Calling all the EH and dating experts


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tropicalbella is offline tropicalbella Post #1  September 14,2008, 10:10am
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I've been on EH for a month, and currently have 3 OCs - wait, 2 - coz one of them just closed me this morning. He and I just had our first date last night (a quick dinner without alcohol involved [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif[/img]). He initiated the contact of EH - so, based on my pics (which are all recent and I've been told many times that I look better in person).


I have to admit there was no chemistry from neither of us. We had a decent conversation - and there was no awkward silence - but we were just not attracted 'that way'!


This what made me think - how hard this online dating thing is going to be! All of my previous relationships were from somesort of being friends first. Whether or not there was an initial 'spark' in the beginning, the whole 'getting to know each other' process were lengthy (in person - not through emails and/or phone calls only!).


I know for a fact that men and women are wired differently - including physical attraction. I think most guys would need that instant spark in the very beginning - while for women, it can develop with time.


If we found the emails and the phone calls were all up to standard, then the first date was 'meh' .. then should we stop right there? With this particular match that I had a date with last night, probably I would say yes to a 2nd date - as long as he admitted that there was no chemistry on the first one (meaning, we're on the same page about this) BUT - he'd like to see how it is the 2nd time.


But really, I don't think any guys would want to 'try again' - after one date with no chemistry.


My question is - for those who has had success with online dating .. how did it go? Were the first dates all 'wow'?
 
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talonfinite is offline talonfinite Post #2  September 14,2008, 10:19am
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tropicalbella, wrote :

I've been on EH for a month, and currently have 3 OCs - wait, 2 - coz one of them just closed me this morning. He and I just had our first date last night (a quick dinner without alcohol involved [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-tongue-out.gif[/img]). He initiated the contact of EH - so, based on my pics (which are all recent and I've been told many times that I look better in person).


I have to admit there was no chemistry from neither of us. We had a decent conversation - and there was no awkward silence - but we were just not attracted 'that way'!


This what made me think - how hard this online dating thing is going to be! All of my previous relationships were from somesort of being friends first. Whether or not there was an initial 'spark' in the beginning, the whole 'getting to know each other' process were lengthy (in person - not through emails and/or phone calls only!).


I know for a fact that men and women are wired differently - including physical attraction. I think most guys would need that instant spark in the very beginning - while for women, it can develop with time.


If we found the emails and the phone calls were all up to standard, then the first date was 'meh' .. then should we stop right there? With this particular match that I had a date with last night, probably I would say yes to a 2nd date - as long as he admitted that there was no chemistry on the first one (meaning, we're on the same page about this) BUT - he'd like to see how it is the 2nd time.


But really, I don't think any guys would want to 'try again' - after one date with no chemistry.


My question is - for those who has had success with online dating .. how did it go? Were the first dates all 'wow'?

tropicalbella, good post.


As to answer about dates from online dating, the majority have been 'meh'. Like you said, the conversations are fine but there is something missing...and it doesn't have much to do with physical attraction...though I only speak on my behalf.


You know, most people don't think this veenue (online dating) is also a good tool to meet people with similiarities and some connections that could lead to good friendships. I can tell you how many profiles I have read where it goes something like, '...if things don't work out, you can get a good friendship out of it!!!'. Yet to this day, I have only remained in one friendly relationship with someone I met online. I think with all the hype and expectation of meeting a 'soulmate' the idea of just meeting someone is lost in the whole transaction.


Anyway, my two cents. I think online dating nowadays has turned towards something as it was viewed in the beginning, something taboo. I had a 2+ year relationship with a woman I met online and it never sat well our stroy of connecting started out with , "We met on match.com...'. Oh well.
 
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colday is offline colday Post #3  September 14,2008, 10:57am
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I am now wondering about this as well. Have been communicating with one of my matches for 3 1/2 months now first in OC on eharmony and then through personal emails and now for over a month via a videophone so we can see each other while we chat on the phone. Now this upcoming weekend we will be meeting in real life for the first time. I know that via the phone calls I feel chemistry and pretty sure that he does as well.But he has said we won't know for sure till we have that face to face real life meet. So next weekend we will have that. I am so nervous and especially nervous now after reading about your experience.


I did have a date with one of my other matches and the first one was like what you described yours was and then we did have a second date and he even suggested meeting again but have yet to have a 3rd meeting since things are progressing with this other match who I feel the spark and chemistry with on the phone so just am hoping that in person we will feel it as well. He also has had 2 dates with one of his other matches same thing with the 1st date so did the whole 2nd date thing and then since then has just been communicating with me. Same as me with him.


So we will see what happens over this next weekend but hope that if the 1st meet isn't what we hope it would go for a 2nd since the first one I will be nervous. So interested to see other peoples responses to your ?
 
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