Are there any ladies out there who see past looks to find their prince charming?

I have looked through dating sites for quite somme time now and I cannot even count how many times I have seen "LOOKING FOR A GREAT GUY" OR "IS THERE A SINCERE AND RESPECTFUL MAN OUT THERE?", "JUST WANT TO BE LOVED FOR ME" and the list goes on and on and on, but I have responded to these types of ads and still get no response. So what is the real desire, or what are these people really looking for? My closest and dearest friends who know me best cannot understand why I am single, and mostly this is because I am an attractive man with a heart as big as the sky, and have more love to give that right person. Most woman honestly would not know what to do or how to handle it because there are so many woman out there who have been treated like possessions, or have been physically, mentally, and psychologically abused. Men who treat woman like this have no business even being with a woman because they make the good guys like me look bad. I firmly believe that whoever the lucky woman that God has planned for me to meet is never going to have to worry about feeling unloved, or disrespected the rest of their life as throughout my life I have seen and felt what it is like to be treated with such cruelty, and with such disrespect that I feel very strongly about my beliefs. I still want to be treated with the same love and respect any other human being expects for themselves, but let's be honest, Do you want a guy who treats you the way you have always dreamed of, or do you want a guy who has a prettier face and treats you like crap???? I am very curious and hope to find some answers about this because I believe therer are a olot of beautiful woman out there missing out on their dreams for the wrong reasons.

Chef,


I think we are all frustrated somewhat as we are all looking right now and have experienced rejection of some sort at some time. I cannot see youu well in yourpicturebut why are you assuming that women reject you because of looks? Are they saying this to you? Second, yes women want a great guy, but being realistic, looks do come into play and anyone (male or female) who says they don't isn't being honest with themselves. That being said, looks are subjective, what one person finds attractive another may find not so attractive no matter what society deems beautiful. I know that several people have posted their profliles on here for others to critique and help revise a bit. Perhaps you should do that if comforatable and see if that helps. Good luck to you.

There is an old saying: "Men fall in love with the woman they are attracted to, and women become more attracted to the man they are in love with" and I have to agree with that.


The traditional ways of meeting people allow you to get to know a person who might not otherwise appeal to you by looks alone. I have never dated a man that was great looking by societal standards, but I have loved several men very deeply. It is because I was able to get to know the person inside the outer package.


With internet dating, where people can say anything they want to about themselves, you have to use *some* sorting method, and looks are a pretty handy starting point. The human mind automatically categorizes those you meet into groups according to sex, race, etc. It is impossible to avoid, it happens within a split second of laying eyes on another. And it is usefull as well.


Imagine a scenario where you never saw the other person, you only communicated through email. Everything is going well, you get along great and have tons in common. You decide to meet, and find that you are utterly unattracted to the person. Physically turned off even. That does not make you a shallow person.


You may have made a lifelong friend, but you were looking for a lover and you still are. The investment in time in energy is not a waste, but it hasn't gotten you where you wanted to go and you are back at square one in the romance department.


Those who say that looks don't matter aren't being honest, either with you or with themselves. We all have a certain range of acceptabilty that another must fall within if things are going to proceed romantically. We can be friends with anyone regardless of looks, but to be romantic there is a certain basic set of requirements that must be met. To deny this is to be dishonest.

Chefdean:


I empathize with your comments. Yes, most mature intelligent wormen would like to treated with love and respect. I personally would rather date a guy who treats me like a human being rather than someone with a "prettier face" (by whose standards, BTW) who is not as nice. I think most men want the same thing, in the long run. Beauty and physical attractiveness (again, judged on whose standards?) lasts for only so long. Over the long term it is the deeper character issuesthat are supposed to matter. However I am a realist--there probably has to be some "spark" of interest or chemistry to get the ball rolling. I just wish more prospective matches on eH would take just a smidgin of time to communicate vs. just closing people out based on looks. This is a common thread that I constantly read on these boards. And these comments come not just from women but from men. Guess that's somewhat refreshing! Seems to be the nature of our society nowadays--obsessed with youth and "good looks".

I have looked through dating sites for quite somme time now and I cannot even count how many times I have seen "LOOKING FOR A GREAT GUY" OR "IS THERE A SINCERE AND RESPECTFUL MAN OUT THERE?", "JUST WANT TO BE LOVED FOR ME" and the list goes on and on and on, but I have responded to these types of ads and still get no response. So what is the real desire, or what are these people really looking for? My closest and dearest friends who know me best cannot understand why I am single, and mostly this is because I am an attractive man with a heart as big as the sky, and have more love to give that right person. Most woman honestly would not know what to do or how to handle it because there are so many woman out there who have been treated like possessions, or have been physically, mentally, and psychologically abused. Men who treat woman like this have no business even being with a woman because they make the good guys like me look bad. I firmly believe that whoever the lucky woman that God has planned for me to meet is never going to have to worry about feeling unloved, or disrespected the rest of their life as throughout my life I have seen and felt what it is like to be treated with such cruelty, and with such disrespect that I feel very strongly about my beliefs. I still want to be treated with the same love and respect any other human being expects for themselves, but let's be honest, Do you want a guy who treats you the way you have always dreamed of, or do you want a guy who has a prettier face and treats you like crap???? I am very curious and hope to find some answers about this because I believe therer are a olot of beautiful woman out there missing out on their dreams for the wrong reasons.

Here's something people seem to be missing? why are you assuming its your looks that are turning people away? In fact, why are you assuming its you at all thats turning people away.