So true, however if you've experienced at least once, in the relationship, all these eight reasons...get out immediately! Your self esteem, your sanity, your selfworthdoes not merit all that crap! It is my strong opinion, you'llnever truly be happy as much as you FORCE your self to be, just to not "Break Up"!

Excellent article - I'm presently in a relationship with someone who has as passionate views about politics as myself. Unfortunately those polictical passions aren't always in agreement. Yet, as the article states it's how we discuss our different views that is more important than the fact we have different views.

Great article - I have recently been talking to and spending time my "ex" again, although I really hate using this term. Even after 2 years of being apart, I never stopped loving him, and "ex" holds such a negative connotation, but for practical purposes only, we will say "ex". Anwyay, while us being apart may have been goodfor some reasons, I feel we broke up for less than reasonable reasons.


Our biggest problem was that I he didn't want to spend a lot of time with meor do a lot of the things I wanted to do.Really, it's nota terrible problem to have... someone loving another person so much that they want to spend as much time with them as possible. On the other end, I could have been more creative and patient and not taken it so personally. I was more about him than me. In retrospect, the fact that I love, trust and respect him more than anyone else I've ever known (and I'm 30 now) is much more important that a relatively small issue that could have been worked though had we communicated a bit more effectively.


It is too soon to tell if we will enter back into a committed relationship or "end up together", but I have every hope we could, and I'm simplygratefulto be givena second chance.


Thanks for writing this article. I hope it will help someone else not make the samemistake that I made and had to learn the hard way.

Great article - I have recently been talking to and spending time my "ex" again, although I really hate using this term. Even after 2 years of being apart, I never stopped loving him, and "ex" holds such a negative connotation, but for practical purposes only, we will say "ex". Anwyay, while us being apart may have been goodfor some reasons, I feel we broke up for less than reasonable reasons.


Our biggest problem was that I he didn't want to spend a lot of time with meor do a lot of the things I wanted to do.Really, it's nota terrible problem to have... someone loving another person so much that they want to spend as much time with them as possible. On the other end, I could have been more creative and patient and not taken it so personally. I was more about him than me. In retrospect, the fact that I love, trust and respect him more than anyone else I've ever known (and I'm 30 now) is much more important that a relatively small issue that could have been worked though had we communicated a bit more effectively.


It is too soon to tell if we will enter back into a committed relationship or "end up together", but I have every hope we could, and I'm simplygratefulto be givena second chance.


Thanks for writing this article. I hope it will help someone else not make the samemistake that I made and had to learn the hard way.

Great article - I have recently been talking to and spending time my "ex" again, although I really hate using this term.(It holds such a negative connotation.)Even after 2 years of being apart, I never stopped loving him,but for practical purposes only, we will say "ex". Anwyay, while us being apartmay have been goodin some ways,I feel we broke up for less than reasonable reasons and for reasons stated in this article.


Our biggest problem was that he didn't want to spend as much time with me as I wantedor do a lot of the things I wanted to do.Really, it's nota terrible problem to have though... someone loving another person so much that they want to spend as much time with them as possible. And, on the other end, I could have been more creative and patient. It was more about him than it was me, and I shouldn't have taken it so personally. In retrospect, the fact that I love, trust and respect him more than anyone else I've ever known (and I'm 30 now) is much more important that a relatively small issue that could have been worked though had we communicated a bit more effectively.


It is too soon to tell if we will enter back into a committed relationship or "end up together", but I have every hope we could, and I'm simplygratefulto be givena second chance.


Thanks for writing this article. I hope it will help someone else not make the samemistake that I made and had to learn the hard way.

I would be mindful of the admiring others. To some degree this is normal. Howevertaken too far, this can signal an ineptness for the person to be able to fully connect to the heart and soul of his/her partner. Intimacy may be viewed purely from the physical realm. In other words, you may never fully have his/her heart and that can leave the feeling of something is missing. Just my opinion :<)

Wow, now I am really sure that I made the right decision to end my relationship with my ex. I broke up with him in February after 4 long years. I thought he was THE ONE for much of that time, until I realized that I was the only one working on the relationship. He just showed up, told me what he needed or just waited for me to tell him what we were going to do and that was that. It was exhausting. And I found myself feeling disappointed much of the time although I made every effort to express my needs and wants while trying to satisfy his. Even as I read this article, the feelings of sadness, disappointment and loneliness that I felt while I was in the relationship came back to me because I went through a lot of the experiences described and I agree, they aren't good reasons to break up. But I would think most would agree that having the life drained out of you is.

I can understand that point, Dan813. If your partner seems to always be looking at others, it can leave you feeling like he/she is constantly on the look for something better and lead you to feel less confident about the relationship and questioning how much they truly love you.

Well, what if he/she has a health problem he/she refuses to take care of, and we discussed it and he/she agrees it needs to be addressed, but still refuses to do so?

Good luck to you and your "ex" possibly repairing your relationship. Different expectations re: how much time to spend together is an issue that I'm dealing with myself a bit. Many of my friends who are married share that they and their spouses have quite varied interests and spend more time apart than I find appealing. I was married for almost 20 yrs and recognize despite different interests a marriage can exist. I'd like to believe they can exist with better results than my own!


In whatever experience I've gained since my divorce, I have yet to meet a man with mostof my same interests (dancing, hiking, conservative politics,gardening, cooking, reading) whichwould make spending more time together more probable.I have dated men with some of those interests, but not most of them. According to Willard Harley who wrote His Needs/Her Needs ( a book recommended to me by a gentleman I met on eHarmony), Harley says couples need to spend 15 hrs/wk together to have a strong healthy relationship. None of the younger married couples (or even couples my age) thatI talked to thought they spent that much time together every week. Children and workinterfere with much of that time, plus varied interests... golf, different TV show interests, etc.Harley believes couples should make an effort to find mutually satisfying activities that they can share togetherand not have any hobby/interest that your spouse/significant other doesn't condone. He has a more extreme view than many couples probably think necessary.


For me, I'm still unsure how much time I need to spend with my partner/week for me to feel loved. I know that mybeau's and my varied work schedules and distance apart makesseeing each other a bit of a challenge. So time spent together hasn't been that big of an issue. The amount of time he spends or doesn't spend communicating with me when we're not together, has been an issue. Communication is one of my top five emotional needs that I need to have met in a relationship.


This was a bit of a lengthy response to your post, Irishdancer Jen, but I hope it was helpful in some way. Best wishes to you.