Alice172 is offline Alice172 Post #81  January 1,2009, 6:23pm
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You should break up because you want to break up. For the love of God, you dont OWE anybody to stay together. This is different if you're married but while dating, its probation: you can let go of anyone for any reason or no reason. Thats what dating is FOR, experimenting with what you like and dont like. keep what you like, dump what you dont. I really dont like these articles telling me what I should and should not like. The only reason to be in a relationship is if you like the other person, you enjoy most things about them, and you get along well. If this is not true, why settle? Lots of fish in the sea. personally I would prefer to be alone and peaceful rather than "trying" to make it work with somebody who annoys the daylights out of me. Lets not forget the point of this relationship thing.. you're not supposed to force yourself to love. You love or you dont.
 
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leroyB123 is offline leroyB123 Post #82  January 6,2009, 11:13am
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This was obviously written by someone who didn't want their partner to break up with them. And all of these "reasons" were probably excuses brought up by the dumper to the dumpee to make them feel better or to justify having not other reason than just being done with the relationship. In the end, it doesn't matter if the reason is petty or not, or if there are outside reasoning. If someone wants to make a big deal of small things or make excuses to no longer be in a realtionship then guess what....it is probably a bad relationship. Or maybe it just isn't right for that one person! Very few relationships end with both sides agreeing that it should end....that is life people! Move on and find someone else!
 
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dianesheart is offline dianesheart Post #83  February 7,2009, 3:50pm
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I love this article. It says so much. Sometimes we as humans expect too much from our partner that we walk away from him or her at the first sign of trouble or differences. It is so sad when a person can not compromise for the sake of love. I tend to look at the overall good in a person rather than dwell on his faults.No one is perfect, and down the road, if a person seems perfect now, doesn't mean he or she will be perfect later. The same goes with imperfection. What is imperfect now, may not be imperfect down the road.
 
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Uncle Apple is offline Uncle Apple Post #84  February 7,2009, 9:00pm
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You shouldn't break up unless (not abruptly anyway) with out honest reasons. If you're not dating the wrong person, the person isphyscially abusive or something worse, there's no reason to end it
 
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Greater is offline Greater Post #85  March 20,2009, 9:52pm
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I love reading your articles...they are so usefule and relative to everyday life. A couple of your article related to my life's experience. I hope you don't mind that I am sharing and venting my recent experience where I almost left this wonderful world because a very unfair treatment.


I have been in a 10 year relationship - a very wonderful loving relationship until my partner told me on the telephone things are not working. During our 10 years relationship, almost everyday, we will be calling each other several times a day and say "i love you" or checking at each other; and would seeeach other....share our sincere and wonderful love to each other. We love both our families and friends and everyone and everything we gained during these years. There was no specific reason why I got the breakup call, no significant nor specific reason. I have called and called and seeked for an explanation, but all I received was silence, no response. This is worst thing that ever happened to my life and I MAKE it sure the last and will NEVER allow this happen to me again. After the "dumping day" during those days, weeks, and months, there was not a day that I shed tears, lots of sleepless nights, was very angry, mad, confused, lonely and sick. I was not sure whether I was going to die at any day....I could not function properly. All of me, my system, mentally and physically went dead. Until today, I have not gotten any reason why I became a dumpee. I do not understand....we had so much love for each other, so much wonderful and solid relationship and just one day...I got the pink slip. Until now, I can not understand why this happened....but I am still hoping and wishing that God will give us another chance to check things out and giving us the opportunity toevaluate ourselves and check where and what went wrong; orperhaps this isa trial how strong we can take this. My prayers are the only things I cling on these days.....I have gone to having such great appetite to eat nothing, I have gone from a happy person to melancholy....I have gone from positive thinker to negative....all of me went sour....that I am believing life, my life, or I have been given an unfair life with no apparent reason...I did nothing wrong...and I do not deserved to be dumped in this way. I am coming to say thatthe dumper is a total jerk and will be a jerk lifetime..... a total looser, will never find happiness in lifeand is being flushed with the rest of the SH#@*&T in the toilet, that's where the dumper belongs--not to be rescued not even the rooter-rooter will be able to help.


Considering both parties are professional, decent and loving people....this relationship do not deserved to be ended this way. I have tried to secure for explanation for gazillion times, but no response, no decent explanation...just a major total f#%*&ng jerk.


Thank you for allowing write the above comments.
 
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Sweetpea2580 is offline Sweetpea2580 Post #86  March 27,2009, 6:22pm

Ok Ok Ok I will try ;)

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WellI am sorry for your breakup. Coming from a dumper(me). I recently dumped my fiance when I realized that there was no communication between us. He would expect me to listen when he needed to talk or when we were arguing, but when it was my turn to talk he didnt listen, and made me feel as though my opinions didnt matter. It hurt but I felt like as time went on he would change. He didnt. He became worse. He no longer even pretended to try and resolve things when we were angry with each other, he became verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive( to my dog), when I tried to get him to reason and communicate. It was hard for me to communicate as well( as it was my first real relationship)but I tried. When I broke up with him he was very angry and of course blamed me for everything that happened. I believed him, I felt bad about myself. I thought that I was abad person. Then I realized no it was not me it was him. He needed to reevaluate himself. I had did the right thing.
 
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kjacks12 is offline kjacks12 Post #87  March 29,2009, 5:01pm
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argytunes,264326 wrote :

If your partner is making you more miserable when she (or he) is in your presence...and you've tried to figure out why...this might be a good reason for a break up? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-undecided.gif[/img]


Just be sure to ask yourself if you can really go it alone?


argytunes
I agree with that. I have been asked this question and I responded by telling the young lady that if she has more peace when the partner is not there, then when he is, then she should ask herself if she can live without peace. When loving someone else is hurting the person, then the person needs to love themselves enough to get out of the bad relationship.
 
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kjacks12 is offline kjacks12 Post #88  March 29,2009, 6:41pm
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OnceHappy,271078 wrote :


This is a great article given my predicament. I'm currently undergoing a separation with my husband of barely 10 months. The article states exactly all the reasons that he is using tobreak up our marriage. And no, a possible divorce is not due to us not knowing each other. We've known each other since 1994. I sent this article to him, in the hopesthat he'll take the blindfold off before it's too late.


We got into a terrible argument, and that was the last time I saw him. He's refused talking to me about anything, and has completely shut me out of his life. It's pretty much been his way or no way.


Ibelieve that I'm more tolerable, just like the article says that we should be.It's never an easy path when you are involved with someone romantically, but you endure the relationship because you truly love the person. My "other half" has this fairy-tale illusion that relationships are perfect, and couples never argue?


I hope things work out for your marriage, but if he doesn't change his mind; you change yours. What I mean is don't be "OnceHappy", but BeHappy! Whatever happens in your relationship, as long as you have done all you could do...go on with your life. Your life is not ending. There is no period, here. You are still here. This is just a pause, in your life. If this does not work, there is more to life. Again, I hope things work out for ya!
 
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federig1 is offline federig1 Post #89  April 19,2009, 5:33pm
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I was not ready for marriage after being togther on and off for 5 years. My girlfriend ended everyhting four months ago,


Gary
 
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mskam is offline mskam Post #90  July 18,2009, 8:39pm
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My ex and I pretty much broke up over this. I wonder if he even realized it. I doubt he ever even gave it the consideration it needed, bc he was so sure that he didn't do anything to get us in that situation. Shrug.
 
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