your relationship so as it can move forward. If you both brush this under the rug without being truthful, it'll be the beginning of the end.


I agree that there's likely a third side to this that needs to be considered, and we've heard only ONE side. His reactionwas not appropriate, but are we to assume that SHE never has or NEVER WILL say something similar, out offrustration and angerwhen SHE is suddenly very emotionally disappointed???


This kind of thing happensin EVERYmarriage or LTR, and the two parties had better understand that andbe prepared to deal with it!!!! This is notan aberration or an unusual incident, particularly with regard to sex, but a couple suddenly being confronted with the realities ofliving with another person!It will come up again and again!!! Those who do not recognizeit as merely a normal conflict within marriage will reap the heartbreak of thinking that they were going to live "happily ever after."
Couldn't have said it better, very well put. +10
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #59  October 18,2008, 6:55am
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dimension,295158 wrote :




oh com'n posters, one frustrated outburst and it's off to couple counselling?? I have to agree with RR on this one, SP and her partner were enjoying a great routine sex life, it suddenly stopped, the guy got frustrated and yelled.




There's a big difference between frustrated and hateful. It's all about the intent of the message. Everyone gets frustrated occasionally. His INTENT was to hurt her and cause her emotional distress. That's not ever acceptable in a relationship.
 
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cp30 is offline cp30 Post #60  October 18,2008, 7:05am

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talonfinite,298595 wrote :

RRoland,297831 wrote :





No one has ever accused me of being immature or childish
oh, I have.
 
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