She's breaking up with me because I am a virgin :-(

I would break up with a 30 year old if I came to know that she is a virgin. Sorry, but I want a good sex life and someone without experience need not apply. It's not like I am dating 16 year olds. At 30 one should have slept with many of the opposite gender.

I am not into running a school for perverts.

............ isn't this what sex is all about? Isn't it about two people playing together in the same room? Why would you want to do it on your own?


If you want to practice your instrument on your own, there are things such as solo performances at concert halls - hardly the same as intimacy between two people in the bedroom.

HurrMark, I wish you well in your dating endeavors and I'm glad to hear that you are going to keep trying.


It seems to me in your post here that now that things didn't work out with this woman, you are lookiing for ways to devalue her. i.e. "you weren't sold on her until a few days ago", the fact that she broke up with you because you told her you were a virgin makes her out to be a bad person".


It could just be none of those things. Just as you prefer to remain inexperienced and unwilling to acquire the knowledge of what it takes to please a woman in bed, perhaps this woman prefers not to be with a guy who chooses to be that way. That's her right and she doesn't have to be a negative person because of that. Maybe she wants her experience in physical intimacy to be enjoyable and feels that a guy who does not know anything about that won't be enjoyable for her. For a woman it can be a painful and unpleasant ordeal if a guy doesn't know what he is doing.


You said that this exact same thing happened to you last year in your first relationship. The woman broke up with you because of your inexperience. You seem to be choosing women who want a man with experience. Some women, even those who are inexperienced themselves would want a partner they can be assured will please them $exually and initiate them into a physical intimacy with knowledge, care and love. I would imagine no woman would want a man who knows absolutely nothing about $ex because that can possibly make it painful, embarrasing and unenjoyable. (Not always but sometimes it can). I'm sure you would want your first time to be something that you will remember with intimacy and enjoyment as well as love and I would think you'd want your partner to experience this as well.


There is nothing enjoyable about being with someone intimately and they don't know what they are doing. Personally I get turned off if a guy can't kiss correctly even after I show them, and they still kiss like they're trolling for tonsils or trying to drown me in saliva, I'm not interested. This tells me that the guy will be a selfish lover and unwilling to take my feelings and body into consideration.


You wear your virgin mantle proudly but so far you don't seem to be getting much joy out of it. It's ok to be a virgin, but you don't have to remain in the dark in acquiring the knowlege of how to make love to a woman. There are far too many instructional books, manuals and videos for you not to at least know basic technique.


If I met a guy and he said he was a virgin, I'd be fine with that. If I met a guy who didn't know how to please me $exually and that includes not even knowing how to kiss and refusiing to learn better techniques that's a complete turnoff. Nor am I interested in schooling a guy in that way from scratch, he's got to at least have some basic knowlege. I would derrive no $exual pleasure from that experience. Some women would, I wouldn't. It's not so much your being a virgin that is the issue as everyone starts off that way, it's the fact that you seem unwilling to gain the knowlege about $exual techniques.


You don't have to give up your virginity to learn the techniques. Learning the techniques will probably give you more confidence. You also don't have to announce it like a placard. Just meet the woman and hopefully the relationship will progress to the point where you're both ready to share each other in that regard. Then when you meet that woman and you know what you are doing, you will please her so well and make your first time experience as well as her "first time" being with you so enjoyable that after, when you tell her you were a virgin, she will be pleasantly surprised. She'll probably think, "Darn, if he's that good and it's only his first time, things will only get better in that area. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]

I had a bad feeling this was going to happen, but it happened. She is breaking up with me. The reason? I am a 30 year old virgin who is unfamiliar with what to do with a woman in bed. This is killing me to no end...not just the breakup but the fact that if this is how women are, I might as well never even try again. It's heartbreaking to so many degrees, and shows that I will never have luck with relationships ever. I curse my Asperger's Syndrome and everything about it. ;-(

Last count is 122 pages in "Porn Really Necessary for a Man?" under the catagory DATING.

Well, after all, it is only one step from the jungle to the zoo....





(obscure '70s song reference here )