Good luck, it sounds like you have deep heartfelt feelings for the "ex". Speaking of ex's,a comedian (whose name I forgot) summed it up best... "getting back with an ex is like sour milk, you take it out of the fridge, take a wiff, see that it's spoiled, shrug and put it backhoping thatit may be better tomorrow". That's not verbatim, but you get the jist of it. Usually a person is an ex for a reason.

1st, Sarah your 'Clint Eastwood' photo....my gosh, ya just want to hug that cute little thing!


2nd, I agree..and I also have posted several comments on other issues, as one caught my eye which rattled my cage a little, as his response was about the "view your matches for free", and said that it was SPAM! Well...the one huge problem with the viewing of matches is totally promoted and advertised by EH, and was insulted by the fact that "we" who cannot respond and unaware so, that "he" was irritated by receiving such matches, and as many are viewing EH for such "matches", but also may see the "advice" posts...seems to cut us down immediately and not even knowing us, but considered SPAM. A situation created by EH!


In any event, it does get back to articles posted by EH. Read the advertisement at the beginning of this article "8 Bad Reasons To Break Up"!EH goes to all the trouble/time to interview authors and/or specialists dealing with relationships. Do you think they look into the advice topics they send out and evaluate and/or READ what we are saying! The word "lame" comes up quite often, which on some that's an understatement. However, comments/personal advice on certain aspects of the "# of Reasons..", "the Do's and Don'ts","the How To or What to Ask...", now do they actually get those questions from specialists and/or authors?


Once again, I believe since EH sends the advicetopics out someone should be monitoring them, which I had e-mailed EH my concern/comments regarding some of this "lame" topics and common sense answers and the issue consistently being addressed about "viewing your matches for free". And as I know very well myself, and they have "their" specialists as it relates to the Internet, yes they should identify to"paying members" of matchesthat are sent on the "view your matches for free". AND, if someare interesting enough and the member still wants to contact that person, should they become a member that the "paying member" be alerted to the fact that they could answer their question now. MORE SO, EH should advise the person acting on the advertisement of viewing matches for free that they WILLNOT be able to respond to questions that may be sent. In my experience, as I actually am NOT a member YET, I'd get the responses back of "did not show photo", "did not answer my question", common sense here.... EH is advertising howthey can "find the love of their life", all the smiles, couples holding hands, etc., then to get a response mentioned before as ifwe "by choice" are ignoring a matches question. Then IF we sign up and those specific members see are match "again"... they may remember and toss it out because of whatever reason they gave to close the initial "match". Not only could it be possible that person just closed a good match, EH quite possibly is loosing membership due to "forced" issues of sales tactics. So...maybe we are not ready to sign up yet, maybetiming financially is not right at that moment, and sure, EH is advertising and just sending loads of matches out, and some that are so way out of the whole scenario, just to "make that sale". EH is advertising to assist people in relationships, getting people back out dating again, etc., in my opinion...my reason I have not signed up yet. I'm not sure if it works any better than going through Yahoo Personals or similar and they are free.


Well, yes, I did get away from the original subject....sorry! But I agree with Sarah relating to EH and guess that's why I extended my comments. The response to the original article...the last question....excellent topic for discussion! I'm from MN and the Twin Cities TV news Channel 4 WCCO each night has a topic and it's called "Good Question"! Now there's an idea for EH to look into, have members and non-members send their question to them, well maybe they do/have and are just ignoring them, but then post that as an article. So far if the topics are generated by those they say they've interviewed as that of an author of a particular book or "notable" professional individual....bottom line EH topics, well a high percentage of them are "lame". And they are NOT listening (or reading). Or, perhaps the tactic thee is...this is what it does generate...and we fall into the "game" as we do respond. Probably giving EH advice for free!


OK so enough, although I have more to say about the whole thing, but I'm sure others will be responding in a similar manner and will more than likely touch on the topics/response I have not. So....Good Answer....Good Question!

Thank you for the well wishes, indidentlover. The comedian quote is funny and probably rings true for the most part.


I've actually never gone back to an ex (or wanted to for that matter) until now... not that I've had toomany ex's mind you. I'ma long term kinda gal. But, people grow and learn and change, so never say never.I woulduse the word"mature" here,but sinceI've turned 30, I am opposed to anything that makes me sound old!!!haha


Thanks again! Hope all is well in your world!

luv2dance123, thank you so muchfor the well wishes. (wow, everyone is so nice on here!) and thank you for taking time torespond...good food for thought!my expectation to spend more time with the "ex" was probably not completely unreasonable. time together and communication is also something I need in a relationship. but, in the end when things were beginning to sour, we took extremely opposite approaches to dealing with the problem, me wanting to discuss it everytime it came up (a mistake), which caused him to want to avoid the issue as much as possible (also a mistake).


for now, weseem to begravitating towards each other again.. takingsmaller steps but making a great deal of progress. we havesome common interest but some that are also separate. i think that is probably healthy. we both run, so have been running together lately (we never did this before) and enjoy amusement parks/coasters so we are both taking next Friday off to go to Busch Gardens together. of course, we have our separate things as well.. i love to dance (much like you) and he is not a dancer nor does he have any interest in it whatsoever, but i am okay with that now. so he may not want to go to my competitions or to the club occassionally, but that's what friends are for. so, it would be like pulling teeth to get him to go to a rom-com (heaven forbid haha) but be both enjoy comedies and i can tolerate zombie movies.in the end, apparentlyneither of us were willing to compromise, were stubborn, hurt and angry. now that time has passed and the heart has forgotten these things, it feels like when we first started dating... only with a bit more wisdom now.since i was the one that broke things off, iwas prepared togive a lot of patience, which is not fun, but has definately paid off.


i wish you luck finding someone youin which you have a goodamount of common interests so thatyouare able spendtogether easily. 15 hours may sound like a lot, but really when you thinkg about it, it's reasonable.Most people give 40-60 hours a weekto an employer... and while having a career and eaning a living is necessary for survival,I think 2 hours a day is very do-able if having a relationship is important to you. No one wants to feel like it is work though, so you are right, common interests help a lot! again, good luck!

Dan, your opinion is certainly "unexpected" coming from a guy. I would say in most cases this is exactly how women feel in a relationship that just is going anywhere. I had been in such a relationship where"intimacy" was his ONLY motivation. Although it meant something at one time, when I needed help around my house....his comment was "well I'd do more, I'd pay all your bills, IF I could sleep with you" (I had "moved" him into the guest room when he came for a weekend, he was usually on the road working for a month, stay at my house on weekends, but he'd do his thing..photographer, and he was good, people would stop over to get prints of the events the prior evening, although he would have to have a few beers and "smoke", not cigarettes, in order to talk to people...the reason the relationship diminished from girlfriend- boyfriend, to he "rented" the guest room). There wasn't something just "missing", a huge crater developed the seemed to swallow up everything I did enjoy. So I had to stop it, only way out, and have not regreted doing so. The only contact we keep is if I call and ask something about the computers (I have 2). He moved everything out, stored at 3 different places, last year is when I asked him to move everything out which was before the 4th of July. He only came with what he had in his car, as he stayed at hotels in working, but never seem to miss anything. I allowed he to come back weekends when he had photography work to do, but somehow it ended up to be a "dragged" out year. However, I really thought he'd sit down to talk as he did indicate he hated the hotels and he did not want to move. BUT the one thing he never said is, I don't want to move, I want to stay with YOU. The worst was I was in the hospital this past November for a month, he was out in Texas bring some cars with our friend to sell down in Mexico. I actually was not expected to make it through the 2nd day, but I did. Not once, when he brought me home did he say, I'm sorry I wasn' here for you, I'm glad you are OK and nothing happended, not to mention he really never asked anything. When I mentioned that once in a conversation and very shortly after being released from the hospital, his response was "why should I care, you won't even let me sleep with you"!? Heart wrenching and that delivered the final blow, and a heavy blow that was. Cruel really that his physical need was more important then working out WHY there was a lack of the same and certainly NOT because I didn't want to, but in just this "somewhat" short paragraph that was just during the last few months. And, coincidenal as it may be, I asked first and he would not comply, then I had to be more firm and forceful that he could no longer stay here. It was once again the week of 4th of July and actually before my birthday. So that all kinda s---s! He still never said he didn't want to leave, stay with me, apologize for the other issues, etc., I finally got him to walk out the door. NOW he says he didn't want to leave, but there is no recovering the relationship at this point.


This was very demeaning and destroyed any desire of intimacy, which I tried to explain to him, e-mail him regarding concerns and needing to talk when he came back; however, with NO response. So "his" physical desire no longer did it for me. And, yes, leaving a very empty feeling. Pretty sad too, as I do have a nice place to live, nice outdoor living (I live in a modular home against our "historic bluff" area.That really meant nothing to him...he found NO enjoyment in sitting out with me when I had the fire pit going at night and couldn't understand my laying in a lounge chair "star gazing" and trying to figure out the constellations. That was just one thing. I have many bird feeders and would say "hey look at this, I have a blue bird on the feeder"...along with many other species. Nothing, almost like a "dead zone" to reality.


In any event, your comment comes as a surprise, but thank you for actually recognizing the difference and more so expressing the same! So....the other response from the other person (sorry...as I'm typing I cannot go back and view the other response); however, she (I'm assuming) sighed and said she was still there. Well...take a deep breath or sigh and say time to move on and out, it's not worth it!